A post before bedtime...

Turns out many of us on one of my library lists collect names, are fascinated by them, etc. I am so glad I'm a librarian. The more I talk to others of my profession the more I realise I'm in just the right field.

Anyway, someone posted a link for the Name Nerds Naming Convention Quiz. Turns out I'm Classic Unusual in my naming philosophy, which is dead on. (Nearly all my names for future imaginary children and imaginary but slightly more real game characters fit this category, I think).

Wisdom from Action League Now!

Master Poo: Remember, the butterfly does not need wings to fly.
Stinky Diver: Wait. Yes it does!
Master Poo: You know what I mean!

I have become a closet fan of this show. It features plastic superheroes in the grand tradition of the games we played when I was a kid--when a Barbie doll was off saving another planet, for example. Or the stuff we did with Star Wars characters. When I was 10 only a couple of the kids in the neighbourhood had actually seen Star Wars (and I got the garbled version--I had one friend who insisted Luke and Leia got married at the end, which if you were to think so, wouldn't it be Luke and Han being married? I guess it was Leia's white dress that threw her off)--but we were all playing with the figures. Anywhere, where else can you find a wickedly funny children's show (as much as any modern cartoons are really for kids) that has a superhero like The Flesh ('he's really big, and really naked')? It's like traipsing back in time.

Wow

I really don't know what to make of the various forms of obesity surgery. I mean, there's something like a 1 in 600 chance of dying, right off the bat. And lifelong health issues and side effects. But for some, it very well may be the best option. And I have to admit, every now and then I think about it. I mean, I'm 267 lbs., diabetic, etc. Granted, I think with me it's a matter of actually working on it (to be honest, I've never really tried to lose weight for any real period of time. I just go up and down depending on how my life's going and my insulin resistance). A few years ago I stopped eating the things I had allergies to and took my medicine faithfully and went down to 198, felt great, and was a size 14/16 (at least I'm solidly fat). But then I got to a point where someone really was coming onto me strong sexually (I tend to keep weight on to keep people away, I've realised), I was having a lot of issues, and I went off my Glucophage, started eating processed foods, and shot back up.

But now I've gone through counseling, and I feel so much more active and better. When I went out on a date awhile back I found myself not pigging out or eating emotionally at all--in fact, I was cleaning house, taking care of myself, and generally felt completely normal. The one person who tended to put me down for my weight while seeming to understand is gone from my life. Everyone else pretty much accepts me as I am, and no matter how much or little I weigh, it won't matter to them--they love me as I am. I think for a long time my weight has been a way to separate me from the rest of the world, to push people away, and in a way, a passive form of suicide. But you know what? I want to live life to the fullest now. It doesn't matter so much how much I weigh as whether or not I can do the things I want to. I don't want to push people away anymore. I want to connect with people, and I do now, and it's natural and non-threatening. I'm not the shy little girl who used to hate herself. And besides, the rest of America has supersized itself, too, so I'm pretty much part of the norm now. :)

So, I have to admit lately that I'm feeling that it's time to get a handle on my health, to work on my energy, and the best way seems to be working on my body as a whole. I've always been very wary of 'dieting'. My mother went through so many when I was a child, and it wreaked havoc with her health at times. I can remember her on one in the 70s (Atkins or Pritkin, I can't remember which), where she looked anorexic. And as someone who can gain or lose 20 lbs. of water weight in a couple of weeks, I've never really understood obsessing over a pound or two at a time. But I want to become more active, and I want to feel better, and so I think it's time to put all that theoretically knowledge of nutrition, etc. into practice.

That said, I was reading one of my lists and saw an announcement of a woman who had lost 167 lbs. There was a link to a great little journal that shows the ups and downs of having such a gastric procedure. Not that I'm anywhere near going under the knife (I think that's definitely a last resort for me, and frankly I've not reached a point where I hate being fat more than I fear surgery). But her story was very inspirational, and maybe I could use her as a role model. For all the people who fail at losing weight, there are those who do make it. There's no reason I can't be one of them, right?

This is so sad...

