So on November 11th

My boss came into my office, and among other things said there had been complaints about my plants, that my office was a jungle and that they were afraid it would draw bugs. I needed to get them out of there. 2/3 of them are toxic to cats, and we have a kitten who's about seven months old who hasn't learned not to eat them yet. I wound up packing everything up and with the help of three co-workers and a couple of carts from materials, took them out to the car and took the majority to a pharmacy I go to with a nice southern window that is run by people who love plants. At least I can see them sometimes. One plant I kept but then checked the toxicity lists and decided that I needed to take it that weekend as well was the peace lily that the hospital gave me on the occasion of my mother's funeral. So I was pretty heartbroken. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. I was also told I didn't dress up enough, even though I've worn the same style of clothes for years and considering I had about 68 cents in my account at the time, certainly couldn't go out and get a new wardrobe. I was also told I would be losing my office, not because of anything I did, but because someone else needed it. I'm not as upset about that--it was the way it was told to me as an offhanded remark, that I couldn't have kept the plants anyway because I'd be in a cubicle away from the light, that was hurtful.

The plants were, of course, what bothered me the most. Some I'd had for years. The shamrocks brought a lot of joy to people in the library for years--they were constantly admiring them. They're deadly to cats. I've made peace with the loss of the plants now, as it's been 13 days. And I was able to get some plants home--I now have 12 orchids, three African violets, three Thanksgiving cacti, a red velvet Echeverria, some aloes, and a bamboo plant at home. I'm not sure I've got them where they can get enough light, so I'll be monitoring it.

On the same day I got the bad news, there was a concern that the kitten, who dearly likes orchid bark, had eaten some and gotten a blockage, but that turned out to not be the case. Still, I removed all the bark that I could from the house, and once I got paid I ordered some sphagnum moss, and I spend some time yesterday repotting 9 of the orchids with moss instead of bark, topping off another couple, and repotting the aloes. So we're bark-free.

As far as my greatest concern from that meeting, it was what to do about the clothes. Now I have wonderful co-workers and work-friends. I had no less than four people contribute clothes that were either bought by them, repurposed by them, or repurposed by friends of theirs. One brought a huge bag over to the house full of khakis and nice blouses. I went from having five sweaters and a couple of velvet pants for the winter to a whole wardrobe, and I appreciate all the help immensely. It reminds me that the majority of people I know are good, and while I was feeling a little bullied by my boss (I'm not convinced anyone complained, I'm thinking she just may not have liked what I had).

So I'm dressing up some now, there are no plants or shelves in my office (it feels empty, but I've rearranged my desk now that I have more space, so everything isn't as spread out). I should lose the office around the beginning of the year, and I've come to terms with that. They're going to do some alterations to the cubicles since we deal with confidential info.

It was a hard couple of weeks. But this week has been better than the one before. I got a lot done and one of my co-workers helped me get caught up on a lot of offsite requests. I was useless for a couple of days after the talk with the boss and got behind. But I'm back in the black now, so to speak. Next week I'll have to really work on the surgery pre-authorizations as I'm only three weeks out and a lot have been added on. I try to be four weeks out, although I'm required to be out two. And nothing in our talk was about my performance or anything. It was all about my personal choices. I did what I could to comply quickly. And it turns out my boss is leaving next month, so I'm just going to try to keep a low profile till that happens.

One of my co-workers hit the nail on the head as to why the plant removal devastated me. Surrounding myself with nature is my way of beating stress, and I deal with insurance companies and scheduling with outside bureaucracies. I took all the little knick-knacks that were on the shelves (and the shelves) away, as well as the stones I'd had. There's a clock and a few motivational sayings on small plaques, as well as the wall art that shows any real personality to my office. The wall art will eventually have to go away when I move. But for now, it cheers me.