3 am and I'm wide awake

And not sleepy or tired.  I think I'm definitely hypomanic,  triggered by my menstrual cycle.  I was depressed for days prior to my menses and especially during,  and as it almost finished I felt almost euphoric in comparison,  with every detail seeming to matter suddenly,  no need for sleep,  talking quickly,  thoughts racing, feeling sensual and hyperaware.  Yep,  classic symptoms.  I'm in my third day of that. Perimenopause is going to be great and yes,  I'm being a bit sarcastic. If my hormones shifts are going to cause mood swings,  and they have at the very least caused dysphoria during menses most of my life,  then I'm in for an interesting monthly ride.

I wonder

If the hormone changes I've had over the past month have tipped me into a mild bipolar cycle.  First I was blah and lifeless,  now I have all this energy,  and YKWIA was saying the other day that I was talking a mile a minute,  which could be push of speech.  That could explain the lack of appetite,  too. Hmm... Maybe I have something to bring up to my doctor next time see him. My meds may need some adjusting.

Despite that, I'm feeling much better in general today

One, my hormones are probably settling down now that my period has ended, so no more crying fits for little reason. Two, I had blessed caffeine. I know soda doesn't has as much as coffee, but apparently three days of no soda equalled headaches and extreme lethargy for me, whereas today, when I was able to get fountain drinks at work with the promise to pay for them on payday, I was positively bouncy and talking a mile a minute. So I guess it's safe to say I'm addicted to that little bit of caffeine.

I found out today that one of my co-workers in scheduling will be out for two to six weeks, so I'm going to fill in again twice a week starting next week, for awhile. I think I can get everything done, still get to my appointments, and help them out. We'll see. I'll most likely be in checkout most of the time, for about five hours a day.

Decidedly cranky today

My patience with people has worn thin today, although I don't know if it was evident at work. YKWIA and A definitely knew. So I'm at home alone after running some errands with/for them just keeping to myself and doing some computer maintenance/set up. Part of it is hormones. I'm also more tired than I really ought to be, I suppose. My blood sugar has been doing pretty well, so it's not that. I think I'll take a short nap and then get up and scan something for a friend and do some more computer stuff. I really am going to try not to sleep the night away.

Oh, I saw my ex today. I'm not sure if he saw or recognised me. Apparently he still works at the store. I'd gone there before work for something and he's the one who unlocked the door when they opened. I had not seen him since they moved the store and had wondered whether he was still there. Afterwards, when I was back in the car, the radio had Kelly Clarkson's song that goes, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....' I think we would both agree that it was appropriate. :) We had a very toxic relationship that has scarred me even though the divorce was 21 years ago. I am so glad it ended.

Okay, that's it for now. I'll try to write something more interesting later. :)

Odd

'Cuddle hormone' makes men more empathetic

A nasal spray can make men more in tune with other people's feelings, say a team of German and UK researchers.

They found that inhaling the "cuddle hormone" oxytocin made men just as empathetic as women.

The study in 48 volunteers also showed that the spray boosted the ability to learn from positive feedback.

Okay, back to the notes.