The sun is setting...

Happy Beltane!!!

Okay, having an ant run across your face

Right under your eyes,  so you see a dark shadow quickly go by and the feeling is of something crawling on you,  this is not acceptable.

I know,  ants are good creatures with benefits to the environment.  Poison is not.  But you know what?

This means war.

Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!

I read about this several days ago, and it left me in disbelief and anger

It still does. Read for yourself:

Punished after reporting rape at Brigham Young University

"I felt so angry. I mean, here she had an over-20-page police report with every little detail of the rape," Barney said. "I feel almost as violated by the school as I do by my rapist."

Barney said she's now facing backlash from BYU for not answering all its questions. Her attorney told her not to talk about details of her case until after the trial of her alleged rapist this fall. However, the university won't let her register for future classes until she cooperates with the Honor Code office.

"They like to say a victim of sexual assault will never be referred to the Honor Code office for being a victim of sexual assault," said Barney.

"But they would've never known about these Honor Code allegations had I chosen not to report my rape. And I think that's what bothers me and makes me feel so betrayed."

This is absolutely wrong. I hope the school evaluates it's Honour Code and makes changes in how it handles the cases of victims of sexual assault.

Not quite science fiction anymore

Sony To Put A Camera On Your Eyeball

You probably think cameras couldn’t get much more convenient than the one built into your smartphone, but Sony has just submitted a patent application for a camera small enough to fit within a contact lens worn directly on the human eyeball.

It’s actually not the first time we’ve seen a contact lens camera device. Google filed a similar patent in 2012, but Sony’s device adds new features and control methods.

Usually around here, it's squirrels that mess with the electricity

Pop goes the weasel as Hadron Collider shuts down

A weasel shut down the world's most powerful particle smasher when it wandered onto a 66,000-volt transformer and caused a short circuit, Europe's physics lab CERN said Saturday. The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was halted "following technical issues, including a power cut due to the passage of a weasel on a high voltage electrical transformer," CERN spokesman Arnaud Marsollier told AFP.

Apparently bunnies are not the only ones with big gnashy teeth.

This sickens me

2 toddlers found tied, chained in backyard, Texas deputies say

A 2-year-old boy was "chained to the ground as if he was a dog," he said. "There was no slack in the chain. His pants were down. You could tell he'd been here for a while. And then a short distance away, a 3-year-old girl who was tied to a door with a dog leash who was just exhausted."

The deputies moved quickly to release the two youngsters, but their work was not finished. Inside the house, they discovered six children ranging in age from 10 months to 13 years, the release said. There were no adults on site to care for them.

"To describe this as disturbing is an understatement," Keith said. "It makes you wonder what somebody's thinking. How could they do this?"

Early Friday morning, the parents of the six children who were inside returned to the house, the sheriff's office said.

The mother, Porucha Phillips, 34 was believed to be responsible for caring for the two toddlers, authorities said. She was charged with injury to a child by omission with serious bodily injury and Injury to a child by omission with bodily injury and is being held in the Bexar County Jail.

Deputies haven't said they're searching for the parents of the toddlers found in the backyard.

Child Protective Services was called in. The toddlers were taken to the Children's Hospital of San Antonio and are recovering, though the girl is in intensive care, Keith said.

CPS said one of them has a fractured right arm and wrist and the other has superficial injuries including abrasions and scarring, CNN affiliate KSAT reported. Six children have been cleared for foster care.

So this is troubling

Baghdad in State of Emergency After Supporters of al Sadr Storm Green Zone

If you have been reading for awhile, I was very opposed to the Iraq war, and while no admirer of Saddam Hussein, I worried about the destabilisation of the region and the number of people (Iraqi, American, and others) who would die. It's actually a war I predicted the night George W. Bush was first elected, long before 9/11.

So anyway, I wasn't for toppling the Iraqi government and putting in one after years of war, but I also never thought we got the job we apparently set out to do far enough along to stabilise the region, hence the problems between Sunnis and Shi'ites, the Islamic State incursions, all that.

I do support democracy, and believe the people should have a true say in their leaders--not determined by warlords, or clerics, for that matter. I'll admit I don't know enough about the parties involved to know who would be better. I will try to educate myself on that. But...I fear for chaos and death, and my thoughts are with the people of Iraq tonight, for the foreigners stationed there in embassies, humanitarian groups, and yes, the military. Despite being anti-war, I am a staunch supporter of our military men and women--I was raised in the Air Force, after all, the child of the Vietnam War.

I do wish there were more effort among the Middle Eastern and Gulf nations to stabilise the area of Iraq and Syria. Western meddling is certainly not appreciated, but it just seems to me that most of those nations in the area are concerned about their own goals and not about making the area better for everyone.

Taking a break

Listening to Chris Isaak's 'Wicked Game'--that man's voice is pure sex.

The living room was where I decided to start, especially with my penchant for opening the blinds and windows and the fact you can see right in without the sheers I had up for so long. I've done very well at getting it in order, and except for some minor things like dusting and vacuuming, it looks much better. I can actually sit on the couch, which I tend to use as a landing area when I come in (yeah, I know, that's not what it's for). I think I'll do those little things that are left and decide this room is my main project for the day. There's no sense in trying to do everything today. I have part of tomorrow, after all (I'll work on the bathroom, which just needs a once-over, and the kitchen). I will try to put my little bit of laundry together tonight so it's ready for tomorrow. Monday evening after work I'll tackle the dining room. Tuesday a friend has an appointment, so I'll probably be over there. Wednesday I should be able to work on the bedroom, as Thursday is another evening appointment for him. Friday's 'Grimm', assuming we watch it that night. We will be playing next week unless something comes up with Brenda's meetings, so that leaves Saturday, possible, to do anything else left.

The ants appear to be taking the bait. Yay! So often they put those things down at work and the ants ignore it.

Well, one nice thing

I have reached my 60 minutes of daily activity goal, and surpassed it by 24 minutes, and it's not quite 5:30 pm. I have also recovered, and made it through a fairly large grocery run without feeling run down, tired, or short of breath. I rested a lot between exercising and say, 2 pm, then went over to my friends' house, went through the grocery list, took A to the store, got a fair amount of groceries for me (yesterday's run was a small one; now I have enough for several days), put everything away, and then left them to a walk now that the rain has stopped (at least for now), and came home and put my groceries away. I think I finally feel caffeinated and ready to do stuff around here. The rain's really made me sleepy all day. I've put on some peppy music, and now I'm going to make a battle plan of what I want to get accomplished today. Tomorrow we decided to cancel the game, although Brenda could have played, so we can go through some things and get them ready for Monday. YKWIA and I are also going to watch a movie I have out from Netflix, The Wicker Tree, which is done by the same folks who came up with the original The Wicker Man, which I love. It will be interesting to see what they've done with this. It'll be a good thing to watch for Beltane/May Day. :)

When we were coming from the store, I saw across the road in a grassy place a crow trying to attack a bunny rabbit, the latter of which channelled the rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and basically it jumped at the crow and told it to f*ck off. I'm thinking it was a mother rabbit protecting her babies. I do love the bunny with the big gnashy teeth from the movie. YKWIA has a stuffed animal version of it.

I did get ant bait, so we'll see if it'll work. It's the stuff made by Hot Shot. I hate using poison, but hey, I'm tired of the little bugs crawling all over the place (and me).

Okay, time to create a battle plan.

That took way too long to recover

I fell asleep while propping my ankle up, and slept for about an hour and a half. It was good rest, mind you, but not what I planned for my day. I got up at 11:30 am, took a shower, and headed over to Kroger for some soda so I could get some caffeine in my system. I know, coffee would be better, and I actually have some coffee and those little Land O'the Lakes Mini-Moos, but I only imbibe coffee occasionally, to be honest. I'm just not into it.

I managed to find a parking spot that may have been a 10-minute spot (it wasn't marked as such, but there were several in that lane that were, so they may have meant it to be). I just ran in, got three items, and was out in probably 6-8 minutes, so it was okay. Driving back actually took longer, since I went the back way to avoid the traffic and got caught just as a light turned red.

