F5

1. How many times have you truly been in love? One. Unrequited, I'm afraid. It should have meant better poetry, but I was never great at writing coherent verse.

2. What was/is so great about the person you love(d) the most? He was everything I wanted in a mate, except straight.

3. What qualities should a significant other have? An ability to love deeply, a sense of humour, a willingness to actually talk things out, and the courage to face the world together.

4. Have you ever broken someone's heart? I don't think so. Their lust, maybe, but not their hearts. I have actually done the 'it's not you, it's me' thing and was quite sincere, despite the fact that she was quite disturbing in her own right. But then, I think that's the best way to let someone who scares the bejeesus out of you know you're not interested in dating, don't you think?

5. If there was one thing you could teach people about love, what would it be? Love isn't something you can force. It just is, sometimes at the worst times. But without the ability to love, we are nothing.

Ah...

Well, I just spent three hours adding links, fine-tuning the new template, etc. I don't know if you all will like it, but I hope so. It makes my life a little easier, and I think I'll keep it this way for awhile. I've had educational programming on and so I've run the gamut of tarantulas/centipedes (okay, so I'm the weirdo who likes spiders), arson investigations, daring rescues, and feral children.

On the tarantula show, they waited several hours for a tarantula to moult, then filmed it being eaten by a centipede. I just couldn't do this film-nature-without-interfering-at-all. I'm sorry. I know the centipede, lioness, whatever has a right to a meal, but I just don't know if I could do that.

I was talking to a co-worker earlier about something I saw on Leno (okay, I don't watch a lot of TV, but I do when I'm sick). Jay and Harrison Ford were talking about motorcycles. HF had 9, Jay had something like 80.

You know, I'm not saying anything about a person's right to use their hard-earned money to buy what they want. But, it seemed to me that both of these men were a little embarrassed by that. And you know, I would be.

Having 80 motorcycles or even 80 socks is a little obscene, don't you think? On one hand, I guess it's no different from books, or stamps, or other things you could collect. And I suppose there are books and stamps, etc. that cost as much as a motorcycle, certainly. I'm sure both of these entertainers give to charity. I guess part of me just wonders about a society where my city can't even pay a living wage to our police, firefighters, teachers, bus drivers, or sanitary workers--people we depend on every day, and a person can get millions throwing a ball or making people laugh. It's a little odd.

On another note, Harrison Ford was really weird last night--almost creepy. I don't know if he's just like that on Leno or in other interviews, too. He seemed nervous, moving a lot, rubbing his hands on the chair, etc. It made me almost think of Parkinson's or OCD.

My co-worker and I discussed things we would do with a lot of money. I told her about the story in National Geographic about the Dalit (Untouchables in India), and about the little girls who are abandoned, etc. I have to admit, if I was financially stable (not necessarily wealthy, but at least stable), I'd adopt a child, either from here or overseas. I think one of the most important things we can do is make a difference in a child's life, and there are lots of kids out there who are labelled (for whatever reason) 'unadoptable'. They have medical problems, , have behaviour issues, or are older. (I actually do best with kids, say 6-12, so that wouldn't be an issue for me.) I don't believe any child should be 'thrown away'. I'm not sure I have the training or disposition for some types of care, but I wish I could at least pay for someone to get it. I'd like to take a child who'd been abandoned in India and raise her away from the social constrictions they would otherwise have. I suppose some might find that to be somehow evil--to break a child's ties with an original culture or ethnicity. But it wouldn't have to be a complete break. My co-worker said something about the 'Prime Directive'. I said that this was different; humans being treated worse than animals was different than interfering in an alien culture.

I know, as philosophy goes, this is really fuzzy. I'm still working it out. And it's unfortunately likely to be purely academic, anyway.

Well, I think it's time to drag myself away for now.

But wait...

Okay, now everything's showing, and I didn't do a damn thing. Gremlins. It must be. :)

Correction. Make that one day at a time.

Hmmm....

Okay, I don't understand. :(

Just redid the template (yes, folks, again). This one is courtesy of some of the new ones on Blogger, which are not as cutesy, but I liked this one, and it should load quicker. However, now I'm only showing one post at a time, even though it's supposed to be seven days' worth. What gives? Is it the new template? The update to the system? Arrrgghhhh!!!

