The idea that we have to suffer or live in poverty in order to be spiritual is an old one and can be found in the belief systems of many philosophies. Most of us carry this idea around subconsciously, and we may be holding ourselves back from financial or emotional well-being, believing that this is what we must do in order to be virtuous, spiritually awake, or feel less guilty for the suffering of others.
While it's true that there can be a spiritual purpose to experiencing a lack of material well-being, it is rarely intended to be a permanent or lifelong experience. What we are meant to find when material or emotional resources are in short supply is that there is more to our lives than the physical realm. Intense relationships and material abundance can distract us from the subtler realm of the spirit, so a time of deficiency can be spiritually awakening. However, once we recognize the realm of spirit, and remember to hold it at the center of our lives, there is no reason to dwell in poverty or emotional isolation. In fact, once our connection to spirit is fully intact, we feel so compelled to share our abundance that lack becomes a thing of the past.
If you find that you are experiencing suffering in some area of your physical life, perhaps your spirit is asking you to look deeper in your search for what you want. For example, if you want money so that you can experience the feeling of security but money keeps eluding you, your spirit may be asking you to understand that security is not to be found through money. Security comes from an unshakable connection to your soul. Once you make that connection, money will probably flow more easily into your life. If relationships elude you, your spirit may be calling you to recognize that the love you seek is not to be found in another person. And yet, ironically, once you find the love, your true love may very well appear. If you feel stuck in suffering to live a spiritual life, try to spend some time writing about it. The root of the problem will appear and it may not be what you expected. Remember, the Universe wants you to be happy.
I really rather think the Universe is indifferent, rather than wanting me to be happy. But, I think there's some truth to the above in my case, although only on the most superficial level. I want to be seen as more spiritual, more connected to the greater whole, and on some level want that for myself, too. But being poor and suffering have very different underlying reasons for me.
One, I am afraid of success. I feel as if in order to be a 'good girl' I must sacrifice all that I am and ever could be for others, partly because I don't believe I should or can succeed on my own, and partly out of the ability to be long-suffering and to make people feel sorry for me. Two, suffering is something in which I wallow and milk for all that it's worth for that same symapthy. By being pathetic, I can gain attention and support without truly taking responsibility for the drama that is largely caused by my own actions. A very good friend has, over the years, helped me to realise this, but it's still hard to admit, and a little shameful.
The question, of course, becomes whether I will ever stop this cycle of actions and events that keeps me from reaching my full potential both spiritually and materially. I would like to say yes, but my learning curve is somewhat flat at times, and past experience would disincline one from believing it. Still, one can hope for change, even if one fears it....
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