:)

When the Manners Police Knock

We are self-appointed, and we wear the badge of moral righteousness. Some of us police the waterfront, and some of us, the mountaintop.

My jurisdiction is the doorways of public spaces. Why do people congregate there? In the presence of these clogged arteries, I become Lipitor Man. I have made strange beeping noises. I have robotically bleated: “Doorway! Doorway!” Once, after I had cleared two chatty bystanders from a tobacco shop entrance, one asked me, “Is this a feng shui thing?” I responded, “No, I’m just very, very passionate about egress.”