Wise words

 

Shinedown used this song as a fundraiser during Covid, and it's still very got wonderful lyrics...

I have almost obsessively been listening to the Shinedown station on Pandora, and I'd not heard this song before. Looking into it (it was a single, because it didn't quite make it onto their album Amaryllis), I found out that it was originally given to donor as part of a fundraiser for first responders during the Covid epidemic. The photos took me back to that time, which wasn't so long ago, of course, but seems like such a different world. As a healthcare worker (albeit not a first responder), I was considered an essential employee and continued through the whole pandemic. I also made it through the pandemic without Covid, only getting it last October. I have seven vaccinations total, and I credit that with a lot of it, as well as handwashing, masking, and social distancing. My roommate got it when I did, so it was a bit of a health scare, but we both wound up with something akin to a bad flu, and I kept testing positive, so I was off work for ten days, with burned some of my extended illness bank. But I was thankful it wasn't worse. To give you some idea of how seriously it was treated in this house, he (for good reasons I won't go into) still has me wash my hands as soon as I come through the door and wipe down groceries with disinfecting wipes (although I think the efficacy of the latter was kind of debunked early on, if it makes him feel better, it's alright).

Anyway, the song is excellent. Kudos to Shinedown for doing their part in helping, and then making it widely available. It was their record-breaking eighteenth number one hit (I think they're way past that now), and I'm glad I found it.

Wow...I've missed two whole months of posting...

 Sorry about that. I've been a bit busy. I've:

• Taken a new position at work
• Have been trying to work on my health, particularly my shoulder and dizziness
• Have a new diagnosis
• Started with a new behavioural therapist
• Wrapped up with three health providers (two are retiring)
• Have had an MRI and determined the cause of the freaking amount of pain I've been in
• Have been really tired and in pain, so I've been crashing a lot

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PART ONE:

The Health Emergencies

So, in February, I had not one, but two, emergency room visits. The first was a haemorrhagic urinary tract infection, where basically my back hurt all day, I was in some pain, and then suddenly I couldn't pee despite really needing to do so and feeling like I was going to burst, and then suddenly I was peeing blood instead. This was alarming, so I called my primary care provider, who thought I might be passing a kidney stone, so called a friend to take me to the ER [I'd had some reason I couldn't drive, I think, either a medicine or car trouble], where I found out after many hours and imaging (CT scans) that I did not have a kidney stone, but rather a raging E. coli bladder infection--something I hadn't had for years, and which I'd never had this particularly type of before. Apparently blood seeps from the lining of the bladder. But they wouldn't let me go until I could produce a urine sample, which was something like five hours, and then it was such a scant amount, barely the minimum they needed to run the test. I got put on two fairly major antibiotics. I had an excuse but went to work the next day feeling like crap because I couldn't afford and occurrence. We'd had bad weather in January and I'd had one where I'd got stuck on the glazed icy street after a snowstorm and the tow truck couldn't get down my street. My boss had told me to stay home before I could suggest trying to take the bus in, so I did. But I got an occurrence. So there was that. I couldn't afford to take one. But between my coinsurance for my medication and that visit, I met my out of pocket for my health insurance, so that was something, at least.

Then, about the time I got over that, I went to get kitty litter while doing my chores before the Sunday Cthulhu game, I picked a 25-lb. box of Fresh Step off the shelf  and tried to get it into the cart. I felt and heard a large pop in my biceps, and at that point knew I'd ruptured it. I'd been through this before, when I'd fallen in November 2023 and hurt my left shoulder, which required a biceps tenodesis and rotator cuff repairs for both tears of the biceps tendon and several in the rotator cuff. I got home, and when Brenda arrived for the game, I asked her to take me to the ER again.  We were there for quite some day. They did x-rays but no MRI. They said if I'd torn my biceps tendon there would be a bruise.  This was all on my dominant right hand. My hand was numb, and white. They thought that might be a reaction to the trauma, but my arm wasn't broken (I didn't expect it to be). Then they sent me home and told me to take ibuprofen. Again, I had an excuse for two days, but went to work anyway.

