Unshelved by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
comic strip overdue media

Friday, November 12, 2004

Things that bug you when you have obsessive-compulsive disorder

  1. In U2's song 'Vertigo', Bono counts (in Spanish) one, two, three, fourteen!
  2. In the women's restroom down the hall is a small bottle of lotion that's 'Passion Fruit' scented but has a picture of a Hibiscus (totally different plant) on it.
  3. In like vein as an OCD gardener, the mural in one of the hallways has Sunflowers on Iris-like leaves.
  4. This isn't mine, it's someone else's, but the WB keeps saying they're 'fresh' episodes to mean new, leading to this constant debate with the television.
  5. Jewell, honey, it should be 'what if God WERE one of us'. Why is it that most British rockers, even using idioms, maintain decent grammar but Americans just can't seem to do the same? Do they not teach subjunctive case anymore????
  6. When your boss suggests changing seats to keep everyone working happily, you panic because you finally got everything 'just so'. (Of course, there was the one day I had to switch because of a massive allergy attack to something at the desk, anyway, and I survived.)
  7. Why do engineers in Kentucky build all these stupid double left turn lanes that immediately go down to one lane???????
  8. And why do so many people in Lexington fail to visualise using turn-signals???
  9. I hate it when people think I'm germ phobic when really I just hate it when my hands feel like they have stuff on them, whether dog drool or even those antibacterial hand gels, which never quite feel clean until you run your hands under water. I don't sit there and think about the germs if someone shakes my hand or even (and yes, this has happened) spits on me. I just think, ooh, that feels icky. I'm very touch oriented and texture oriented and sometimes the textures just are WRONG, and sometimes when I shake hands someone's palm will feel sweaty and then I have an urge to wash, or I think about how many people snot on their hands and then touch magazines, money, etc. It's not the germs. It's the ick, and it takes a lot to school your reaction when you're trying to be polite. ('Oh no! You touched me...I'll have to burn off those digits! AaaaaahhhH!') See, there's a difference. They also feel icky if they get too dry, but putting lotion on them is fine, because that rubs in instead of 'sitting' on the surface. It's mostly hand oriented. I can plop down on a public toilet, stand in mud, even garden in it, but whereas I could easily let mud dry on my feet, I can't on my hands; I'd have to go wash. But I could pick my own nose and not have to, because there's no sense of contamination. Crazy, eh? Fortunately, Paxil is our friend. And what they often don't talk about is that people with OCD often shift whatever bugs them--I go through spells where I clean, or check the stove or door lock, etc., but I even with mini rituals, I don't always stick to the same thing, so they're both locked in constistency and inconsistent at the same time, as anxiety levels ebb and flow. Probably makes psychiatrists crazy, I'd think. :)

Come on, most people at least have tendencies towards OCD (or are just anal retentive Virgonian weirdos)--or both. Feel free to share yours.

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