I'm reminded of this song by Harry Chapin...

Listening to Harry Chapin

Listening to songs from the '60s and '70s

with happy music, but sad lyrics of loss, including 'Seasons in the Sun', 'Cat's in the Cradle', 'American Pie', the 'Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald', and 'One Tin Soldier'.

Listening to:

Random songs from childhood dredged up by therapy

My main theme song as a child, which in retrospect is a little scary

Simon and Garfunkel's 'Patterns'



another one that was very important to me...I was a very lonely child.

Neil Diamond's 'Shilo'



and then there was

Harry Chapin 'Cat's in the Cradle'



I so wanted to be like my father as a child. More importantly, I wanted to be loved by my father, but when he was there, there was never time for me, or what attention I got was negative. I'd like to think I'm not like him at all, but that sort of thing becomes ingrained, and then there's the fact that any time I look in the mirror I see a strong physical resemblance. Fortunately we can choose to change those ingrained behaviours--especially with a little help from a therapist.

and finally....Supertramp's 'Logical Song'



I never wanted to be put in a mould, but here I am in my 40s and I'm this strange blend of wondrous child and a worker drone who won't take risks. I've gone with what's safe because I've been hurt before. I need to start learning to trust again.