The next day I had a very nasty bruise right over my biceps.  Ding, ding, ding!

I made an appointment with my orthopaedist who did the rotator cuff/tenodesis last year. He said I most likely tore the long head of my biceps tendon up near the shoulder itself this time, and that it was probably on its way already, and it had been hurting when I reached for them in the checkout bay. He said that it was attached in two places, so they'd normally clip the long head anyway and see how it healed, so it sort of did what it would do, but that in 40-5% of people, they also injure the rotator cuff, so he'd suggest waiting a month to see how it would do. At first it did seem to be getting better, than it went downhill from there. By the time I went back at the beginning of April, it was clear that I was most likely in that 40-50%. So he ordered an MRI. The MRI showed a completely torn biceps tendon at the long head, with degenerative issues in the rotator cuff and at least three tears in the tendons of the rotator cuff. So. Yeah. He knows his stuff.

But I saw him the other day. He thought even with all that physical therapy would be better than surgery and strengthening would help more, but I have already been through shoulder PT and have pullies, bands, and weights, so he recommended a home exercise programme. So I'm going to focus on that. He also told me to cut back on the ibuprofen. I have been taking the absolute max, and I know it. It's just been hurting so much, all of it--shoulder, knees, etc., that it's been hard to function otherwise. So I'm down to the standard 400 mg. about three times a day. I was taking twice that, for awhile. And that's not good for my kidneys, especially as a diabetic.  So I did take his advice, because, well, I do know better, and he went to med school for four years plus all those residency and fellowship years. :)

Anyway, I've been trying to focus on my health for the last five months. I've also had a lot of dizziness. It started last autumn, well, really before that, I've gone through physical therapy before, but it hasn't resolved it, and it's coming in spells lasting from an hour to a couple of weeks. I'm thinking it may be a problem with my inner ear.  I always seem to have what my PCP likes to call 'Eustachian tube dysfunction', because they're stuffy a lot. So I have an audiogram and visit with an otolaryngologist (ENT) scheduled on May 30th. Oddly enough, just after I made the appointment, the last spell stopped. Of course. But that's good, right? Hopefully, he'll be able to give me some answers.

This is going to be a long post. I'm already tired. Maybe it's best to break them up.

More to come...

:(

I have been thinking about one of my beloved professors, my undergraduate professor and my graduate advisor in the mediaeval history programme at UK, Dr. E. Randolph Daniel, all this past month. I knew him all told for about fifteen years. Of course that was many years ago, and I knew he was quite elderly and today I put in his name and 'obituary', and sure enough, his memorial service was earlier this month. He'd died on February 23rd.  I am so sorry I missed his service. He really stood up for me in the department when I was having problems due to undiagnosed health issues, as well as a nasty marriage and the resulting divorce. Many years ago I sent him a card thanking him, but I hadn't spoken with him since shortly before he retired in 2000. But he taught me so much and he put up with a lot from me, and I so appreciated it. Requiescat in pace, Dr. Daniel. Here is a link to his obituary. 

 

Note to self - it's not always the techie solution that's needed

So, when your perennial issue of one earbud is so much quieter than the other comes up and you're messing with the balance on your phone (but resetting it for any other device) and Googling how to reset your Tozo T6 earbuds because you always forget, and you just try it five times to be sure and it still doesn't work....

It's the ear wax and dust, stupid. Now I've never been able to get the mesh cover off with tweezers like some geniuses out there, but I've soaked the mesh in alcohol (not the earbud, just a bit of alcohol off a pad), blown through the mesh pretty strongly when dry, knocked it a couple of times, and used a tiny brush, and it's all better. I wish I could get the mesh off, because I suspect it's icky back there, but there you go.

