I'm feeling better

I have tried to be proactive and have taken steps to try to deal with and alleviate my depression, and as a result, I am feeling quite a bit better.

My psychiatrist upped my lamotrigine up to 50 mg of each dose (I take two a day). So that's 100 mg in an increased amount of medicine, and I think that has helped the most in the short term.  Let's face it, much of my mood issues are a result of brain chemistry. I see him six weeks from our last visit, so late March, and I've already made that appointment with his office (ours are usually telehealth).

I met with my new therapist last Saturday and really liked her.  She was nearly gleeful when she discovered I prefer cognitive or dialectical behavioural therapy and do well with 'homework'. We're going to actually start on anxiety and frustration coping techniques first because when she put me through the same test I'd taken the week before, it came out more anxiety (which is my usual problem), and it all fuels my depression. I see her again today. She has in-person and telehealth visits, but for now, we're meeting in person, as I think that is more helpful at times with a therapist.  For example, when I told her about the test, the DASS-21, she immediately downloaded it and had me take it.

I tried to meet with the counsellor from Able To, a programme through my insurance, but her phone calls wouldn't come through even though I did not have 'Do Not Disturb' on and they were going straight to voicemail. We managed to connect through voicemails and phone tagging to reschedule for next Tuesday. I think it may have something to do with T-Mobile's scam blocker, which is very useful but might have been over-enthusiastic.  Now that she is in my contacts, I'm thinking it won't be an issue.  But I'm going to check and see if I have to do anything to whitelist her number.

As a result the behaviour coach for Thursday didn't happen either.  I think she rescheduled both, although I'm not sure. It just never happened, no notices, no phone calls.  So hopefully that will happen next Thursday.  I want to try to work on the depression angle with the two insurance counsellors.

I bought a Voraiya UV-free 10,000 Lux therapy lamp and it arrived yesterday.  I used it for 10 minutes this morning, and plan to work up over the next week to 30 minutes a day in the morning, assuming I can get out of bed in time.  And it doesn't have to be 30 minutes all at once. Just now I had it off to the side. It's okay apparently to use my ant-glare prescription glasses so I can type, etc.  I have a slight headache, but that apparently becomes less of a problem as time goes by.  It wasn't as pricey as I thought (I think it was only $35 from Amazon.  There is a slight risk with these lamps as far as years of use for macular degeneration, a disease that robs you of some of your eyesight and is usually found in older people.  Both my mom and grandmother had it. I've never had signs, and I'll double-check with my ophthalmologist, but it is caused by exposure to a form of ultraviolet light, and this is supposed to be UV free. So hopefully that's fine.

So for now, I think taking immediate steps has helped.  I got up this morning, ate a banana, drank a glass of water, took my medicine with it, took my insulin, and now I'm going to go to the store for creamer, make my friend's coffee in the percolator (I do that on Saturday, as he is Jewish and observant), and then take a shower and get ready for my therapy appointment at 11 am.  At 1 pm I have an appointment with Tire Discounters for an oil change [my poor car, I knew it was overdue--I've gone 7,000 miles, but upon looking at the sticker, I realised it hasn't been done not in the last year, but in 2021, at least at Tire Discounters (I may have had my mechanic do it, and I have checked my oil and added as needed regularly), tyre rotation, windshield-wiper change (my driver's side is absolutely shredded), and to see if they can raise my driver's window.  The power window fell when I lowered the other night and is totally in the door.  I could cover it against the rain, but my main issue is that I can't lock the car.  I have an ADA (handicapped) placard for general use and a similar hangtag for parking at the University of Kentucky.  I'm afraid they will be taken, I'll get a citation (which is very pricey), and I'll have to have them replaced.  I don't need it fixed just now (it could be the switch, but it could be the motor and either is somewhat pricey, and I'd rather have my regular mechanic do that); I'm just trying to lock the car at this point by raising the window and keeping it closed.  After that, I'm going to try to get my hair trimmed, as it's starting to curl out of a pixie cut and I have an $8 coupon for a haircut.

Okay, I should get dressed and go get the creamer.  I still have to make the coffee (which takes about a half an hour with the percolator), go get the creamer, try to caffeinate, take a shower, and then do this whirlwind of tasks today.  Have a great weekend.