I was at the doctor's for 2 1/2 hours today

but I was running behind by about 15 minutes, so we were both having issues. I spent the majority of it in one of the exam rooms on an uncomfortable chair; I really would have rather waited in the lobby. But Dr Nesbitt was apologetic, they were apparently having one of 'those days'. He's the only one in the practice and I like him too much (among other things, I like that he's Canadian--I don't know why) to really be annoyed. Anyway, I brought in my Excel chart of my blood sugar readings and he put me on Avandia in addition to the Glucophage (metformin) and Januvia. My evening readings are pretty good (tonight's was 127) but my morning ones are still high, although not as high as they were.

I had an appointment with my new therapist for the first time yesterday. I gave him the high (or low, depending on how you look at it) points of my life with my family, with my ex-husband and his partner, and life since that. It was a little overwhelming, although I asked if if I'd scared him and he said no. He said he thought it was very interesting and would continue to be so. I got the impression of an explorer coming upon a mountain to climb or a new continent. Somehow that should bother me, but it doesn't. I guess because I get to be a part of it. I see him again on Tuesday. This is the the fifth social worker I've tried, but the first man. He seems to have good professional boundaries and doesn't seem likely to jump to conclusions like the others. If it doesn't work out the practice also has a couple of psychologists, although they're harder to get in to see. I already have homework, to come up with a list (it doesn't have to be long) of coping mechanisms I'd like to work on and make more functional, like eating when stressed, or sleeping when stressed. I do both of those. I also forget anything unpleasant, hoard, and pick at myself. Sounds a little crazy, hmm?

Well, it's off to do laundry and notes. Cerys is lapping up the last of the remains of my fish, potatoes, and vegetables. Good night.

Today was beautiful in terms of weather

although the Virginia Tech shootings were still very much on people's minds. I noticed people at several tables talking about it at lunch; at ours we seemed to all avoid it, although I did talk a little with one co-worker when I came in this morning, and then I asked the one who went to Virginia Tech how she was doing. She seemed very subdued and stressed.

I did check the online news a couple of times over the course of the day and saw that they'd identified the gunman and some of his victims. For those Koreans who might be reading, I think it would be incredibly stupid of someone to make some racist comment against Koreans or Asians because of this tragedy. But then, one should never underestimate the stupid, I suppose. Just know that the majority of Americans would think no such thing. It sounds like he was a very troubled young man who resisted any overtures of friendship or help, and that's a shame. And in a way, I guess, he was a victim, too. A friend said it best: sometimes there is no bad guy to blame, there is only sadness (I'm paraphrasing, lord knows I'd never remember the exact words, but you get the drift). Another friend asked a question that he heard on the news: Would you feel differently to know that 30 soldiers had been killed in Baghdad rather than 30 people killed at a college campus in the States? I said, no, both were sad and tragedies, and were equally horrific. The only differences I can see are that the soldiers volunteered to go into a war zone, so there is an expectation that they might be killed, whereas those in a classroom have no such expectation and are pretty much innocently minding their own business, and the other difference is that the media will cover the latter much more than they will the former, partly due to distance and partly due to war 'fatigue' in the press and general public. But both cases are equally tragic.

Turning from the tragedy, my day went pretty well. I went to the doctor and he's going to put me on Glucophage XR (once a day), since I've been forgetting to take my nightly dose (all my other meds are in the morning, and I'm also starting a new drug, Januvia. I'm just glad he didn't put me on insulin. They checked my blood there (not with a lancet device mind you, but with the nurse coming in and just jabbing me with a lancet) and it was 177, not bad considering I'd eaten a little before. Then they took blood. The only weird thing was their scale reads 264 lbs(whereas the one I use at the hospital says 287 lbs). I haven't gained any weight since last time apparently. But that's a big difference. Dr Nesbitt says that a new drug is coming out this summer (hopefully) that works on getting your triglycerides in good shape and can cause a 12-20 lb weight loss in a year. He plans on going on it and its sounds like something that would be good for me, too. It apparently targets the 'brown' fat held around the abdomen (making for that deadly apple-shape).

Well, that's all for now. It's getting late and I should sleep.