and other times, like tonight, I feel really fucked up, like there's no point in going on, and crazy rears its ugly head, and the rages come out, this heartrending tantrum of emotion--anger, sadness, all sorts of things tangled up and pulling at me from all sides, and I wonder if I'm at a point of going to the hospital. Like always, they only last about 20 minutes. I haven't had one in months, maybe even years, and this one surfacing after the lamictal's had a chance to start working is worrisome. I feel fine now, a little drained, but a short time ago I was screaming at a dear friend to basically shut up and leave me the hell alone.
I don't want to be like this.
I want to be well.
I'm tired of this.
So tired of all this.
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