Feeling kind of blah today

I've mostly been cleaning YKWIA's house, even though there was no game, and doing my laundry. He's been working very diligently on a project on the computer, so we didn't really spend much time together today. When I finished, I went on home. I'm aching in general, my neck, shoulder, and arm is hurting, and I'm feeling a little oversensitive emotionally, maybe due to my hormones.

So I came home and immediately started putting flour and other ingredients into the bread machine for oat bread, scrambled some eggs, and made some hot chocolate. I feel a little better. There's not much in the house, other than pasta, crackers, peanut butter, and that sort of thing, but it hit the spot. When the bread is finished I'll have some peanut butter and jam on it. It should be ready by 8 pm.

I talked to my mom today. She'd just been discharged from the hospital, and her little dog, Sassy, seemed to be enjoying her being back home. It was hard to understand her and be understood, but I gather than in addition to the other things she seems to have broken her shoulder, although I don't know how. I'll check with my stepfather and see what's going on. But she clearly said something about a broken shoulder, and that they were seeing a specialist tomorrow.

The bread machine has stopped its kneading, which means it's safe to leave rising and baking (my machine 'walks' a bit, and I'm always afraid it'll go off the kitchen island if I don't keep an eye on it). I think I'm going to go put some music on and lie down for a bit. I just realised I have a headache, too. I think some ibuprofen is in order. I'll try to write later. Hopefully I'll feel better then. I have to get A tonight from work at midnight, so I can't take the muscle relaxants yet, so ibuprofen will have to do. But I think just lying down and stretching out should help.

I didn't go to Danville today

Mainly because with the issues with the car,  I didn't want to take a chance breaking down away from home.  The car made an awful sound earlier as I turned,  for example.  That might have been the ball joint,  which along with the rear brakes,  needs replacing. My car is also running rough if the defroster or heat is on. Apparently everything's breaking down at once.

I did call my mom at the hospital,  but no one answered. I'll try again tomorrow morning.

We're not playing the game for a few weeks.  Brenda's mom is having issues, too,  and she's going to go visit her for a few weeks out of state.  She'll try to get back in time to take me to my procedure in early December.

I finished Tehanu today, and I checked The Other Wind out from the library on my Kindle,  and I also put Tales from Earthsea on hold,  since the library only has the collection of short stories in print form.

Okay,  I'm headed to bed.  Have a good night.

Um...

Hillary Clinton blames FBI Director Comey for Election Loss

Okay,  it certainly didn't help,  and I think he had no legitimate reason to time it that way, but I think that Clinton has no one but herself to blame for the loss.  One,  the email fiasco was absolutely a stupid thing to do,  regardless of whether it was criminal or not.  Two,  she didn't really campaign well,  often just letting Trump run his mouth (and let's face it,  his worst opponent was not Clinton, but himself, but you couldn't count on that to win), and she allowed a very negative view of her stand in the mind of voters.  Calling Trump voters 'deplorables'  just galvanised them.  She underperformed with the people whom President Obama won over, including groups in traditionally Democrat strongholds.  A lot of people either voted for Trump, a third party, or stayed home,  because they openly disliked her. It's unfortunate that,  at the end of the day,  this election wasn't really based on issues so much as it was an unpopularity contest.  While I disliked Trump far more,  I did not like Clinton,  and resented feeling like I had to vote for her to vote against Trump,  especially given things like how the DNC favoured her over my candidate,  Bernie Sanders,  and the media's role was terrible, too.

Hopefully we'll have better candidates,  next time. To be honest,  I think the bar was pretty damn low in the general election.  But any new candidates should take this year as a cautionary tale and learn what not to do. 

Well

I took a nap,  and while it took awhile, I finally relaxed a bit.  Then I got up,  ate something,  took my evening medicine,  did all my dailies on my Habitica task list,  took out the trash and recyclables (one bag each),  washed the plastic dishes,  loaded the dishwasher and am running the load now,  and downloaded the audio files from the game recording onto the computer so I can do the notes. All in all,  that's pretty productive,  I think.

