My mom constantly dieted. She was on Atkins back in the 70s at one point and was so skinny she looked anorexic. I remember desserts of sugar-free jello powder whipped into sugar-free Cool Whip. She was worried about my weight and put me on Tab and Fresca (sugar-free sodas) at age 8. I grew up with an unhealthy relationship with food. I can still remember stealing leftovers and hiding my eating, and I thought I was the fattest thing ever. I binged on apples and bread as a teen. I really just needed a growth spurt here and there and looking at old pictures, it's obvious that while bigger than some, I was not really fat, and I was pretty active. I biked across the desert for two miles, for example, just to go swimming in the base pool. I walked or biked everywhere, after all. But I grew up fatphobic and still struggle with that, even though I am fat now, and I have to catch myself judging others and especially myself. We never really came to terms with our shared experience with food, though, and with her death, never will.
My mother judged my body as a girl. Years later, we finally understand each other
A good memoir regarding generational dieting and negative weight stereotypes and the harm it does, check out The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl by Shauna Reid.
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