Unshelved by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
comic strip overdue media

Friday, May 09, 2003

I don't get some people



I came home this evening and took Cerys, my dog, out. She went out into the courtyard about six feet from my patio and three feet from someone else's (the apartments are nice, but they're apartments, and I'm on a corner, so we're very close together). She pees. Suddenly I hear a blood-curdling screech from inside the other person's apartment and "does anyone know who's dog that is?!" at which point I move into view and say "she's mine, is there a problem". "My kids play there!" Um...well, yes, of course. Does she think the ground is sterile? Does she not realise that virtually every space in the city that is not enclosed (and much that is) has been urinated on at some point by a dog? Granted, I think that--I don't say that. I tell her, "she only peed" to reassure her, since she may have thought otherwise. Obviously one does not want a child to play in dog poop. Does she not see the baggie I carry for that? She goes, "well, I'll have to clean my carpet". Excuse me? She's not peeing on your damn carpet. She's peeing on the God-given earth as dogs were meant to, on a patch that could only cause problems for the carpet because it's already muddy and likely to be more so, given the storm clouds approaching. I shake my head and lead Cerys away from the crazy woman, who slams her door and closes her curtains. I consider if I have somehow commtted a faux pas of some sort, but after careful review I think it comes down to the fact that she's just a crazy bitch.

Less than an hour later a huge downpour causes about three inches of water to temporarily pool up in our part of the courtyard, surely to goodness washing the last trace of the terrible dog pee away before the precious darlings can be contaminated.

Maybe I would feel different if I were a mom, but really, kids are going to eat dirt. Dirt is going to be dirty. If your'e not comfortable with that, you might as well vacuum-seal them away from the beginning. Some doctors today say that our love affair with sterile environments are partly to blame for the upswing in childhood asthma and allergies. Somehow, with all the things that can hurt a child out there, I think dog pee is the least of our worries. If a person's going to be uptight about it, then it would be better to get a house or at least have an apartment in a place that doesn't allow pets. I'm careful about a lot of things that matter. I clean scoop poop. I've never put in the barrel water garden I've always wanted because a child can drown in a bucket of water. I don't plant pretty things like castor beans or monkshood because they could kill a child dead. I just didn't expect caterwauling over dog pee. Silly me.

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