I'm eating lunch at the computer, which I probably shouldn't do, as I'm still finding an occasional ant on the computer desk (or even me). But I'm being careful of not getting anything into the laptop keyboard. When I go back to the store with A, I need to make a list, including snacks for tomorrow's game and ant bait, because they're just not going away. Don't get me wrong, I like ants and insects, but not when they're invading my home and food. There's a whole line of them along the window sill right now.

I'm not sure when we're going to the store. They were going to spend some time together and do errands out on the bus (which is good, but it's raining, so they probably are getting wet). The rain is still making me sleepy, and I've feeling a little overwhelmed by the house. Maybe I need to break down what needs to be done on a pad of paper and go from there. And I need to remind myself that it doesn't all have to be done today. I can spend some time reading or listening to music or watching DVDs and that's fine, too.

This was taken

Right after I finished the bike ride.  Don't I look thrilled?  There was another the tracker didn't save that had me looking a bit like a scared prairie dog.  :)  My ankle's feeling better now.  I have it propped up and I'm in front of the fan.  I'll take a shower and start my day properly in a little while,  starting with some caffeine.

One good thing,  my tracker (Samsung Health)  is saying I'm at 60% of my daily activity goal and it isn't even 10 am . Usually I hit about 50% around 1 pm.

I'm not sure if I just kicked butt

or if it kicked mine, but the first thing I did this morning (when I woke up before my alarm, feeling rested) was open the windows, put on my workout clothes, and then I headed over to the gym. I walked at about 2.0-2.5 mph for fifteen minutes, and while my heart rate went up to where it should be and I had a light sweat, that's where you want to be, so I was doing pretty well, so well, in fact, that I decided to go on the recumbent bike for another 15 minutes, mostly at 15 mph.

That was probably too much at one time. I haven't been active, so I need to start small, either divide them up in 10 minute blocks or do one or the other, because I got to where I could barely talk (which isn't good), I had sweat pouring down my hair, even in my ears (my headphones were slipping a lot), and I felt like I couldn't do it any more. But I did persevere, finished it, and then came back outside, where it was blissfully about 58 degrees, and walked home. I was doing fine until I came down the stairs, and had sudden pain in my ankle, the one that broke a few years ago when I was hit by a car. I carefully made it down the stairs with it hurting, got into the house, tried to take off my shoes, and it was doing the same. I got the shoes off, got some water, gingerly, and now I'm sitting down and taking a bit of a rest. I took the phone and plugged it into a speaker, so the same playlist is going as when I was exercising. I feel sweaty and stinky, and desperately need a shower. But I don't want my ankle going out from under me there, so I'm going to just sit here a bit and just take my meds and eat breakfast. I had felt energised after walking, now I feel drained. But I did reach my goal.

My physical therapist had suggested walking as a way to increase the strength of my core; my podiatrist suggested the bike because there's not as much pressure on the foot bones and muscles. But I think the bike was what did me in, and not because I'd already been on the treadmill--I think the rotation made my ankle hurt, and I had some trouble with my knees, too. I think I'll try each separately and see how I do, and if the bike is still an issue, just stick with walking, which is still fairly low-impact, good for your back, and I know I can do for awhile before I'm in danger of hurting myself.

I'd say the masque was a success, since I woke up early and felt good. My face wasn't as puffy, either. I had to keep the other fairly tight to keep it from become unsealed, and my face would have morning edema as a result, getting all swollen and puffy. This morning I just looked like me when I came in and washed my face.

I just crashed, after an insane day off of doing all sorts of things

We decided to just record 'Grimm' and watch it later, even though this was the 'Taming of the Wu' episode. So I dropped my friend off about 7:30 pm, went home, put the new CPAP masque together, took out the old SD card and replaced it, and put the old card in the package to send back to the medical supply company so they can download all the information on it. (Yeah, that's a bit creepy, I know). Then I tried to lie down for a bit, and the new masque is a little different. There are not separate nasal pillows that fit up your nose, but rather a under-the-nose area area. Here's a comparison. The one on the left is the ResMed Swift FX for Her masque (made by the folks who made my original CPAP machine--which I probably have had for fifteen years and still keep in the car during the winter in case I'm stranded somewhere), the one on the right is the Phillips Respironics Dreamwear masque (by the same folks who make my current CPAP):



Note the nasal pillows on the Swift FX, and that the hose is on the bottom. The Dreamwear has the hose on a rotating thing on the top of the head, so it's a little less likely to tangle as you move around in bed. Now you would think that without something in my nose, I would have fallen to sleep immediately, but actually it is a little louder, more reverberation I guess, and I didn't really feel like I had a masque on, which is good, but disconcerting. So it took a good hour to actually fall asleep, and I really just rested, but finally did doze, and I'd moved around on my back, left side, and right side. Both have their good points. And considering I wore the Swift FX upside down for almost the entire time I wore it, it worked remarkably well, getting 90% of 16.1 pressure over time. [The plastic piece goes on top; the soft cloth piece in the back]. The new one can't be worn in any other way, since the top has the hose, and all writing should be right side up. So I guess you could say it's more idiot-proof. We'll see how the new one goes. I'll definitely keep the other in case the one doesn't work out, and as a backup.

So all told, I was resting or napping for about two-and-a-half hours, just crashing. Now I'm up, and blogging, listening to the OneRepublic station on Pandora. I called my friend once I sat down to this, because I realised that we never got A's bus pass. They're going to use cash to go somewhere tomorrow, which will take them near a Kroger, where they can get one there, so really, the only thing I'm needed for tomorrow is the grocery run later in the day. So...that means I can push certain things to tomorrow, including:

• Exercising
• Bill paying
• Cleaning house

and really put some effort into the house, which is terribly messy at the moment. Not insurmountable, of course, just messy. And the fish tanks need attention and the recyclables need to go out (I took the trash out a couple of days ago). So the idea is to go back to sleep, wake up maybe at 8 am, go exercise, get a shower, start on the house, work on it for awhile, and pay bills as I take breaks. Tomorrow I think it's supposed to rain and be cooler, so it'll be good to do stuff inside, although hopefully it won't be raining so hard that the recyclables will be an issue. That way I'll also get things put together before the end of the month, Beltane (which starts tomorrow night), and my next cycle/dark of the moon. That'll be nice. So, I think I'm going to head back to bed. Good night!

PS I'm not sure how many miles I drove today, but I went through a quarter of a tank of gas, and made several trips around the eastern and middle parts of town, back and forth, back and forth. My step count for the day was only 4,856, so most of my running around was by car. But whew! What a lot of running!

I'm off from work today

because it was a light clinic day and I had things to do that required being off 9-5, and while I may regret it in the long run (I don't have much Personal Time Off (PTO) at all, and Memorial Day's around the corner), it's really been nice. I got up at the normal time, though, and so far I have:

1. Called and arranged for someone to take the paper to the library, since Friday's has the Weekender and is more popular.
2. Gotten my car tags renewed.
3. Picked up a book on the Medici family during the Italian Renaissance from the library downtown.
4. Stopped by McDonald's for breakfast (they gave me regular Coke, ugh, but otherwise it was decent).
5. Picked up a friend, stopped by a gas station for drinks and his newspaper, and took him to an appointment.
6. Waited outside in the car with the windows rolled down, reading the Medici book, for about an hour. I also downloaded a couple of phone applications and laid the seat back, enjoying the pleasant breeze and sunlight.
7. Took my friend home.
8. Got a call from the allergist that my phials are in, so I can start allergy shots. They were getting ready to close for lunch, so I came on home, got my Epi-Pens transferred to my bag, and now I'm killing some time listening to the Eurythmics and A Flock of Seagulls on an 80s alternative music channel on Pandora. I've got the windows of the apartment open.

Things to do the rest of the day:

1. Get my allergy shots.
2. Go grocery shopping.
3. Pay bills.
4. Exercise.
5. Work on the house.
6. Print out some papers for a friend, whose printer is out of ink.
7. Take that friend to an appointment mid-afternoon.
8. Go get the new SD card for my CPAP machine and try the new masque the doctor recommended, see if it fits.
9. Pick up a friend for an evening appointment.
10. Take another friend to get his bus pass.
11. Watch 'Grimm'.

