Unshelved by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
comic strip overdue media

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Ah, that's better

Have you seen this?


Poodwaddle.com

The first time I took it, I accidentally put in that I was five inches tall rather than 5' 5". My BMI was in the 7 thousands! It said I had a half a year to live. But this is better. I should still exercise and eat better, though.

Poodwaddle Life Clock

Summary
Your Age: 43.4 years
Projected Life Span (total years you will live): 74.5
Projected Life Expectancy (years remaining): 31.1

Life Expectancy Factors
The average life span for your region is 78. Your life span is 3.5 years less than average due to your medical conditions and lifestyle.

GENDER: +2.5 years
Women live 5 years longer than men. Gloat if you like.

FAMILY HISTORY: -1 years
Your family history puts you at a greater risk of the same conditions.

SMOKING: 2 years
Since you are not a smoker you gain 2 years over the average life span (15-25 years longer than smokers). If you recently stopped smoking it will take 10 years for the risk of lung cancer to return to that of a non-smoker and 15 for heart attack risk to return to normal.

DRINKING: 0 years
You could benefit from drinking one or two glasses of red wine per day [But I don't like red wine. Could they put it in a pill?--Ed.]

WEIGHT: -10 years (BMI: 45.8)
Your BMI score classifies you as overweight. Being overweight raises your risk of heart disease, diabetes, cancers, sleep apnea, osteoarthritis, gallbladder disease, and so many other conditions. Now put down the twinky and go do some exercise.

HEALTH: -5 years
Hypertension, high cholesterol, and high blood sugar are like a ticking time bomb with a busted clock. You don't know when it's going off but if you don't do something it's gonna blow up in your face.

DIET: 0 years
I won't lecture you on what foods you should be eating. I'm sure you already know. Is 0 years of life worth the sacrifice? Your choice.

EXERCISE: 0 years
Exercising 20-40 minutes each day can add many years to your life.

HAPPINESS: 4 years
As Emerson said, "Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." Keep smiling :)

EDUCATION: 1 years
Not surprisingly, higher education equals longer life.

DRIVING: 1 years
You're no fool. The average person has a 30% chance of being in a serious accident in their lifetime but your odds are lower than average.

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” - James Dean

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