One suggested way of dealing with it is to suck it and get the crap out that way. It was useful, worked, and utterly something a guy would try. I was almost there, but mine worked, and I didn't have to spit out or swallow nasty stuff from my ear.

Anyway, I am posting this in case I remember to search my blog for this next time, it comes up on a Google search, since it's public, or if it helps someone else.

Beyond the Amazon boycott

I participated in the recent one-week boycott, but I'm sure that was a drop in the bucket for the company and Jeff Bezos. So I'm trying to dial back on my reliance on Amazon due to some of their policies and the fact that really, I'd rather support good than line the pockets of billionaires at cost to employees if I can. I have a Kindle, so I can't extricate myself completely, but I'm trying to find things locally or on other websites as I can and only buying from Amazon when I can't find it elsewhere or where the cost really is too prohibitive for me to go elsewhere. For books, I think I've found a solution. There is a seller on Amazon that often sells used books, but they also sell new books as well. [A competitor in the used book field, AbeBooks, is owned by Amazon]. The one I found is called Better World Books, and I've gotten books from them through Amazon before with no problem. But directly, for each book sold, they donate a book. They also have a literacy fund you can donate to support libraries and literacy programmes. I found a book that's been sitting in my wishlist on Amazon used for a quarter of what I would have paid in very good condition (I didn't need it new) yesterday and got two more for less than the original would have cost, with shipping free and tax included (less than $20). But there are new ones, too. You might want to check them out. Here is a link to their mission.

Grr...

I was complaining at work the other day about how dark it would be in the mornings with Daylight Saving Time and was assured that no, it would actually be lighter. It is now 7 AM. Behold... The DARK. 1) I have seasonal affective disorder, and i use a light on dark mornings to prevent depression, 2) I have experienced DST coming up on 58 times in my life, and 3) the whole point of DST is to have sunlight in the afternoon. But since my anxiety makes me question everything I think and say, I shut up. Fortunately, it's a temporary setback, and the light part of the year will prevail in general. But I hate Daylight Saving Time, and these next couple of the weeks will be hard. 😢😡

What a blessing from sadness

Nazis stole this Holocaust victim’s books. How his grandson unexpectedly got them back: Project in Germany aims to return books to their rightful owners

Quote for the Day

In our new age of terrifying, lethal gadgets, which supplanted so swiftly the old one, the first great aggressive war, if it should come, will be launched by suicidal little madmen pressing an electronic button. Such a war will not last long and none will ever follow it. There will be no conquerors and no conquests, but only the charred bones of the dead on and uninhabited planet.

William L. Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A History of Nazi Germany

Eighty years, and what have we learned?

This haunting memorial is found in Budapest, Hungary. It is called 'Shoes on the Danube Bank'. Conceived of by film director Can Togay and created in conjunction with sculptor Gyula Pauer, it commemorates and honour the memories of the Jews and others who were massacred by fascist Hungarian militia during the Second World War. Men, women, and children were told to take off their shoes, which were valuable and could be resold by the militia afterwards, whereupon the people were shot at the edge of the water so their bodies fell into the water and were carried away.  These represent the shoes that were all that were left of the lives lost. 60 pairs of period shoes made of iron are attached to the ground. Sometimes you will see pebbles or stones stacked atop the shoes. This is not part of the sculpture. It is an act of grief often found in Jewish cemeteries.

Most of the shootings took place in a period of only a month, between December 1944 and January 1945.  During that time the Arrow Cross Party police also took as many as a further 20,000 Jews from the Budapest ghetto and executed them along the river bank.

These acts were not carried out by hard-core German Nazis. They were radicalised Hungarians in a society already inured to the ideas of anti-Semitism. Pogroms were popular in Eastern Europe. And Hungary had been part of an empire cut up like a steak after WWI by the victors. There was the same resentment and feeling of powerlessness there for the taking as in Germany, and Jews were a historically convenient scapegoat because they were different