So, yes, busy day, but yay for productivity so far. I think I'll print those pages out before doing anything else. The allergist's office opens back up at 1:30 pm. Then I can deliver the pages when I pick my friend up.

I am

ninety-six posts away from 11,000. (95 now). Whew!

No good deed goes unpunished

So I came home after a day of feeling like I'd been beaten down (usually I love my work; today, it involved lots of problems with the copiers, and that was not fun), talked to a friend on the phone, played on Facebook for awhile, ate eggs, and basically got myself in a better mood, so much, in fact, that I decided to go over to the gym and work out. I put on clean workout shorts and my Angry Dalek shirt (it's a 'Doctor Who' version of my Soft Kitty shirt), and then I walked over there. I didn't bring an umbrella, because it wasn't raining yet, and I decided if it started, I'd just stay and work out longer. A woman was there in the gym, I said hello. She was taking a picture of herself in the mirror, and in trying to stay out of her way, I went to the treadmill that had her glasses and keys on it. She came to move her stuff, I apologised, went to the other treadmill, and as soon as I was about to punch up my workout tracker, I got a phone call.

Sigh.

I knew A was out and about after work, getting a massage, but I thought he'd be on the bus by then. No, he missed the bus, and if I didn't go get him, it would probably be about two hours before he got home, as the buses go to 70 minutes between runs, and if you don't get them right during the changeover, it can mean sitting at the transit centre for a long time. So I went, of course.

Ten feet out the door and the heavens opened up. I walked over to the car, soaked to the skin--my socks, my hair, my bra, everything, pretty much. I got in the car and drove down Alumni in the driving rain. Fortunately, it eased up by the time I got to the double roundabouts. Meanwhile, I was nervously looking at my gas gauge (on empty--I get paid late tonight/early tomorrow), waiting for the gas light to come on. I got A, took him home, and the gas light came on as he was going through the door. Fortunately it just sprinkled from there. I got home (I live 10-15 minutes away), came in, got out of the wet clothes and into my sleep shirt. I don't really feel like working out anymore tonight. I've been trying to do it in the mornings, but while I have been getting up early (as in 7 am), I haven't been getting up by 6 am, which is what I need to do that. So I figured I'd try to work out this evening, because, after all, I didn't have to be at an appointment, I wasn't planning on going over to my friends' house, and I figured A was on the bus. I think I'll go back to trying to do things in the morning; the afternoons just don't ever work for me.

At least it didn't rain into the windows--I didn't stop to come in and put them down. The windowboxes got a good soaking, though, which is good. I went ahead and watered the indoor plants as well.

I just listened to a couple of messages on my home phone. Apparently a hospital from another state is looking for a man who owes on his bill, and he needs to call his insurance and give them information before they'll pay. Mind you, I'm in an area code hundreds of miles away, but with cell phones, that's understandable. On the other hand, my message identifies my number and my name, makes no mention of this person, etc. Bad hospital, leaving personal information on a complete stranger's voicemail. They also did not leave a number to call back, and I can't trust the one that showed up, as those often are wrong, so I can't call to tell them that they are leaving messages at the wrong number. I'd be surprised if they ever get paid at this rate.

I didn't have any mail earlier, but when I came back, there was a mail truck outside the building. Apparently it's a new mail carrier--after he did deliver to our building (I still didn't get anything, but hey, at least there were no bills), he got a new batch of mail and started to come down our stairs, then realised the numbers on the building didn't match. Poor guy; I'm sure he came around with someone else at some point, but things are often hard when you start flying solo on the job. Our mail normally comes at 3:30 pm--I know because of three months laid up with a broken ankle, when our regular guy came like clockwork. It was about 7:30 pm when this guy came, so that's surprisingly late. Oh, well, I wish him well.

For awhile now, cool Indian music has been coming from above me (I have my windows open). It's stopped now. There are a lot of South Asian families and singles here in the complex. For awhile someone was doing home-cooked Indian meals for a very reasonable price, which I never took them up on, and now I regret that.

I also regret never going to the restaurant Coba Cocina, with its jellyfish tanks, because they closed for good yesterday. It's so hard for restaurants to make it, of course, even ones run by experienced restauranteurs (the owner is also the one for the Lexington Cheddars, and a couple of others). Everyone I talked to who went said it was decent, but didn't really wow them. So I guess that was part of it. One of the main reasons I didn't go, even though it was one street over from work, was that it always looked terribly busy when I went by. So I was surprised in a way, even though I've been telling myself since it opened that I should go see the jellyfish before they inevitably close, because restaurants are such a risky business. I wonder what will become of the jellyfish?

Oh, well. It's almost 8 pm. I should do some dishes and some straightening up, as the Terminix people come tomorrow. I'm not on my last legs in terms of being tired, but I must admit, the rain has made me sleepy. It's too late to take a nap, and it's too early to really turn in for the night. So maybe I should just listen to music and work on the house for a bit. Or read. Reading sounds great, even though there are other things that should be done. Good night.

Hmmm....

I was pretty tired when I got home last night, around 9:30 pm, so I went on to bed after listening to some relaxation sounds on a phone application. But I didn't realise I hadn't actually written since Saturday. Sorry about that. I'm really trying to be consistent, and with the restored home Internet, there's really no reason why I shouldn't take a few minutes to blog or at least find a news story or video that touched me that day.

Tonight I had a couple of appointments (same building, different floors) and they went well. Then I went and got A and took him to the store for creamer, which Tates Creek Kroger was out of Saturday, because while it's not an emergency, it is a necessity for YKWIA (and one of his main sources of nutrition, and an uncaffeinated YKWIA is a sleepy YKWIA.)

Today I wore a cyan-coloured dress with that has a lot of embroidery, beading, ribbons, and a few cyan sequins--not gaudy, just kind of festive and springy. I received half-a-dozen compliments on it over the course of the day, which was nice. Normally I wouldn't have chosen the colour, it's so bright, and I'm a bit ruddy (you know that British/Irish peaches and cream complexion? I'm more strawberries and cream.) But I always get compliments when I wear it, and I have a slightly lighter skirt I sometimes wear, too, and it apparently works on me as well. (YKWIA does not care for the shirt I wear with that--it's tie-dyed, has fringe, and has silver sequins, so yes, it's a bit tacky, but it gets me in touch with my inner hippie). I have never been a fashionista by any means, anyway, although I do try to go out of the house with matching ensembles (along with matching purses or bags), matching socks, that sort of thing. :)

I boiled some eggs for dinner tonight. They were good, but I probably should have let them go for 12 minutes, not 10, as the yolks were cooked most of the way through but not firm. Sometimes you can get away with 10--it depends on things like the size of eggs, temperature of water, humidity, and elevation. Next time, though, I'll do 12 minutes. Can you tell it's been awhile since I boiled eggs? Obviously I'm not a gourmet cook. I'm pretty good at the prep work that YKWIA has me do when he cooks (and he's a marvelous cook), and I am getting better, can follow a recipe, that sort of thing, but no one's ever going to pay for me to serve them food.

I've got the windows and blinds open so I can hear the rain and thunder properly. Many years ago I couldn't have quietly enjoyed a thunderstorm--I used to have a phobia for thunder and other loud noises. Now I'm more mellow. So I think I've conquered that one. I probably wouldn't like to repeat the horrible storm on my honeymoon where we were trying to save a campsite and manning wooden poles of a tarp so that it wouldn't overflow and collapse, and our campsite was struck by an ancillary bolt of lightning that came down. I don't remember feeling that, although others did. I was too busy lying in a puddle in the foetal position to feel anything at that point. That was outside Atlanta, at midsummer, at a pagan gathering where the Farrars and Isaac Bonewits had given an interview at a store and said the witches had come to Atlanta, and so we had threats from the KKK (this was 1991) and a Georgia state trooper was assigned to guard the gate. I'm not sure what he thought about these people running around in robes, and horns, and who knows what else. It definitely wasn't the normal kind of festival he was probably used to.

