Friday Fun

Got these snippets of medical humour in e-mail today and laughed, and laughed; I decided I'd needed some humour today, and maybe you do, too. Haven't a clue as to their veracity. Does it matter? PS The one about the Kentucky woman is a classic. We've made up all sorts of jokes with that product because of where we live.

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in
the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that
there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

* * * * * * * * * * * *

At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.

Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

* * * * * * * * * * *

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
had died of a "massive internal fart."

Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

* * * * * * * * *

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.
I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your
right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your
left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was
silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and
discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing
there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the
exam.

Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

* * * * * * * * * * * *

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long
have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
answered, "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was
alive."

Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

* * * * * * * * * *

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your
breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then
asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY
Jelly."

Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

* * * * * * * * * * * *

And Finally . . . . .

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed
performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady
upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and
further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said,
"I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song
you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."