Right before I left work I read the paper for the first time in a couple of days, and they had a story of a little girl who'd been swept away in a flash flood. Remember the torrential rainstorms from Saturday? Searchers have been hoping against hope that they could find the girl, a six-year-old with cerebral palsy who was snatched from her grandfather's arms by flood waters, alive. The grandfather suffered a heart attack trying to reach the girl and has been in the hospital. People came from seven counties to help with the search. Her picture shows such a cute, bubbly girl. I can't imagine the emotions her family and friends have been going through, but it must be a terrible place to be in.

Today they found her body, still clutching a teddy bear.

What an awful way to lose a child. She seemed to touch the lives of everyone around her. They called her a 'miracle baby' because she beat the odds and lived when no one was sure she would. How horrible to lose her, especially this way. I think this is a family that definitely needs to be in our prayers and thoughts. I pray they find comfort, and that she finds peace.

You know how they always say parents don't care about education anymore? Or that no one values librarians?

Well, check out this story of a group of parents who raised and donated the amount needed to keep their school librarian.

Yay, brains!

Okay, if you're not a fan of Invader Zim, the Nickelodeon cartoon, that headline might not make any sense. Suffice to say that I'm feeling great and happy after a weekend where I wasn't trying to fit umpteen million things into a very small space and actually got some rest--Saturday, especially, as we had a couple of torrential downpours (one of which I slept to, the other I waited out at Walgreens). Yesterday we didn't game but I did work on a new character and a hypertexted directory for the game that will help in finding all those nifty abilities when we need it. See, the thing about game publishers is that they're great about having creative writers, but not so great with editors, indexers, etc. In fact, it's always a blessing just to find a book with an index--even if the terms don't point to the right pages. You'll find that you can't get rid of previous editions because they invariably leave something important out of the new one. I've found this especially in titles from a certain publisher. White Wolf, hire a librarian, or at least a good editor. Actually, hire me!

There was something I came across at some library-related site but now cannot find where I got it from at all that, while I'm sure proves that some people have WAY too much time on their hands and live to be annoying, was actually hilarious when taken together. I had to go back and check my history at work. Here are some comments of a kamikaze weirdo on eBay. And whilst many were quite unamused by the comments, some of the people get into light banter with him later.

Okay, enough for now. Happy Monday. I actually have work to do. :)

Uppity librarians unite!

A great article dealing with the changing images of librarians, just in time for what the guys over at LIS News call the 'few, the brave, the Toronto-bound'. For those of you who don't keep up with such things, SARS is causing a major headache for Toronto, which has seen all sorts of concerts, conventions, etc. cancelled over fears of contracting the disease. However, the American Library Association is going forward with its plans for a joint conference with the Canadian Library Association, and apparently the Toronto media are grateful. :) I'm not an ALA member--I can get work to shell out money for the MLA, our state association, and our local consortium, but that's about it, and I can't afford ALA and SLA memberships, even though I'd love to join. I couldn't get travel money to go to our San Diego conference and I'm sure Toronto would be right out as well, so due to budget crunches I don't get to go play with thousands of other librarians. But I think the ALA did a great job of working with people who did cancel and those who reinstated their plans, too. Because of my membership in KLA I get a lot of the news releases from ALA, and I'm really impressed with all the work they did (and thank the Gods I wasn't involved with having to plan the meeting!)

Whew

I just slogged through about 300 e-mail messages (okay, so I forgot to check my home e-mail for a few days). I learned that

• Some libraries actually keep collections of cake pans and check them out. Returning them without washing them is subject to a charge akin to a rewind charge. :) Actually, it's a great idea, but I would never have thought of it.
  
• Librarians are notorious for keeping items past their due date. Fortunately, many institutions apparently do not charge their staff overdue fines. Sign me up!
  
• That story about the library worker who was a possible bombing suspect sparked a huge debate regarding elitism, etc. regarding the terms 'librarian', 'libray assistant', 'paraprofessional', 'library worker', etc. I told you librarians were sensitive on the issue. I'm one of those people who believes, however, that we should not sacrifice our library workers without master's degree in the hopes of legitimising ourselves. I've met assistants who were much more knowledgeable and together than some of the MLS holders I've known. And having two LPNs in the family, I know there's a similar controversy on what makes a 'nurse'.
  