1991 was a pivotal year for me. I got married June 15th, started playing the Cthulhu game when it began in early July, and then left my husband (for reasons I won't go into here, but trust me, I needed to) December 5th. We were divorced by my birthday in 1992. It was the best present I ever had. It was like my brain came online--it's amazing the stupid things we do while young. I didn't get married until I was 24 but we'd been together for six years and I was 18 when I met him, and he was the first person I'd dated. Word to the wise, young ones: don't marry your first crush. Live a little, first. A little maturity goes a long way, especially when it comes to marriage. And if you aren't a gay man, don't marry a gay man. Enough said.

It's hard to believe that was almost 25 years ago. And it left a lot of emotional scars that have taken me years to work through, but I think I'm much better off now. Some time ago I joined a site mainly for the quizzes (I think online quizzes are fun), but it is actually a dating site. I've never taken any steps to really use it as such, but I did download the application on my phone the other day and there was a guy, a couple of years older than I am, who really caught my eye. I accidentally 'liked' him because I didn't know what I was doing, and was trying to bookmark his profile to show YKWIA. But that's okay. I am considering sending him a message. I'm pretty shy about such things. I never really got the dating thing down. But maybe we can meet for coffee or something like that. That's not too scary. And if he doesn't like me or doesn't want to meet, that's fine, at least it's good practice on the way to finding someone who does, right?

Okay, I think it's time to get away from the computer and get some things done around here, like refrigerating the eggs and doing some stuff around the house, maybe while I listen to Pandora. Good night.

This made me laugh today

Mainly everything from 4:11 on, to be honest. I saw that snippet on Facebook and it brightened my day. So I found this link, and I hope it makes you happy, too.

I got a lovely card today

in the post that announces my cousin's graduation next month. Mind you, her father, my youngest first cousin, is the first baby that I held that I remember clearly, when I was 8 or 9, and I remember he screamed his head off because I had no idea what I was doing, being an only child. I think I held that against him much of my childhood, although of course, he's a great guy and I love him anyway.) I was very happy to hear about the occasion, she's beautiful and vivacious, and heading forward to college and a (hopefully) wonderful new stage of life, but after I took it in I was like, gee, where did the years go? I remember when he was graduating from high school like it was yesterday. When did we all get so old??? Anyway, congratulations to her, and here's to a great new life at Clemson!

I do not understand the mindset of trolls and bullies

who would spread vitriol and horribleness just to feel good about their own pathetic lives.

This makes me mad, and sad, and a whole lot of other emotions, wrapped up in a twisted ball of yarn made of sick colours. Thank goodness for people who have good hearts (and a fair amount of technical knowledge), who can create as safe an environment as possible away from this sort of thing:

The day ‘hackers’ told 6 year old autistic children that they should ‘kill yourself’

On April 6th, 2016, two people attempted to hack into the Autcraft server and failed.

What they did succeed in doing, however, was to hijack our IP address, effectively redirecting all the traffic from our server to a server of their own.

The children that signed on to play, some as young as 6 years old, signed on to their server instead of mine. Once there, they were encased in a bedrock box from which they could not leave and were told that they were rejects from society, degenerates and that they should kill themselves.

When I asked these guys why they’d do such a thing, they responded “it’s funny.”

Follow the links at the end of his post if you want to support Autcraft and help keep it safe by becoming a Patron or donating directly. Thanks to Ragen Chastain, of the Dances with Fat blog, for sharing it on Facebook.

Random things

Yesterday I:
1. Went to the sleep centre and as he was writing a prescription for a lowering of pressure on my CPAP and a nifty new kind of masque that has the tubing on the top, I discovered that I have, in actuality, been wearing my CPAP masque UPSIDE DOWN for years. All I can say, is you can demonstrate something to someone once, but if they have ADD, good luck on them repeating correctly. The funny thing is that a) it's remarkable I did as well doing so, as I maintain a decent pressure over 90% of the time according to the report, and b) while technically more comfortable (the plastic thingy that looks like a corrugated tie goes on top, not on the back, where it was a little painful if I were on the my back), will be a little hard to get used to.
2. Took a long purifying bath with lavender oil in the water, lavender incense going, and a lavender candle burning. It's hard to get up and down in the tub these days, but I managed. If I every owned a house, I would so install one of those walk-in tubs. I love baths. Showers feel cleaner, but baths are so much more relaxing.

Today I:
1. Wore purple, because well, Prince, and because I love purple and the clothes were comfy for casual day.
2. Had a bone density scan and mammogramme. I still have markers on my skin tags that I need to pull off. Holly, the tech at the St. Joseph Breast Centre, was stupendous, making sure everything was positioned just right so we didn't have to repeat anything and doing the angled shots in two sets to get good images without crushing my boobies too badly. Plus, their gowns for big girls swallow me up, and I'm a very big girl.
3. Carried deodorant around in my backpack all day because you can't wear deodorant while having a mammogram, so I brought it to put on afterwards.
4. Saw a bald eagle flying above Chinoe Road while at a stoplight, with the distinctive white head and brown body. I've never seen one in person.

Happy Earth Day!

RIP

Sorry I didn't blog last night

I came home, played on Facebook for awhile, and then went to bed. But I'm home tonight, listening to a mourning dove cry in the distance, with the windows open. I got home about 5 pm (I went in early today), ate, fiddled some more on Facebook and YouTube, and now I'm ready to do some other things:

1. Look through a book I have on fitness for everyone.
2. Listen to music.
3. Read some of The Bad-Ass Librarians of Timbuktu
4. Maybe watch a DVD--I'm leaning towards a 'Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries' episode.

My neck is bothering me today, so I don't want to do much physical stuff. My arm and back have actually been numb at times, and otherwise things hurt. Tomorrow we're supposed to get rain, so that may be part of it.

Two sides of a coin

Here is the orchid

I gave my coworker for her birthday.  I spent less than if I'd gotten cut flowers and a vase,  and these should last longer and (hopefully) come back over and over.

Drat!

I did a major no-no for someone with diabetes--I walked out onto our porch to water the windowboxes and apparently stepped on something incredibly small, like a sliver of glass or something else sharp. It's on my big toe, and I can't find anything in order to pull it out, so every time I step, it hurts. Not good. At least it's a fairly minor annoyance, and hopefully won't get infected or anything. I need to remember to at the very least wear my sandals (although those aren't ideal either, but I love letting my toes 'breathe'). I'm technically supposed to wear something inside, too. My feet have always gotten hot very easily (I hated footed pyjamas as a child, and wandered to find cooler areas as a result).

Today I'm thinking of a young girl half a world a way, the daughter of a Facebook friend, who has a terrible degenerative genetic illness and is having a lot of trouble the last few days. Here's hoping things get better for her and her family.

I've been on Facebook for at least an hour, catching up on my newsfeed. I was sorry to hear Doris Roberts died. I loved her even back when 'Angie' was on. And I found a Passover parody of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' that I'm a little afraid to watch. :)

It's a little late to start tonight, but I'm thinking that the game notes shouldn't take long at all this week. I'll try to do them before Saturday for a change.

What I think I will do is a little reading, especially a couple of books I have on intuitive eating. I'd put that on hold, and while, granted, I went a couple of days without my Lasix, which may mean I may have some extra water weight on me, I weighed myself this morning and topped out at my highest weight ever, 307.2 lbs. That scares me. I don't feel healthy at this weight, and I want to be healthier, but it'll probably mean some major lifestyle changes--exercising, ditching processed food for the most part, being mindful in my eating, and drinking water as my drink of choice, rather than diet drinks. Dieting itself doesn't work for me. I'm fine during the structured part of my day, then binge later in the day when I'm home, because I feel deprived of the food, which I eat emotionally. I need to make peace with food, finally.

I am at a friend's appointment

Just chilling,  listening to Pandora.  I slept really well for the first time in days last night. The day went well,  I gave a co-worker a pretty orchid for her birthday, and after work I went over to my friend's house and talked with a friend and her friend, who had brought her up to Lexington. We all had a good time.  Then it was time to come over here.

