Sad

Someone in my life and I aren't really close anymore. Once we were enmeshed, and it wasn't healthy. Now we see each other on some holidays and when either of us is having health issues. We talk occasionally on the phone. There are good reasons for the distance. But tonight, I received a phone call from her that really brought up a lot of emotions, mainly sadness and concern. They're pretty sure she has cancer, and she will be having a tumour removed next month from her liver; at that point, they'll know more about course of treatment. She already has several health issues, and this must be a blow to her emotionally as well. So tonight I'm feeling sad, concerned, and regretful that our relationship is such as it is, even though I know it's unrealistic to expect better. I love her, though. I don't want to lose her. I'm sad she's going to go through this.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes. The evening took strange turns tonight. I was reminded that I was supposed to dose the dogs for fleas, so I after 'Big Bang Theory', which was great, especially one of Sheldon's mom's lines--'When your idiot brother redeems others, he can marry whomever he wants', I went over there and dosed the dogs, gave one her pill with peanut butter and bread and the rest peanut butter on bread without the pill, cleaned her up a bit, and we were watching the premiere of 'Minority Report' when my mom called. It looks to be a good show, we liked it, so it probably will be cancelled. YKWIA is a bit like Sheldon, not particularly comforting, so afterwards he got A up out of bed (he works very early in the morning) and had him hug me. That was sweet, on both parts. But now I'm home, and away from the distractions of TV, and it's starting to hit me, not just the sadness but the fear of losing her. She's really the only family I have left in Kentucky, and we've shared a lot of life together. But, it must be much worse for her right now. Anyway, I'm going to go on to bed. Tomorrow is an early day, and I'll be in registration part of the morning. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers, if you don't mind, and thanks for doing so. Good night.