I can't imagine what these people are going through

no matter how many news stories I read--and I grew up in Louisiana, so I'm at least familiar with the geography.

CNN.com - Conditions deteriorate in Katrina's wake - Aug 31, 2005

Want to help?

Katrina Help is a Wiki trying to coordinate some of the news, aid, and need in the area akin to the Tsunami Wiki it's modelled upon.

And of course, there's the American Red Cross, which could really use your donations right now...you can donate online or call 1.800.HELP.NOW.

I'm still trying to find out about my cousin Steve, who's an engineer in Mississippi, I think in Biloxi. Maybe he evacuated to his parents' in Georgia. I hope so. In the meantime, my prayers and thoughts are with everyone affected by this disaster.

Well, it's still gloomy outside but I feel better

I spent the evening with D and her 4-month-old yesterday, and I feel a lot better today. We had a long talk, and I think just having a chance to see her and spend some time together really helped. We're really good at cheering the other up, and fortunately we tend to alternate 'bad days', so we're generally not having one the same day. She also fixed me some food to take home so I'm set until I get paid on Thursday. Today I lucked out, too, because all employees got a free meal since the cash register in the cafeteria went bonkers. Yay! It couldn't come at a better time, right before payday. So, my only concern at this point is having enough gas to last until Thursday, since my gas light is on and I have errands to run tomorrow. Otherwise, I'm doing pretty well.

We're getting the rain from now tropical storm Katrina, so we have a flood watch and the rain has just been very steady all day. But the rest of the week is supposed to be sunny. I'm looking forward to the three-day weekend coming up, too, although I don't really have any plans.

Well, that's enough for now; I just wanted to update things. Julie, when you read this, know I'm thinking of you and I'm glad you're doing better. For the rest of you, adieu until I write again.

PS My mom called this morning and told me my stepfather John was doing better. I hadn't blogged about it, but I was worried because he had septicaemia, probably getting an E. coli infection from a salad he'd eaten at a fast food chain. But he's back at work today and doing better. Go, John!

It's a gloomy Monday

As we get loads of rain in anticipation of Katrina, whose remnants will hit Kentucky sometime late Tuesday/early Wednesday. We're aready expecting one to seven inches of rain, and of course flash flooding is a particular danger in Kentucky with its many waterways and valleys.

Here in Lexington it's been quite grey and dark both yesterday and today, with at times heavy rain but overall cooler, with temps just above 80 degrees, so it's given some relief to what has been a fairly hot summer.

My mood is a bit gloomy and a little lonely as well. Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by the day-to-day aspects of your life that you wanted to just walk away? I get to do that to some degree over the next month, not in terms of giving up being responsible for my own life, but an experiment of sorts to explore the quality of a relationship and all the responsibilities (and benefits) it entails. I won't go into it here to any great degree, but for September I'm going to have a lot of time to myself, hopefully to get my head on straight as a consequence. Or I suppose I might just spiral down. I'm not sure. It could go either way, I suppose. I hope this month will bring with it some greater appreciation and understanding of things.

Wednesday I have an appointment with my psychiatrist, then I go back into therapy starting the 14th. I'm hoping it will help, because I'm pissing people off without meaning to, and apparently I'm being just crazy enough to be annoying or frightening without really being aware of doing anything wrong, which isn't the greatest sign in the world. I usually have a little bit more insight than that. There seems to be something about this time of the year...four years ago I went into DBT because I was damaging friendships, and now, four years later, I'm not really sure I've gotten that much better. But I don't want to be a crazy person without friends, so I keep trying to get better. At least I'm not clinically depressed on top of things this time; I just have to deal with myself and my daemons.

I guess that's it for now. I know this post seems fractured, because I can't really candidly type it all out without violating a promise. And in typical blogger fashion, it seems all about me. It's not, not really, but it's all I can blog about at this point. I know things will probably get better, and that seventeen years won't just evaporate overnight. I just hope I haven't been eroding things to a breaking point. I'll know in a little over a month. You'll know from my mood how things have gone, no doubt. If you know me in real life, this might make sense, or may not. At this point I don't much care. What matters is I'll know what it means, and I can look back at this as a turning point for good or bad.

I just hope things work out for the best for all concerned.

Reading + Environmental Awareness = Win, Win

Read a Book...Save the Planet is s Scottish initiative aimed at getting kids to turn off their TVs and video games and read/visit libraries instead. It mixes the love of reading with conserving electrical energy. Now if they just add walking to the local library if possible (or biking), with exercise in the mix, it'd be pretty much perfect. Although with the way neighbourhoods are designed these days, I don't know how many kids can safely walk to their local library. Still...it's a nice idea.

Beware the Blog

Yet another story on the scope and consequences of blogging.

For Julie

who's been in and out of the hospital several times over the past few weeks. Know that I'm thinking of you and I hope that everything goes well. Hope to see you soon up and fine. Take care.

Ruminating

This song by Staind has haunted me of late

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

Mulling Over the Menezes Affair

I came across this, from : Who Knows Where Thoughts Come From, as reported in BBC NEWS UK Magazine Blog in haste, repent at leisure?:

It's a strange contrast between the treatment of the leaker (suspended from work) to the treatment of the assassin (distinctly not suspended; given an expenses paid holiday though). It would make you think that exposing the truth is a worse crime than killing an innocent man.

Indeed. I don't know if the whole truth in this case has yet played out, but certainly the scrutiny should bring out quite a bit in the details, hopefully in a way that will prevent further loss of innocent life.

This vending machine won't bloat you with calories

...but you can choose from 25 different contemporary and classic books for your ride on the Metro. :)

Guardian Unlimited Special reports A book emergency? No problem

Far too little way too late, but I'm glad they got them

Interned Japanese-Americans Get Diplomas