• There's a job opening I plan to apply for that pays $25K at .5FTE--no benefits but it looks like telecommuting is possible, so it would work really well with my current job and yet more than double my salary. Wish me luck!
  
• No list is safe from the Nigerian bank scam--even ones that discuss ancient Roman arts and literature.
  
• I have got to find a copy of "The Lustful Turk", a nineteenth-century...titillating novel...that's often mentioned by Barbara Mertz/Barbara Michaels/Elizabeth Peters in her books (yes, all three names are the same person).
  
• The chorus--or, as it was described, a 'herd' of troublemakers (their words, not mine) have banded together to free their pianist in one of those charity lockups.
  
• A SCA event is planned next month at the Kentucky Horse Park in tandem with a Renaissance Faire/the 'All the Queen's Horses' exhibit. I think it was slated for July 26th, but I'll double-check.
  

A few other comments before I head on to bed:

• Do any of you have an ice cream truck that goes around the neighbourhood around 10 pm when all good kids should be inside? I'm beginning to wonder if it's really a front for drug dealing, or such. Actually, nearly every ice cream truck I've heard in Lexington has been late in the evening.
  
• If you are getting ready to go to sleep and have removed your glasses and turned out the lights, only to realise you have not fed your fish, do not freak out if you reach in under the aquarium and touch a warm furry body. Cats seem to like it in there. But man, it scared the bejeesus out of me last night.
  
• I'm wondering how Dwana and her husband will do on their trip to Belterra (sp?), a casino boat that operates out of Northern Kentucky and on the Ohio river. She was very excited about going--they managed to score free hotel rooms for a start. Of course, the last time they went away for a weekend together we had an ice storm. Here's hoping there won't be some strange disaster this time. :)
  
• Yep. The comic is back. I found I was forgetting to read it, and I got an e-mail thanking me for promoting it, so I'm putting it back up. I don't think it was the problem with the loading. I hate to say it, but I think that had to do with the javascript for the Code Amber ticker. Or maybe just having it all going at once.
  
• I had a very strange dream last night where a man piloted a space shuttle mock-up into the high atmosphere only to crash into an Ezekiel-wheel kind of space station and a talking dog and I watched the shuttle streak through the sky afterwards. This dream also had a town with children who were being hunted down by things kind of like that one Buffy episode 'Hush' with the creepy men who stole voices. At some point Brendan Fraser was there and there came a point where he had to sacrifice himself and he asked for some reassurance that it would be worth it and this roulette wheel of the children's names came up showing him who would survive if he died. The kids, meanwhile, were trying to use a giant spot light to keep the things at bay, because they could only come in darkness. Then the hero was sacrificed and every thing was fine. I promise, the only TV I've watched lately has been documentaries on storms, Vikings, etc.--no strange fantasy/science fiction etc. I was so deeply asleep with this one that I overslept this morning and was a little late to work. I must have slept right through the alarm. Anyway, it was very odd. Sometimes I think our brains just squeeze out random Play-Do sorts of images than seem coherent at the time. It's a shame though; if I'm going to dream about Brendan Fraser (who, along with David Duchovny, is sort of my 'type'), you'd think my brain could have found a better use for him. :)
  
• I figured out how to change the size of check boxes in Microsoft Word today. Not a major wah-wah moment, I know, but I've never had a document where it would be useful. I also accidentally at one point inserted multiple rows into a table at once. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how I did it. Any Word gurus out there? I guess that's an easy enough help search. The only problem with being one of those 'hands on' learners is that it's almost impossible to explain how you did something, especially to the kind of computer users who want to write every step down. But it's bad when you're not even sure what you did. :)
  

Well, that's all for now. Good night.

Happy Friday!

1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have?
I've always wanted to but have never visited another country, even though I was a military dependent for 23 years. Then I was married. Then I had pets and other responsibilities. Of course, at the moment, I'd be happy if I could just get in a car and travel to another state occasionally. :)

2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?
I try to be. It's something that took me years to learn. I had that form of low self-esteem where I was so was afraid people wouldn't like me [and yet oblivious that they didn't anyway] and I didn't think my taste was necessarily any better, etc. Now I pretty much tell it like it is, and according to my friend Dwana (who never knew me in the pathetic years) I'm 'direct, but not bitchy', which apparently is a skill that's difficult to develop.