I've been on the Kindle and downloaded some free books,  was on the tablet briefly (I was going to blog on that,  but I like the SwiftKey keyboard I have in the phone better.  I don't think I've ever downloaded it on the tablet) .  I also read an issue of Yoga Journal.  So I've been doing things,  although I didn't really feel like cracking open a Kindle book and reading just now.

I think I'll just listen to the music and relax for awhile.  Hope you had a good day.  I'll probably write later,  once I get home.  My eyes are tired from data entry eyestrain and staring at a small screen is giving me a headache. My fluctuations in blood sugar make it hard to determine which pair of glasses or contacts I should be wearing. Right now it's my next to the last pair of glasses, which seem to be doing better than the most recent pair.

Okay. Time to wrap this up.  :)

I'm not going to make it to 10 pm

I've moved the fan back to the bedroom,  closed the windows and blinds,  and I'm about to take my Lantus.  I put enzymes down the drain for the second night - - it's working really well on the sink,  but the tub is being resistant,  although it is better.  You usually treat for three days,  on nights,  really,  as you have to go 6 hours without using them afterwards.

I have a headache,  for which I will take some ibuprofen before I lie down. But I hope I can sleep tonight.

Good night.

I got home from the game while it was still light outside

which is almost unheard of. I enjoyed the game--downtime this time, but with getting so little sleep last night, I'm ready to get some rest. I've been researching pregnancy a bit for the game, as I have a character who is pregnant with twins. She's fifteen weeks along (I thought it was thirteen, but gestation is dated from the last period, not from the date of conception, I found out.) One of them is female, the other is male (it's too early to tell by mundane means, but magic is a totally different thing, and after all, this is a horror/sci-fi/fantasy sort of game. And apparently there is active magic going on with the babies already, even though they haven't been born, so it looks like we'll have a couple more special kids in the game, to join the ranks of fairy princesses and shapeshifters.)

Before we played, as I was doing my normal game preparations, I also did my laundry, which had piled up for two weeks rather than the regular one, so that's good. I'd taken the sheers over there to be evaluated, and he liked them. so I washed those, too. I think one rod will work, but the other window will need a different one, as my bigger window rod doesn't collapse down far enough. So today was productive over there. I'd like to do a bit around here--I still need to take out the trash and recyclables, for example, and tomorrow isn't good because I'll probably be there late due to an appointment. But I'm already in my sleep shirt, and I'm pretty comfy and don't want to put regular clothes back on to take that out. But I've got my alarm already set for 6 am, so I might be able to take care of it in the morning.

I've been home almost an hour, listening to Pandora again (this time it's the OneRepublic channel, so stuff like them, Imagine Dragons, The Fray, and Maroon V). I've got the windows up, the fan going in the living room, and I have one small light on. With it getting dark outside, there's not much light in here, and I'm getting pretty sleepy. I really don't want to go to bed yet--I'd like to make it to 10 pm. I also need to go looking for one of my medicines--I accidentally put it in a bag of meds rather than my bookbag, and put another one in there instead. So I didn't have it today. I also need to go ahead and take my Lantus so I can keep on track with my injectible medication schedule as well. I just checked my Habitica tasks--I apparently forgot to mark my dailies off yesterday, even though I did them, which is unfortunate, as I lost hit points for my avatar. But I've marked things off for tonight, anyway. I was also sure to wish a co-worker happy birthday today on Facebook. She and her family went to the Louisville Zoo today. :)

Okay, I think I'm going to go in-between and instead of going to bed, which would necessitate closing the windows, I'll prop myself back on the couch recliner. But I'll sign off for now. Good night.

I so did not sleep well last night

I tossed and turned, and could never get in a comfortable position. My back hurt if I stretched out on my back. If I was on my left side, my shoulder and arm hurt (from the neck issues), and if I was on my right side, my neck itself hurt. Plus I had an awful headache--and that was with a mild muscle relaxant and some Aleve, which hurt my stomach, too. Not good. Also, I had bizarre dreams where I ate my glasses and everything was precise and kind of obsessive-compulsive. Finally, even the sound of the fan, not so much blowing, but settling into place before going to the next breeze cycle, was bothering me, but the breeze itself was helping me to get what sleep I did.

I'm a mess. I can't even manage to sleep right.

It is, in fact,

73.2 degrees inside even with the fan.  Given that I'm up and moving,  no wonder I'm not.  I got the laundry together.  I'm resting my back now.  Then I'll take the trash out,  get stuff together for tomorrow,  and move the air mattress.  At that point,  I'll call it a night.  But for now,  I'll stretch out for just a bit.  If I do fall asleep,  my alarm is set and I can finish in the morning. I doubt I'll write any more tonight,  barring insomnia. Hope you had a good Saturday.  Mine was certainly productive.

Got to sit down for a bit

I've straightened up some, corralled the dishes (mostly in the kitchen, but a few water glasses here and there), unloaded the dish washer, loaded it, and run it (although I've bumped into it twice and turned it off--I don't know who thought that a front-mounted knob that pulls out to activate the thing would be good). I still need to do the plastic dishes, though. I've also cleaned out the refrigerator (is it a sign that you're a single woman, and diabetic, when there are mostly condiments and insulin in your fridge?) I watered the plants thoroughly and got the poor Norfolk Virginia pine to stand up using stakes, as opposed to leaning on my clock above the computer. I've pulled apart the rods and sheers that came down the other day; I'm going to see if YKWIA can use the sheers--they are ivory with pink roses on them, which would match his library. I also set up a shower caddy in the bathroom to organise my shampoo and other items. It hangs on the shower head. I got it at Gabriel Brothers the other day, and its original price was $12.99 wherever it came from, but theirs was $3.99. I also put some enzymatic drain powder down the drains in the bathroom, which have been emptying rather slowly, no doubt because of the hair that gets down them. I have a brand new hair catcher plastic mesh thing to go over the tub drain.

That leaves the laundry (which could be gathered tomorrow, but I'm always in such a rush on Sunday mornings, as I usually try to make it there by 9 am), a little more straightening up, moving the bin with the air mattress in it, emptying the small receptacle next to my desk of recyclables into the main bin, and taking the trash out. That's all I'm going to try to do tonight. But it should go a long way to making the place better. RIght now, though, my back is hurting just a bit and I'm very hot (I don't have the air conditioning on or anything). It's after 10 pm and 62 degrees outside, but I think it's warmer in here, even with the windows open. I think I'll go into the bedroom for a little while, turn on the fan, and the work on the laundry in there.

I don't know why I was so tired

I slept a couple of hours, waking up around close to 8 pm. I really needed that, apparently. Now I'm up and I've connected my television to the wireless router so I can watch Netflix and also listen to Pandora. I have an Ella Fitzgerald channel playing now ('As Time Goes By' from Casablanca is playing right now, even though that's Dooley Wilson), so it's very mellow in here. I may talk with a friend on the phone later; I'd called and he was just getting out of the shower, so I told him that I didn't have anything pressing but if he'd like to call me that's fine, too. I've still got the windows up, so the blinds are open. I'm looking around the room. So much to do. So not wanting to just now. I think I will water the plants again (I did just a few days ago, but they're already dry). Also, I need to do dishes and then gather laundry and have it ready for tomorrow. I don't know if I'll get the fish tanks taken care of today, but I need to soon. And I think I will straighten up the living room so it doesn't look so cluttered, which is a bit of a challenge. The books are all on shelves, for example, but there are more books than there are really meant to be, for example. And I need to take the air mattress out of the living room (I thought I might have a guest) and back to the bathroom, where it normally stays. So basically, I need to work on some little things that will improve life around here. I think one of the Habitica challenges puts it as 'Personal Management', the daily stuff that you have to do to have a good environment.

