I went to see the psychiatric nurse practitioner today (my former psychiatrist is moving out of state). She was struck by the sheer variety of meds I'm on. Judging from the types of meds and the reasons I was put on them, she suspects that I'm actually being misdiagnosed and am bipolar type 2, with mixed episodes of depression and mania. She is putting me on Lamictal, with the idea of eventually decreasing and possibly getting me off of Adderall, Paxil, and Abilify. Particularly important to her were the racing thoughts I have (supposedly from the OCD), my varying ability to concentrate, and periods of sleeplessness and sleepiness that seem to cycle. She also found it interesting that I do get truly manic when put on Lortab. The idea is that the Lamictal should help with the emotional ups and downs without weight gain (I gained 80 lbs after going on Paxil) and the cognitive issues (such as concentrating). I feel mixed on the diagnosis. On the one hand, I've suspected I might be subclinically bipolar. And of course, I collect diagnoses; each one makes me more 'special' in some corner of my mind. But it's a serious disorder, and not a fun one by any means. But I keep hoping for a diagnosis that explains it all. Maybe this is the one.
So now we wait a few weeks whilst the Lamictal kicks in, hopefully without the rare 'deadly rash' side effect. A friend is already kiddingly getting back at me for all those years of obsessing on diseases, drugs, and allergies by suggesting it every time I seem to itch (which given my skin, is fairly often). If I do turn out allergic, I may get a rash, but the one to watch out for is a very rare syndrome where the skin sloughs off. Yuck. Please don't put me down for that. It is, I repeat, very rare, and only happens when you first go on the drug. So, one pill down and five weeks of ramping up to go. Wish me luck.
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