There are scores of people in the world who seem to be magnets for calamity. They live their lives jumping from one difficult situation to the next, surrounded by unstable individuals. Some believe themselves victims of fate and decry a universe they regard as malevolent. Others view their chaotic circumstances as just punishments for some failing within. Yet, in truth, neither group has been fated or consigned to suffer. They are likely unconsciously drawing drama into their lives, attracting catastrophe through their choices, attitudes, and patterns of thought. Drama, however disastrous, can be exciting and stimulating. But the thrill of pandemonium eventually begins to frustrate the soul and drain the energy of all who embrace it. To halt this process, we must understand the root of our drama addiction, be aware of our reactions, and be willing to accept that a serene, joyful life need not be a boring one.
It can be a real challenge, especially if you happen to be bipolar or borderline (depending on which diagnosis is correct, or if it's both), to find a serene, joyful life. I haven't figured it out yet. But I hope to. Number one, I guess, is to stop making bad decisions and use my brain that has been subject to my own intellectual laziness and also a tendency to do anything that will hurt me in the short or long run due to the fact that I don't believe I deserve better.
Just some thoughts spilling over this morning. Ironically, the rest of this daily--well, I guess it's akin to those inspirational quotes from the Bible, except New Agey--involves using a journal to explore our need for drama and to learn serenity. I should probably blog more about my thoughts and feelings here than I do; it is, after all, may main journalling outlet. And goodness knows, I've blogged about enough sensitive topics that I already come off as a total loon. (Well, I hope I come across as a decent professional who struggles with issues in her personal life, but that's another discussion entirely).
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