Happy Coming Out Day

October 11th is National Coming Out Day, a day devoted to helping people feel comfortable with safely coming to terms with their sexual orientation and encouraging them to talk to their loved ones and others about their lives.

In a way, my sexual orientation is rather moot, since I haven't dated in over a decade, and I don't really consider it to be a major part of who I am. But when I'm talking to people and the issue comes up, I believe it's best to be up front and say well, I'm bisexual, or if I see a guy or a girl and I think he or she is cute, I'll say so. But it's kind of weird because even my gay friends find that strange. In essence, I don't think the person's gender matters to me nearly as much as the personality, and although I recognise that there is chemistry between myself and other women or between myself and men, I haven't really found anyone who I just fell for, and I mostly see myself as fairly asexual. But I'd hate to think that if I had a girlfriend people would judge me differently for keeping her picture at the office or taking her to functions than if I had a boyfriend. And I have friends who are far more committed and loving than anything I ever experienced in my own short-lived marriage, and it bothers me that they can't profess their love for one another, enjoy legal protections and benefits of marriage, and very well might be attacked by some homophobic louts. I wish people could let go of hate and ignorance, especially those who have family members who come out as gay. I think it's incredibly sad when a parent disowns a child for an accident of birth. I can't imagine doing that to my own child, but I've seen it time and time again. I think most parents could be helped by groups like PFLAG to deal with the emotions it brings on, but many never seek that sort of help.

If you know people who are gay today, why don't you give them a small gesture of support? And if you know someone you suspect is gay, just saying something that shows you're not in the rabid homophobe camp can do a lot to help with the fear and in many cases self-hate people have who have always been told that being different is not acceptable.