It's a challenge to deal with my stuff--not only am I basically a hoarder, although I've de-hoarded a lot periodically throughout the years, but also my apartment is only 750 square feet. But I was recently looking at apartments for someone else and that's bigger (and cheaper) than a lot of places in Lexington. I'm paying $550 a month, and that's on the low-end of a one-bedroom fee, for a larger apartment with a lot of storage, and all utilities except electric. We have a pool, tennis court, fitness centre, basketball area, laundry, and they just opened a fenced-in dog park the other day. They're making a lot of improvements here lately, too. I'm starting my thirteenth year here, soon. And while we don't have balconies or patios, we do have a large porch off our building (ours is a little different than the rest, which makes it great for getting pizza). Plus there's the windowsills for plants. :) I'm on a long lease, which gives me a break on the rent. I think the standard fees are $555 for a one-bedroom and $655 for a two-bedroom. And pets just require a pet deposit and $20/month (not for each pet, but for any dog or cat), and I see some pretty big dogs here, so I don't think there's a poundage limit. It's a quiet neighbourhood in east Lexington and very convenient to a lot of stuff--shopping, hospitals, etc., plus I have a ten-minute drive to work every day. So I'm happy here.

Okay, enough about the apartment. Time to work on it, with Billie Holliday and Natalie Cole in the background--and of course, Ella. :) Good night, if I don't blog anymore tonight.

Heaven help me, I fell asleep doing the notes

at the climax, no less, when one of Brenda's characters had shot an Elder Thing that was opening a time portal to our time from the Jurassic era and when we went to retrieve the tools that were creating the portal, the sight of six shoggoths barrelling down upon us caused her other character (who'd had previous experience with the horrors) to go mad. He was knocked out, thrown over a shoulder, the objects were retrieved, and we ran like mad back to our time machine.

I love the Cthulhu game. But I did fall asleep in my chair for just about three minutes, and had to go back and listen again. Now the notes are finished. I think it took about three hours, and we only played for about four. I'm going to go take a nap, then get up and get some stuff done around here. The late afternoon sun is streaming in the windows and making me sleepy, I think. :)

I just saw the most bizarre men's hairstyle

on a man who walked out of my apartment building. It was shaved on the sides, with long hair in a mohawk-like style but then put in a small man-bun. It looked silly. Kudos to following his own drummer, but still....

A productive day so far

I am now in possession of a new drivers's licence, which will be good until 2020. Kentucky may have to change their licences to meet the Real ID law's requirements, but if I need to fly before, or even after they make the change (I think they'll have a regular licence and one that is more expensive that complies for flying in the works, judging from something I read in the paper), I have my passport and passport card, so that should suffice. This time there was an option to put a Donate Life (organ donation) icon on the front. I always sign mine (and there's still a space for that--I'll try to get my friends to witness that tomorrow), but it's nice that they have the option. The picture, as usual, is atrocious. (Note to the Commonwealth of Kentucky: having cameras where you look down at the bottom of the camera accentuates double chins horribly. We have an obese population here in the state, maybe we could look up a bit instead?) :) The office wasn't busy at all, and operated quite smoothly. Considering they're only open 9-12 on every third Saturday, I was surprised. I had to go to Keithshire Way, which is over between Reynolds Road and Clays Mill, so pretty much across town for me, but still, it was pleasant. It's a gorgeous day, in the 60s and 70s, sunny, wonderful. I saw a guy on a skateboard 'walking' his two dogs (they were running ahead, enjoying the weather).

My 'nieces' (the dogs) were asking to go outside almost immediately after they came in, just pausing long enough for some water. They're basking and rolling. :)

I visited with one friend, took someone on an errand, had a serious discussion, and now I'm basically back home, as I still need to do the notes, which hopefully won't take too long, although we did do an adventure, rather than downtime, so maybe it will. But first I have to find my laptop bag, as the computer has been plugged in like a desktop to various things--speakers, mainly, and I haven't taken it anywhere since Sunday. I thought it was here in the living room but I don't see it. Maybe it's unders some stuff on the couch. I also need to do some more spring cleaning if I can get the notes finished in a timely fashion. But the laptop bag has the voice recorder in it, and it has the session recorded. Hmm....

But first, I'm getting something to eat and drink. I've opened the windows, and I have the radio on. I may take a walk later--it really is wonderful outside. I saw one of my-coworkers, who is also a neighbour, out walking his pug. It makes me wish I had a dog of my own to take on walkies, but hey, it's probably just as well. Besides, I'm an auntie to the dogs, and that's enough.

PS The laptop bag, and recorder, was in the living room, at the base of the couch, under a tote bag. I really have to straighten things up. But first, I really need to work on those notes. :)

So much for going to bed early

I've been playing on Facebook. Hey, I missed the Internet. I've been going on just as much as necessary, not really doing the surfing I enjoy. But now I am really going to head on to bed. Good night!

By the way...

I think Kelly Clarkson and I have some similar issues:





One for each of the two most important people in terms of my childhood. Let me just say thank you for my dearest friend--and whom I consider family--who 'raised' me in my 20s, taught me to love others and myself, and whom I can always count on. I've got your back.

Home from 'Grimm'

which I enjoyed. I came home and closed the blinds, and fished a part of my windchime that is usually in the window that a fellow player gave me years ago off the couch. It had had slipped off its ring when the guy took it down to put the blinds in. I got that back on, got the chime back up, and went outside to see how it looked to have the blinds down. Wow. If I wanted, I could dance naked in my living room and no one outside would know. For years I've had open curtains (still there) with sheers up, so technically naked dancing could be risky. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to try to get my driver's licence, as there is an office across town open in the morning on the third Saturday of the month. Fortunately the state finally sent me my refund (all $26 of it), so I can give it back to them in the form of payment for my ID and then have enough over for maybe a drink and a breakfast biscuit at McDonald's. :)

After that I need to take someone somewhere while having a come-to-Jesus meeting as well. What I have is an almost uncontrollable urge to smack the person, but instead I will be the adult and talk instead.

After that, I have no plans. I could come back home and work on the house (and the game notes--I've been a bit distracted this week). Or a friend and I could do something fun, maybe. I don't know. We'll see. But it's not a day crammed with plans like a normal Saturday, and that's great. I don't know yet if we're playing the Cthulhu game on Sunday; I'm assuming we are, and need to finish the notes, therefore. But I don't know for sure.

Okay, my phone is telling me it's bedtime. I'll write tomorrow. Hope your week went well, and here's to a happy weekend.

Oh, dear

So I came home and immediately noticed that I had mini-blinds. That in itself isn't a problem; I knew I was getting them and I wanted them. But, I thought they were going to put them in next week, giving me the weekend to excavate the bedroom and to move the plants and boards and blocks from in front of the living room windows. Apparently they worked around the plants and the mess. I decided to go ahead and put the geraniums, which are quite large (there are three, divided into two window boxes, having overwintered two years now) out onto the sill outside. While I was out sprucing them up and watering them, the maintenance guy who put in the blinds drove up and assured me that he hadn't moved the plants, but that he'd had to take my sheers down because they go on the inside of the windows just where the blinds need to be. I told him that was fine, and apologised for the mess, but he said that was no problem. I must admit, I am embarrassed. I actually had dirty clothes on the bedroom floor, for example, including underwear.

Anyway, I like the blinds. The sun was streaming nicely through them when I got home. The weird thing about them is that while the bedroom one fits the single window, the blinds in the living room are not two singles, but one large one (there are two windows, together, making one large space). It's kind of nice, but I didn't expect it, although if I'd really looked at my neighbours' windows, I would have already figured that out. Fortunately too, I don't have cats anymore, as cats are death to blinds. I did move out the geraniums (after talking to him and calling the office--my leasing agent had told me the reason for the blinds was to make everything look uniform, and I wanted to make sure the plants were okay). She's off, but the assistant said she'd double-check when her boss gets back Tuesday, and in the meantime, go ahead and put them out. So the only thing down in the sill now is my antenna for the TV. The blinds allow a lot more manipulation of what people see, but with the geraniums being so tall, the blinds could only be down about half to two-thirds of the way down, and I wanted the chance to put them down completely. I also rearranged the other plants so there's more space, and the ants are terribly annoyed, as I removed their source of water, the fountain. I put one of the bushier plants in front of the window so that I had a bit of a screen between the window and me sitting at the computer.