Never say you're feeling better until you actually go back to work...

So I still felt crummy yesterday, so I slept through most of it. Zabet and her hubby brought me bread, peanut butter (choosy friends choose Jif), a Fazoli's Freezi, and Hershey's Special Dark. Thank you!

So, I'm back to work today and taking just a bit of a break after playing catch-up. I'm still a little sniffly and a lot tired, but I'm here, talking to a co-worker about Celtic punk bands. I'll check back later.

PS

This test was recommended by one of my fellow 'next generation librarians'. My geek result was: 57.59369% - Extreme Geek. No surprise, huh? I _was_ surprised at some of the questions. I mean, Russian literature as a measure of geekiness? Or that being a librarian in and of itself put you up a notch in terms of geekiness? (Okay, laugh all you want, but I didn't know.) But at least it's also true that virtually every person I get along with is also a geek. Even the ones who would deny it--at least according to this test. :)

Well, I guess it was a cold...

that my mom had, because I spent all today home in bed with the same thing (guess I shouldn't have hugged her Saturday, or at least maybe sprayed her with Lysol in the tradition of my voice teacher). I checked with her this evening and she'd been still been off work yesterday but was heading back tonight. I guess it's better than meningitis, though. Still, she must have been pretty badly off; she almost never calls in sick. She got worse after they dropped me off Saturday and couldn't get any sleep because she couldn't hardly breathe. That's one thing I have in my favour; my little CPAP machine helps with that.

I'm feeling a lot better than I did last night and this morning (for one thing, I can type and it almost doesn't hurt). For another, the front that came through last night has gone on its merry way. And I had lots of rest. But it's been a long time since I hurt that much. In addition to hacking, snotting, sneezing, and upper respiratory stuff, I woke up this morning literally so sore that touching the phone to call into work hurt. I felt like the evil judge in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?--rolled over by a steamroller but trying to stand up anyway. I slept solidly until 1 pm and then on and off throughout the afternoon. Somewhere along the way my cat figured out a way to distribute his weight evenly so I didn't jump and he became a very nice, vibrating (purring), heating pad. Keeping the CPAP machine going seemed to help keep my breathing clear, too. At some point my sense of smell came back and I headed off to the bathtub for a long, soothing bath--apparently I must have been perspiring while I slept and was getting a little stinky. I've slept all but about five hours of the last twenty-eight, and I'll probably head back in a few minutes. I still have a headache, sore throat, am tired, and feel feverish, but my head seems a little clearer. I've done pretty well about eating and drinking, so for once I think I managed to not get dehydrated. I had some spicy spring rolls with tofu and Thai spices that helped my sinuses, too. :) I was able to visit on the phone for a little tonight, so I don't have my standard whiney 'I'm home all by myself with no one to love me' spiel. I just wish they could send soup through the phone. I am so craving matzo ball soup. I guess I shouldn't complain. At least I had spring rolls, and a house full of all the necessities except bread and peanut butter. :) Here's to feeling better tomorrow! (Oh, and I hope this makes some sense. I've typed and retyped several times. My command of English seems more tenuous than usual. I think everything's spelt right finally. It must be the fever).

How's your weekend going?

I went home to Stanford/Danville yesterday. My stepfather, John, came and picked me up. He brought some disks I'd backed up files on when I upgraded to XP that couldn't be read (I didn't realise you had to close the session at the time). John had managed to recover them, so I now have a lot of my documents and music that I'd lost. Yea! Then we went to Stanford (about 45 minutes away) and woke up my mom (she'd worked the night before) and went over to my grandmother's in Danville. We had a great dinner and played with my grandmother's dog (miniature Doberman pinscher and possibly Dachshund). I gave Ma her birthday present (photo album/photo frame/notebook set) and we went down to my grandfather's grave to check the flowers and visit. I left the recording of 'Amazing Grace' I'd planned to play; I'll have to bring it next time.