Things I want to do this weekend:

1) Get my rent in.
2) Take a friend to an appointment.
3) Pick up my friends from there.
4) Go visit my mom.
5) Do the game notes.
6) Put away the laundry from last weekend.
7) Put the dirty laundry in the hamper.
8) Start on the closet.
9) Do laundry.
10) Prepare for the game.
11) Play the game.
12) Pick up a friend Sunday night.

I don't have to pick up A from work on Saturday because he switched with someone and worked election day instead.  He is working tonight,  though,  so I can't take my meds that help work my neck until after I get him at midnight,  as they make me loopy,  being mild muscle relaxants.

Okay,  I think I'll listen to Pandora for awhile and maybe read for awhile.  In addition to the Earthsea Cycle,  I'm making my way through ancient Greek classics,  and the only thing I have left is the complete works of Aristotle. So, while it won't be light reading,  it should be edifying. Perhaps I should do it in short chunks.

Alright,  good night.  I'm not sure if I'll write anymore tonight,  so I'll sign off for now.  And hopefully stop hicoughing. That's so annoying,  especially when you're sliding your finger across a virtual keyboard.

I think

I need a quiet night alone. I'm not feeling the greatest. Not sick or anything, but I feel stressed. I was going to get my rent situated today, but realised only late this afternoon that the banks were closed for Veterans' Day, so I'll have to go tomorrow before I take a friend to an appointment. My stepfather just texted me to tell me my mom is in the hospital. :( I'm hurting a little, and where I didn't have a period last month, I'm making up for it now, so I just feel cranky, bloated, and generally and overall blah.

Breathe.

I have to get A tonight from work at 12, but otherwise I'm free for the evening. I'm going to try to do some reading (I'm reading Ursula K. LeGuin's Tehanu. I read the first three books of the Earthsea Cycle years ago, but I'm trying to finish it out.) I should work on the notes tonight, too, as I may be driving to Danville to see my mom after my friends' appointment. And there's the closet to tackle this weekend as part of my therapy.

But for right now, I'm going to lie down and take a short nap with some music on, and try to relax.

I need to get off the phone

Quickly and go to bed.  The muscle relaxer makes it hard to focus and swipe the correct letters. I've nearly dropped the phone, several times. I was on Habitica and Goodreads and was not really making much sense.  Now it is seriously time for bed.  Good night. Oops,  there went the phone.  At least I grabbed the charging cord before if for the carpet.  This morning I dropped my wallet and my phone pad out and feel on the asphalt face down,  but didn't break, miraculously,  and I was cold sober.  If I had let my insurance lapse when I paid it off,  it might have been an issue. Now,  I'm sitting in my living room loopy as hell. Off to bed. Good night!

PS This post took almost an hour to compose, because I kept hitting the wrong button, opening or closing applications, and dropping or nearly doing so throughout all that. Wow. These things are more powerful than I thought; they're just 12 mg. But I think they're really helping with my neck; I can almost feel my hands again, and my left arm only hurts after an entire day now; it doesn't hurt at all when I wake up. Okay, I can't touch type on the keyboard well, either. I'll just go to sleep.

