Traipsing into the hallowed halls of a men's club

Tonight I had an unusal experience, which I think has left me somewhat richer, although some might see it otherwise. Our former chairman of the board, as a means of saying thank you, hosted a dinner for all department mangers tonight. The dinner was excellent (I had the salmon, vegetables, salad, a peppermint ice cream dessert, and an interesting concoction called a "Hummer" involving Kalua, rum, creme de cocoa, and ice cream. Actually, I had two of those, as they were quite good and I wasn't driving. Having spent years being an unreasonable tea-totaller due to alcohol abuse in my family, I've decided to cultivate occasional social drinks without placing it into some sort of black/white framework). I had a good time, saw a lot of my colleagues in a more relaxed environment, etc. In the past, our chairman has treated us to dinner at area restaurants, especially those owned by friends who could use a boost to business. Tonight, however, we dined at the Lexington Club.

For those of you who are not aware of traditional men's clubs, these are places where primarily businessmen meet, drink, socialise, play cards, etc. in an essential network that helps you succeed in society. (By society, I mean the social "society" rather than the one that the majority of us live in). Many of these go back many years. The Lexington Club was founded, I believe, in 1890, if I remember the plaque on the door. As our chairman said, many a horse has been won over a game of cards in these walls. But the Club has also come under fire because it does not admit women to membership (although widows of members can hold social memberships that are non-voting). Women can dine there by invitation--apparently it's not quite as sacred a precinct as traditonal British clubs in say, the Edwardian age. While there is no prohibition per se against minorities, there are also no African-American members, although certainly every waiter we saw tonight was. [As an aside, their service was wonder, very attentive, yet openly interacting with the guests. For a moment I was afraid they were expected to be just a part of the window dressing, although I think there was a certain prestige in their jobs. Also there were other employees who were white, and one woman, but they seemed to be doing such things as checking and concierge work.] You can see where the controversy might arise. I respect the right of a private club to choose its members as it will (certainly I've been a member of a religious club that used just such a clause to keep out some of the more wacko elements that way--and just so you don't get the wrong idea, we didn't discriminate on basis of race, ethincity, gender, sexual orientation, etc., but did proscribe Satanism (not pagan--it's a Christian heresy), channelling, and possession-based practices (because they could be dangerous). The true wackos though we just rejected based on the "we don't think it would be a good fit" line, mainly because we didn't want them in our living rooms.) Still, the liberal in me is glad I wasn't paying any money to support it. I find I have mixed feelings. I can see where some in law, racing, medicine, and other forms of business might suffer if they cannot go through the network. Our chairman and another older member of their board apparently tried some time ago to foster a change to allow minorities and the majority of women (his words, not mine; he's a fine Southern gentleman who nevertheless calls things the way he sees them), only to be blocked by some of the younger members of the board. Which only goes to prove the narrow-mindedness is not a trait necessarily of the elderly.

Some other bastions of tradition have changed, after all. The Daughters of the American Revolution, for example, now state plainly that they encourage diversity. I'm sure you still have to prove you have an ancestor who served, as that is the point, and of course, for men there is a Sons of the American Revolution analogue. But if you're black and you had an ancestor that served, it's okay. I guess the Lexington Club wants to keep the status quo. Old Lexington feels threatened, I think, by things today. The city has grown immensely. And while horses and old money are still important to our economy, things have changed. Maybe the board voted as it did to reflect that fear of change. I am rather glad that our host told us about his attempts to bring about change. He's certainly part of a "good old boy network", but not hidebound. Still, it was an unusual experience and I'm not sure exactly what to make of it. I did find that I felt totally okay in terms of the social expectations, etiquette, etc.--except I did thank the wait staff each time I was served, and I don't think traditionally you're really supposed to. I just can't pretend people aren't really there; some times the best part of etiquette is knowing when and how to break the rules. But I did not feel nervous at all, although I think the woman who gave me a ride was a little overwhelmed. She's younger, and I don't think she was quite expecting the club in all it's Old Southern glory. I wasn't sure what type of establishment it was, but some intuition (and perhaps a dim memory of the story from the link above) made me suspect, so I guess I was prepared. I am rather glad I dressed well, although I did so primarily because I was chairing a professional meeting earlier in the day.

Anyway, it was interesting to observe their operations, and see some of my colleagues in a different light. But now, I'm home, getting ready to curl up with my animals and watch the Yule tree [yes, I did get it up, after repotting it, staking it, and--yes, I'm sure I'll regret this--festooning it with those old-fashioned icicles that we never used when I was a child no doubt because my mother knew better. But is very pretty. :)]

Good night.