Unshelved by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
comic strip overdue media

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Saturday Slant: You. Fame. Live television. Uncensored.

The Saturday Slant - New Every Saturday Morning

Britney’s 55-hour marriage. The Britney-Christina-Madonna kiss. Justin’s exposition of Janet’s breast. Today’s celebrities are turning noteriety into notoriousness, celebrity into shock value. Imagine yourself a celebrity. You are known by all and the frequent target of papparazzi cameras. You are about to appear on live television on an undelayed broadcast. You have the opportunity and means to distinguish yourself from the flock of Glamoratti parading across the television in a never-ending blur of one pretty face and perfect body after another. Here is your opportunity. What do you do with it?


When I was little, like most kids, I dreamt of fame. As a grew older, those dreams persisted, although I wanted to be a famous writer as opposed to, say, a performer. I'm very uncomfortable with the spotlight, and I'd rather be able to fade back into anonymity on demand. When everyone knows your name--but not necessarily your face--at least you can go to the local grocery without being mobbed.

As the years have gone on and the price of celebrity has paraded itself in front of us so clearly--suicide, drugs, papparazzi, the death of Princess Diana, things like that--you start to ask why anyone would want fame, whether it's due to talent, money, or power (i.e., the president).

But...if I had it...if I had just a moment, say at an awards ceremony, I think I would walk up to the podium, say thank you to the presenter, take the award, look straight at the camera, and say the following:

Never be afraid to dream, or to make those dreams reality. Believe in yourself, no matter what others think. Work hard. Love freely. Be yourself. Help others whenever you can. Anything less in a crime against the world, and a crime against yourself.


I'm not sure it would be as eye-catching as baring a breast or pulling a stunt...but it would be real, it would certainly be different, I wouldn't lose the respect of others who might see me as a rolemodel, and somewhere out there, maybe someone would listen.

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