I'm a little worried about my mom. She wasn't feeling well yesterday at all. She was really tired, kind of like a deflated balloon. Everytime she coughed she turned really red. She felt really tight in her breathing (she's got asthma too and also early signs of emphysema--and still smokes, grrr). She was kind of clammy and just didn't feel hardly like--and this is a quote--'even having her clothes on' because they bothered her. Granted, it could be the start of a cold or just bad allergies (everybody's had awful allergies lately, and all the rain has made the mould skyrocket), and her sugar was a little high, but it's worrisome because they had a patient at her workplace who tested positive for the germ that causes meningitis. They've got two of her co-workers out right now--one sick in the hospital and one (a cousin of ours) at home in quarrantine. The nursing home has two buildings, and while my mom doesn't work in the one that he'd been in, she had been in his room when he was coughing and having trouble. Everyone at work got a one-dose prophylactic of Cipro (an antibiotic) to help ward it off. It sounds like if she's getting sick, she's coming down with a virus, and I'm pretty sure it's bacterial meningitis that's the issue, because it's more virulent (and the antibiotic wouldn't have done anything to a virus). I went ahead and checked with the CDC when I got home and sent her the symptoms so she'd know what to watch for and asked her in no uncertain terms to go to the doctor if she started getting any neck pain, etc. (Sometimes it helps to have a hypochondriac medical librarian in the family. Of course, I also have all these health care workers who tend to put off going to the doctor!) I'm going to ask our employee health nurse tomorrow if there's anything more she should be doing.

It seems that whenever I visit my mom, whether she's had some rest or not, she's having problems with her health. She's only fifty-five. I have to admit, watching her cough this weekend, I really worry I may lose her. My grandfather, who admittedly lived for two decades after his emphysema diagnosis, spent a great deal of time on oxygen and was miserable towards the end. I don't want to see my mom in that situation. It's a little scary. And my grandmother just turned 79; she's lived the longest of any of her family, and is starting to talk like she won't be much longer in the world. She's diabetic, although she's looking pretty good lately. But I've noticed people in their last years tend to know. My mom and my grandmother are the only family I have left in the world (well, not counting my father, but he's been out of my life for years). John's a much better father, really, and I've pretty much adopted him as such. But I do also have friends who are as close as family, and that's comforting.

Speaking of which, John told me an amusing story on the way down to Danville. Well, I suppose it's only amusing because no one got hurt. His mom is 81 and she has a friend the same age. They've known each other since they were about ten. They went to the cemetery last weekend and there were some steps. John's mom wasn't sure she should try to go up it, since there was no handrail. She's had knee replacements and the other lady has had a hip replacement. But they decided to hold on to each other and made it up the steps, went to the graves, etc. On the way back down the steps they both fell--one on each side of the step. They both laid there for a moment trying to decide if they'd killed themselves, then started laughing themselves senseless. John's mom didn't think she wanted to try the steps again and risk falling, so she started scooching down the steps on her butt. Her friend was, like, 'you'll tear up your pants' and his mom was just saying 'I don't care, I'm just getting down the stairs!' So then they both got down and stood up and had a chuckle about how if they'd just gone and died people would have just shaken their heads at these two dead biddies on either side of a cemetery stairway. [At their age, I guess humour's the way to get through the day.] I have to admit, if a person's going to go, having your best friend of seven decades with you might be the way to go; at at least they weren't in dresses with their bloomers hanging out so they could have a little dignity. :)

John's son Robert graduated from high school the other night. I'm not sure who worked harder to get him through (I suspect John, who's all but had to sit on him to keep him in school), but there was a collective sigh from the household. Next step: real life!

Today we played Cthulhu and had a nice one-day adventure, the type with some strange monster crushing people on an English moor and a giant dog appearing as a death omen. You've got to love those, and even though we had Deep Ones (nasty fish-like men who live in the sea), none of us got speargunned through the groin (I kid you not, that happened once--another player's character and mine just happened to be close enough in a fight to get skewered together. Try to explain that wound to an emergency room. It's a good thing it's just fiction.

Warning...this may offend. But it's hilarious.

I was on FanFiction.net with my friend Brenda and we came across this gem. It's a verse retelling of the story of Sodom/Lot and his daughters. If you don't care for the subject matter, keep in mind it's drawn straight from the Bible. It's just a little more humourous. I do have to admit, it did hurt my brain. I'd never think to write R-rated takeoffs of the Bible.