Unshelved by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
comic strip overdue media

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

10 things gas station attendants really wish you'd do (or not do)

10. Please do not drive away from the pump to get up closer to the store. You're really not making room for someone else. You probably just don't want to walk in the cold. But for us, it looks like someone's driven off.
9. Please do not drive away from the pump and go get a car wash before paying for your gas. This is assinine at worst, clueless at best. Just pay for your gas like everyone else does and you'll do fine. Again, it looks like a drive off and causes extra work that backs up the line when you do come in.
8. You should be getting the whole, don't drive off thing by now. We will report you, and you will go to jail unless you come in and pay what you owe. It's called theft, people. Here in Kentucky, they'll also take your licence away.
7. If you do drive off, don't leave the nozzle on the ground. Sure, it's more stealthy, but it means one of us has to schlep our butts out into the cold to hang the stupid thing up.
6. Don't decide after you've been rung up that you suddenly don't have any desire for the sweets you got and want peanuts instead. That's a refund, something that sometimes only a manager can do, depending on the station. And it's an assinine reason for a refund. All sales final. Just get the peanuts and eat the Hostess cakes later.
5. Don't expect to be able to break a $100 blithely. We are a gas station. Gas stations get robbed. Most gas stations don't keep that much money in the drawer and may not be able to break that hundred. Go to a grocery store or discount store. They have lots more money on hand. Or better yet, try a bank.
4. Please don't get mad if the pump doesn't print out your receipt. If it were under our control, the problem would probably be fixed by now. Keep in mind that machinery goes down in the cold. Sure, it may just have run out of paper, but there are other reasons. Sometimes it's hard to get out to the pumps when you have a line, for one thing.
3. Don't get bent out of shape when we don't carry a product you can easily get at one or two stores in the vicinity. I work right next to a Kroger and a Wal-Mart, yet the other day a girl was all distressed because we had regular, 2%, even chocolate milk, but no fat free. In retrospect, maybe I should have checked to see if we had skim. Yeah, I know they're the same. I'm not sure she did.
2. Just because you have had a bad day, don't take it out on the first low-paying flunkie you see. We don't get paid near enough to deal with your shit. We don't work to get abused. We work to feed our families and pay our bills. We want to make the store a good place for you to come, but nothing excuses bad behaviour on the part of either clerk or customer.
1. Did I do the whole don't drive off thing? Oh, yes. Well, here's the last thing. Remember that clerks are people, not machines. Treat them that way. I think everyone out there should work retail or fast food at some point in his or her life. You'll find you treat other people in the biz with greater respect.

Well, that's my turn on the soapbox for the night. :)

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