3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? What happened?
No, not really. I think it's important to know the truth about your friends, don't you? And if it's something that you can't live with, then they shouldn't be your friends anymore. I had one person who I thought as a friend who suddenly decided someone she had known and been "friends" with for years--but whom she hadn't known was Jewish--couldn't come into her house (that polluting Jewish influence, I guess). If you'd ever asked me if she were an anti-Semite, I would have said no, there was never any real indication. When my ex finally told me the truth about how he'd never loved me, it hurt, but it was good to finally get the truth out of him. I've had several friends who'd turned out to be stark raving mad. There was the woman who stalked one of our professor's children at daycare and her ex-husband and used a car I'd sold them as a pull toy in the divorce. There was the guy who spouted off about non-electric radios and intelligent viruses who huffed away when we wouldn't bob our heads and agree. And there a lots of things that aren't friendship-ending per se that can help you either empathise with the person more or helps put them into perspective. It just depends on what it is. I recently discovered someone I knew made one sad, pathetic attempt at cow-tipping in high school, and I would never have guessed that. But she was young, stupid, and going along with the crowd. I don't necessarily think it detracts from her basic character, which is very caring. It doesn't automatically put her into the serial killer animal abuser category. (Besides, the cow won. Never try to tip a car when you barely break 100 lbs. If you run very fast, you basically bounce down into muck and everyone laughs at you. I think she learnt her lesson.)

4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?
I would do very well in the wizarding world of Harry Potter. There you have evil to fight but it's not going to cause the pure sanity loss of say, our Cthulhu game. It really wouldn't be fun to be a superhero, like in the Marvel universe, because you'd treated like dirt for being different. There's bias and all the faults of this world in Harry Potter, but you can always beat the Malfoys of the world in Quidditch, etc.

5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted?
I've always wanted to learn to ride a horse. I've always loved horses--but from a distance. It occurs to me that living in the 'horse capital of the world'--or at least one of them; that's a contested title--this is something I could probably do. There are plenty of riding stables around. And while I'm not the size of say, Pat Day, I don't think my size would be a hardship for a horse. My main hurdles are that 1) lessons cost money, 2) Horses really bring out my allergies--much more than dogs and cats, and 3) I'm a little afraid of the height involved and the sheer unpredictability of tandem movement with another creature. But I figure eventually I'll make enough for lessons, I can always take shots, and I should probably wear a helmet if for no other reason than my natural lack of grace. :) So I'll eventually ride, even if I don't do it well.

Settling in for the evening...

I had a fairly uneventful day at work. I had a co-worker who was so happy with some of my work that she hugged me. That was a little freaky, but I find that as I learn to open up more, I not only deal with huggy people better, I'm learning to like it. It was just a banner for her son (who didn't have to go to Iraq, and is coming home), so I think the happiness was mostly for him. But I just patted her on her back and told her I was glad her son was coming home. I'm sure she's relieved. But mostly my day was spent on the computer, filling requests, etc.