I've somewhat recovered from Election Day

Both in physical terms (I went to bed about 2 am that night, and got a grand total of four hours' sleep, so I was pretty tired yesterday) and emotionally. I'm not really upset Hillary Clinton lost--I never cared for her candidacy, or how the Democratic National Committee behaved, for that matter, and I was a Bernie Sanders supporter. I, too, am angry about the failure of the two-party system to provide decent candidates. I know a woman will be president, after all, and never got behind Hillary Clinton being that woman. I thought it was silly of people to vote for her simply because of her gender. But I have to admit, I fear a Trump presidency even more, and was terribly upset (although not particularly surprised, actually) that he won. I knew there was a good chance. A very wise friend had pronounced a sooth that Hillary Clinton would never be president. He also taught me a long time ago that our democracy is flawed and that Trump's candidacy and election were totally understandable, especially in an environment where 'reality' TV is considered entertainment, celebrity is valued over hard work and intelligence, money rules, and a good part of the country has been simmering for some time ready to rise up and boil over. People will study how this happened; I'm not sure you can put it simply in terms of white vs. other or rural vs. cosmopolitan. As someone who studied history pretty thoroughly, I know it's never as easy as that. It will certainly be one for historians to write books about, that's for sure. Oddly enough, I was the one, not A (who was always a Hillary supporter (even against President Obama) and was absolutely convinced she would win), who took this the hardest. YKWIA actually hugged me last night, in my funk. He said 'I wish I could tell you it will get better, but we both know it won't. It'll be a long eight years.' 'Eight!' I said, 'Please tell me it'll be four.' He said, 'No, people will be so entertained by Trump that they'll vote for him again.' He refers to the state of America now as 'Trumplandia'. But it's not just the Trump win. Our entire government is now in the hands of one party, a small number of people with a great amount of power, I'm not sure that is a good idea, whether Democrat or Republican, and even the Kentucky state House, which has been Democrat for 90 years and may have been the only one in the South to be Democrat, went Republican, and we have a conservative governor whose first actions included shutting down the most successful state exchange for insurance in the country. YKWIA also said I was reacting, or even overreacting, unexpectedly. I think part of it was that I'm facing the uncertainty of losing my job in just four-and-a-half months, and now I have no safety net at all, in terms of things like health insurance. If the Affordable Care Act is repealed, I will most certainly not qualify for any, as I have diabetes and am on insulin, at least any that I can afford. Of course, the plan was always to get a job before that happens, but at least I had a backup plan. Well, Plan B just went out the window. So I'll have to make sure I waste no opportunity and find another position, one with benefit--soon.

Then there's this

These screenshots from the app Daylio on my phone pretty much sum up today.  Well,  add some anger in the mix,  too.

I can't begin to tell you how I feel tonight, but here's a glimpse into my mindset...

Tonight is the 78th anniversary of Kristallnacht. At a time when my beloved country has elected a candidate who was openly endorsed by white supremacists--who are now celebrating a Trump victory--I pray that the divisive language of the campaign in the end means nothing, but as a student of history, I am concerned. Today in Philadelphia, shop windows were broken and Nazi slogans and swastikas were spray painted. Here, in America, in 2016, on the very day this man was declared the winner of a contentious election cycle. Coincidence? Maybe. There will always be those who hate. But I know a lot of people feel a lot less safe in today's America vs. yesterday's, are stressed over whether they will lose healthcare, experience newly infused discrimination and hate, and what the next four years (please let it be just four years) will mean for our country. His supporters speak of a country 'taken back' and 'united'. But sadly, that does not seem to be the case. Unless we all learn to live together and embrace our diversity, it will never happen.The thing is, America was always great, we are stronger together, and our motto is rightly 'united we stand'. I hope people remember that, because if we crumble in our resolve to be the nation which our Founding Fathers created, there are so very many horrific things that can happen.

Well, that was silly

I was going around turning out the lights,  including the star-lights,  which blink,  and after I'd turned those off and set the fish tank to the blue 'moon' light,  there was still this blinking glow,  and I thought,  is there something outside doing that?

Then I did the same in the bedroom,  and there it was again,  this eerie light flashing.  It was then that I finally figured out that it was the Bluetooth indicator on my headphones.  Sigh.  I wonder about myself,  sometimes.  But in my defence,  it's on the back of the headphones,  and I don't notice it,  except apparently in total darkness.

After work today I had a very good therapy session,  spent some time with YKWIA,  and then I came home and worked on an application for a fourth job opening,  and I got the materials hammered out,  so I can apply online tomorrow. I have checked and triple checked my grammar and spelling.  I'd made a couple of mistakes on the UK CV and had decided I had no chance with that one,  but one of my references told me she'd been contacted by them,  so that is a good sign. So there are applications that have been submitted to the state,  UK,  the local community college,  and tomorrow I'll apply to the public library. I think I'm doing what I can, considering we're at five months till  layoff and counting.

Okay,  I'm making bread but I'll let the machine do its thing (it turns off automatically),  I'll sleep for a little over so hour,  take it out,  and then go back to sleep,  then get up early tomorrow and vote.  That's the plan,  anyway,  with an emphasis on the voting part.  At least it's light outside again for awhile. Good night.  And remember to vote!