The forecast is 70s in the day, 50s for the evening for awhile, and sunny for the next few days, so I think the geraniums will be fine, and they were only moved about four inches in front of where they'd been, so the sun shouldn't burn them. The bees and other insects have already shown interest; they were trying to get through the screen earlier, big bumble bees, because two of the geraniums are blooming. All the rearranging will help me be able to open and close the windows better.

It's 6 pm. 'Grimm' is on at 9 pm, and I'll be going over to YKWIA's for that, probably about 8 pm. I think I may lie down for about 45 minutes right now. It's cloudier than when I got home, but the windows are open and the temperature is pleasant, although I'd like to be nearer to the fan. I still plan on getting things done around the house thie weekend, though.

I'm officially online again

1. Modem received, connected, and activated? Check!
2. Wireless router connected, configured, and working? Check!
3. Vonage router connected and phone working? Check!
4. Computer works either with Ethernet or Wi-Fi connexion? Check!
5. Printer connected via Wi-Fi? Check!
6. Printer printing? Check!

So it took awhile, but I got all my ducks in a row, finally. I had specifically asked for the same level of Internet I had before, which was 20 Mbps and came with a wireless modem all-in-one. Instead, I got standard Internet (which, granted, is cheaper by $10), which is 15 Mbps, has a wired-only modem, etc. Fortunately I still had my old wireless router, and was able to find the cord for it as well (they had become separated). Everything else was still in place, so I hooked it all back up to the modem in the correct order, reconfigured the connexion on the laptop and the printer. I couldn't get the printer to print via the USB, but it will wirelessly, so I'll worry about that when I get the desktop back. Besides, I think I had that set up via Ethernet anyway. I had expressly asked them to FedEx my cable modem to my workplace rather than my home, since I've hardly ever been able to get packages via post or UPS at my apartment, and I figured this would be no different. Apparently they sent it to my home address anyway, but they took it to the leasing office, and when I checked if it had been delivered (which was a conundrum, as the truck had already been to work and it hadn't arrived), I noticed our leasing agent's name on the signature rather than anyone from materials management at work. So I went by and got it.

I also went to the doctor today and was told my wrist issues are not in my wrist at all, but stem from my neck, so he's given me an order to return to physical therapy and work on my core in an attempt to help my posture so my neck doesn't slip a bit and pinch nerves. Dr. Favetto is really big into posture. We have a new employee at work who came from there and when I mentioned I had an appointment, she said he'd tell me to work on my posture, which he did years ago when I went, and then repeated this time. :)

Anyway, I should be posting more now that I'm online more reliably. Okay, it's been a long and somewhat exhausting day. I think I'll go relax a bit. Good night!

I'm hot

So I didn't get my nap till about 7 pm,  which was okay,  as I was talking with various friends on the phone.  I slept till a little before 9 pm,  had some Greek yoghurt and blackberries,  and then commenced excavation of the dining area.  I filled a single copy paper box with various things to keep,  had a small pile of important things to go elsewhere (like my will),  and then a huge amount went into the recycling box,  which is mostly full now. My back hurts a bit from all the bending,  but I have a sense of accomplishment.  I'm also hot from the activity,  even though the heat was off and the windows up.  Now I've turned the radio off,  gotten into a sleep shirt,  and I'm stretched out in bed in front of the fan.

If only all problems could be solved by sorting them into boxes of what to keep and what to let go....

Correction

It's actually a fairly substantial colony of ants. :( I may have to head over to Kroger later for something to take care of it. And the fountain may just have to go live outside for a day or two. I keep feeling like they're crawling on me, even though they're not--my computer desk is in a corner near the window they're swarming from.

Today has been about getting used to changes and being one phone call away when needed. But I'm having a quiet night alone at the apartment, and I've had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a banana, and some string cheese, so I'm good for the night, hopefully. I brought some very sturdy copy boxes home from work over the last couple of days in the hopes of doing some spring cleaning--putting loose things in the boxes and then going through each one item at a time. Basically I want to contain things and make it easier to break down the process. I also need to water the plants and add some to the fish tanks. They're not dangerously low, but they do need some. My violets and geraniums are blooming nicely. I've put a couple of sprigs of my Christmas cactus which fell off into another pot and hopefully they'll root.

They sent the modem out today and I should get it tomorrow, although I'm going to be at an appointment or two tomorrow afternoon, so I may have to come back later and see if it came. Tomorrow I should be away from home in the evening, but I'll try to set it up after I get in. I'm just using the laptop at home right now; a friend still has my desktop borrowed.

I didn't sleep much at all last night. I went to bed early, about 10 or 10:30, and I slept till about midnight. After that, it was all tossing and turning back and forth. So I think I'll take a short nap before proceeding with my afternoon.

There is a very annoyed bee who keeps trying to get to my geraniums through the screen. :)

Okay, time for a nap.

I am

Incredibly sad on someone else's behalf tonight,  and I should be angry,  too,  and I am,  but that is overshadowed by numbness and utter disbelief. And those are my feelings,  which really don't matter in the long run.  I am concerned more about the other person's feelings and state of mind.  I wish I could make this better,  and I can't; I'm a fixer by nature and this is not something I can fix. I can only be there and love the person,  and maybe in some was that will be enough.

I have found a small colony of ants

making their way back and forth from the front wall to a rarely used fountain that still has some water in it. It's in the sunny living room window surrounded by plants. Occasionally I have seen an ant on my computer desk, so I decided to investigate. This is not good. I'm used to having trouble in the spring at work, but I've never had them in my home here, and it's usually fruit flies that are the issue in the summer. So, I guess it's time to find some decent ant bait.

I also just made arrangements to get my Internet/Wi-Fi back. Time Warner Cable processed my payment and will send me a modem within two days. I just have to tell the folks in our materials management that I have one coming via FedEx (I can never seem to get anything directly sent to my apartment).

I had a great appointment with my endocrinologist today. I went from a Hemoglobin A1c of 9.6 (pretty high, although the highest I've been is 10.1) down to 7.1 (which is in the range they like to see diabetics) in just three months, and it would probably have been better but the last two or three weeks I've struggled with my medication routine. Still, I'm back on track, so it should continue to stay decent.

I came home and did a little straightening up in the kitchen and living room before even taking off my shoes. Now I'm going to get something to eat and try to tackle the dining room, which had a lot of laundry on the table but now just has lots of random stuff. I brought home a couple of copy paper boxes, and I'm going to sweep everything into them and then go by things one by one. Hope you're having a good week so far!

It was very nice today

to have someone doing historical research in my library. Most of the collection is medical, specifically paediatric orthopaedic. But an older gentleman has over the years given us the annual proceedings of the fraternal organisation associated with the hospitals, and he occasionally comes and uses them to do research. I found out today that he was born the same year the hospital was opened--1926, meaning that they will both turn 90 this year. I think that's remarkable. He's preparing for a speech at our annual Hospital Day, in May. It's a Sunday (it always is). I usually skip it (I've been to one, the system's 75th anniversary one, when I first started, and the problem with that was the crowds and being surrounded by a bunch of men dressed like clowns--something I'd never really encountered and had not had a problem with previously). I just don't feel comfortable in that setting. It's a big open house, with lots of the fraternity members but also the general public, attending. This will be our last year in this building. Maybe I should go, even if it would mean missing the game. I don't know, I'll think about it. It's going to be a sad year, I suspect. I had someone else excitedly tell me today that the clinic would be getting their own colour copier in the new building and she wouldn't have to bother me anyway. I told her I wasn't sure where the 'main' copiers for the building would be in the next one, as there would be no library. I guess she didn't know I wasn't going. It looks like they'll decentralise some. I didn't mean to make her feel bad or anything, I was just stating the facts. But I will miss my little library (you can see it in the orchid flower pictures, it's not big at all, and I own more books than they have, really, if you don't count the journals). Next year will be 20 years of my life devoted to it, and then, just like that, it'll be over,m and I'll be laid off. So I can't think of the move without feeling sad. :(

I don't normally blog on Sundays

Mainly because that is the day I play Call of Cthulhu,  and it's an all day thing,  between cleaning and playing and a few things afterwards,  usually from about 9 am to 10ish pm,  and actual play time is about 5-6 hours.