Remember the choose-your-own adventure books? Well, the normalcy at work was an interesting backdrop to the drama going on behind the scenes (if you really want to read the drama, check out this). If you'd rather have no drama, click here. Otherwise, read on for a teensy bit of drama. Yup, I'm the person who apparently eats ice cream in a disgusting manner. No, I have no idea how that differs from anyone else's technique. I'm sure somehow it's all my fault in the end, it's always is, isn't it? . I was going to take the 'high road' and ignore this, but since I haven't been able to talk to her, and I don't want to waste any more of my time trying to get some closure, I guess I can go for a little drama of my own. I'll make it short. It's just as well, I suppose, that this has happened. I've been walking on eggshells for far too long around Zabet, who was the last of a long line of people with similar issues in my life. By way of illustration, she once sold me some videotapes that were going to a garage sale but would not even let me touch a book that was going into the sale because, in her words, 'I had enough books'. And that's a fairly minor example. In the years I've known her she has driven away nearly everyone she's ever been close to, and then blamed them--and blamed me for not going away, even though I would have at any time if actually asked-yet refused to get therapy and started to truly despise me once I did. She would often decide that current events, TV shows--anything she does not have control over in the conversation--is verboten in her house, but you wouldn't know until she blew up and told you not to speak about something. When I asked for help made me a project she could micromanage. She once literally took a keyboard out of my hands and then redesigned my blog because it didn't suit her otherwise. And yeah, I let her, so I suppose I deserved it. So then she had yet another blow-up (and for once, I didn't lay down and take it, so now what I thought was a nine-year friendship is over, which given the fact that despite the fact that I have cared for her, this by her own admission is not how she felt) just because I made a comment that a particularly disturbing dream was both sick and creative (let's face it, dreams are the product of our own minds). Instead of calling or otherwise contacting me directly she ripped her comments off her blog and had a temper tantrum and then posted the aforementioned diatribe. Considering at any time when she's had problems she has actively pushed everyone around her, I think that I did my best, considering that yes, I was dealing with issues in my own life, and quite frankly had other responsibilities to people who did not bring anything down on themselves or abuse me, and she supposedly had other great friends to help her. Friends she later treated like dirt and pushed away. She had singular moments of empathy for other people, but they were rare. When the Oklahoma City bombing took place, she was like, 'well, so? I didn't know anyone there'. She really only relates to cats well, and even then, it has to be on her terms. She takes it personally if they're not loving back. Despite the fact that I told myself she was growing up and getting better and defended her at her worst on many, many occasions, it was ultimately not worth it. When she felt she was left out I made time and this only led to her apparently despising me. She had done a lot for me but only on her terms, at her whim, and apparently without remembering all I've done for her in return. Sigh. I wonder if anyone has done a study on "break-ups by blogging"? I tried to phone several times, but could not reach her. I'm sure she's more comfortable with this. And before anyone cries foul, I have comments and she's welcome to leave whatever accusations she'd like on them, because I can ignore the irrational and not take it personally. Well, I wish her well (and therapy), and Patrick as well, since she apparently speaks for him. I hope they get what they truly want in life. I'm just not sure they'll be happy with it. And I do hope that he draws the line on occasion; she once told me his mom treats his dad like a remote-control carrying boy, and she does the exact same thing to Patrick.

Now for a little less drama.

Today I gave blood. This is always an adventure, but today I was prepared. I raided our lab, clinic, and occupational therapy departments for large latex-free gloves, cor-ban (the stick-to-itself bandage they use to wrap you up at the end), and a tourniquet. You'd think that if they're sending a bloodmobile to a hospital that is virtually latex-free, and they themselves are at risk for developing latex allergy, that they'd have better supplies. But their nitrile gloves are normally available just in small, which sucks for the phlebotomist who gets me. They used to have to put a blood pressure cuff on me instead of a tourniquet. Last time we went with paper tape since they didn't have cor-ban without latex, so they used paper tape and I had a bad bruise for awhile. This time, I had everything put together before I went in, and they were pleasantly surprised. I was halfway afraid I'd be deferred due to low blood iron or such, but thankfully, no. My blood pressure and temp were actually a bit low, but the blood drop sank right down the solution. They always have to ask my occupation because apparently 'librarian' is not one of the standard professions they have in their database, and I think it always surprises them that a hospital would have a librarian. There were new questions (there are always). Last time the new questions were about smallpox shots. This time it was about SARS. There are some benefits to never having left the country or having...ahem...had sex for awhile, because it makes it so much quicker to answer the questions. The guy who took my blood had 'never met anyone with a latex allergy'. Aaron? Are you reading this? Hello, don't they give you all inservices? Maybe you should introduce yourself to the day shift? :) The nice thing is I didn't bruise at all this time. Maybe that scouting 'be prepared' thing has some merit.

After work I paid bills and bought a Father's Day card for my stepfather. Oooh. The first year as an official stepfather. Well, I adopted John awhile ago, of course. But he deserves a doubly-good day this year because he's now got his youngest out of high school and peace may eventually reign. Then I came home and made some phone calls and caught up on some game-related posts. I've been listening to a Geographic special on the sinking of the Lusitania whilst blogging. Now I think I'm going to do a little reading and head to bed a little early...of course, if I do that, I won't be doing the F5 at midnight. Oh, well, sometimes there are more important things than being first.