We had a good adventure tonight,  a time-traveling one involving shoggoths and Elder Things, along with dinosaurs. It was fun.  Six shoggoths coming towards him made one of Brenda's characters go mad temporarily (it would most people--Google 'shoggoth' if you're curious,  especially images),  but at least it was after we kept them from rampaging into the town of Arkham through a time gate.  Since there's not much we can do about shoggoths,  we picked him up and just ran for our lives,  getting back to the time machine and getting out of there. We dropped him off somewhere he could get help,  and hopefully we'll return to Massachusetts in 2011 forthwith. (The time machine,  like the Doctor's TARDIS, is a bit sketchy at times,  and we were on the Titanic briefly about two hours before it met the iceberg at one point.)

After the game,  I made YKWIA some fish and rice and we watched a great episode of 'Ugly Betty',  I helped him find something which was unfortunately accidentally placed in the trash and taken outside,  but was undamaged and contains one of my character's family tree along with their psychic gifts,  so I was happy to root through a bag for it.

Now I'm home,  happy,  content,  and in bed., ready for the workweek. Hope your weekend went well.  Tomorrow should be warmer (in the 70s, as opposed to 50s). Yay!  I may wear a skirt.  I'll check to see how windy it will be,  though.  :)  Good night.

Things are (mostly) back to normal

I got a lot of rest Wednesday,  which is good,  because I barely made it home, I was so sleepy.  I had that day to do some self-care.  Thursday I did more caregiving,  making sure medication was available and taken,  and food eaten.  Today I finally caught up on my data entry, referrals,  and charge reconciliation.

One thing I learned today is that the control solution that came with my glucometer has a blue dye in that will stain fingers and desks.  Fortunately alcohol took it off the desk--it wasn't so good in terms of cleaning my skin and nails,  though.

Tonight was relatively normal, which was nice. I went over to be with friends and watch 'Grimm',  which I was happy to hear was renewed for a 6th season.

Tomorrow I'm going to pick up a book on hold at the library and take a friend to the credit union and grocery.  Otherwise I'm fairly free.  It's supposed to be very cold. Okay , that's all I can think of tonight.  Hope your week was pleasant,  even boring,  if it means all is well with your world. Good night.

And five completes the set

This time last year

I was finishing up an excellent evidence-based course for the family members and loved ones of those with mental illness (called Family-to-Family) presented by our local chapter of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). I subsequently underwent training to teach it, and spent most of the summer doing that.

Yesterday brought all that learning to the test, and not in a theoretical, academic way, but rather through real-world crisis. As I suspected, our lesson on communication was absolutely the most important one for dealing with someone endangered by their illness. The knowledge I had learned about illness, medication, and the mental health system also helped a great deal. In the aftermath, self-care became important as well, as yesterday was all about the other person’s needs, and I didn’t take any medicine, get much rest, barely ate, and only managed to get a shower late in the day. Today was about trying to get back on track and rest.

In retrospect, the main things I might have done differently was 1) contact the specific healthcare provider in this situation and alerted them to the episode. Instead I tried to handle it on my own, which, while making sure things didn’t escalate, perhaps the person would have been safer, and 2) stayed with the person for the duration of the episode. I did actually leave the person sleeping for a couple of hours to facilitate an agreed-upon option we had discussed. The person was asleep, and was the entire time I was gone, but in hindsight, I shouldn’t have left anyone in that situation alone, even for a bit.

But hindsight is 20/20, of course. I’ll learn from this. Crises of this type are thankfully, few and far between, and I think I have a better sense of the triggers and situations that contributed to it and can therefore be on the lookout for future problems.

I am very thankful for my boss, who came and asked me about how I was doing today. I’d e-mailed both bosses that I was having a family crisis and would most likely be back today. I explained what had happened. She was very supportive and reiterated the need to take care of myself.

Today has been a bit of a blur. I went into work early. My blood sugar was high from not taking my insulin yesterday (and I’ve been trying to stabilise it over the last few days anyway, as I’ve had some issues). I went out of the house today without the long-acting insulin, so that didn’t help. I’m not used to it being so high, and felt very torpid and had trouble feeling awake and alert most of the day. I did manage to do the most pressing things at work, but barely. I will have to play catch-up on my data entry tomorrow. When I got off work, I had a little trouble driving home—my blood sugar was a little high, but mainly, I was just that tired. I felt utterly drained. I came home, took my insulin, ate something, and then took time to get some rest, sleeping from about 6 pm to 8 pm. I feel marginally better.

So now I’m charging my phone, and I’m considering tackling the kitchen dishes and straightening up there a bit, because while the house is in better shape than it has been, it still needs some work. I arose from my nap feeling pretty decent; in the hour I’ve been up, I’ve gone back to feeling tired and spacey. I think I’ll go check my blood sugar and see if it’s okay, and then go from there. Maybe I should just put on some soothing music and relax. Emotions ran high yesterday, and while I was able to put them aside to some degree and function, I think there’s a rebound where what could have been sinks in and all the fears become absolutely real. My mind keeps going to the ‘what ifs’. Funny, in the game, in a difficult situation, I often freeze, afraid to make the wrong decision. In real life, I often go ahead and deal with the situation at the time, making decisions that may or may not be best, but which are utterly necessary at the time, and then I fall apart later. So today has been a sort of frenzied panic now that the situation is improved. Even last night, I was ready to run out of the door in shorts on a cold night due to a dropped call, where I thought the situation had escalated again. The only thing that allowed me to sleep was plenty of Loreena McKennitt music. So I think I’ll go try to relax, listen to the rain, and some music, and be glad that things stabilised, rather than playing the ‘what if’ game in my mind.

Good night.

I knew it as the opening for Civilization IV

I had no idea it was the Lord's Prayer in Swahili. Yes, I recognised it as African, but that was it. And this version is absolutely beautiful. Thanks to YKWIA for showing it to me:

Sad tonight

I won't go into why, but let's just say I hate seeing someone I love hurting and dealing with uncertainty. I just hope that this is all nothing, and that in the end, truth will prevail. But for now, I can just be there and be supportive. I just wish I could 'fix' this, and I can't. :(

By the way

So the first part of my birthday was a little like herding cats,  but it all turned out well in the end,  and I had some amazing Indian food at Masala with dessert at Baskin-Robbins thanks to some friends.  Then I came home and took some time to relax and spent some time reading birthday wishes.  So glad to have people in my life who love me.

Year 50

Yesterday was my 49th birthday, meaning I am now in the fiftieth year of my life.  It makes you think about where you are and where you're going.  I will have a lot of uncertainty in my life as the year progresses; this time next year I'll be 50, will have been at my job for 20 years,  and will be laid off from both positions when the hospital moves to the new medical centre and an ambulatory care model,  with no room or plan for a library. This makes me sad,  although at least was given some warning. Not everyone is so lucky.  My hope is to find a position that can use my skills,  flexibility,  and willingness to work as a team player to their fullest.  (And which has health insurance.) :) Wish me luck.

The car is fixed

It was the starter,  which now starts right up like a dream. I also had the EGR (Exhaust Gas Recirculation) valve sensor replaced so the check engine light would go out.  Grand total,  including parts and labour,  $433.65. I dare say that's the most expensive present I've ever bought for my birthday (which is in 18 minutes).  A coworker met me this morning and picked me up.  The one who was going to take me back but whose niece was born yesterday contacted someone in her department who was going to take me at 5 pm,  but someone else in the department was leaving earlier,  so I went with her. So it all worked out well,  and I didn't have to take the bus, yay!

I was going to wear a skirt tomorrow

But the winds are supposed to be 25 to 35 mph,  gusting to over 40. Maybe that's not such a great idea. #ThingsThatWomenandScottishMenDealWith