I'm interested in what happens tomorrow concerning this case

Kentucky Clerk Who Said ‘No’ to Gay Couples Won’t Be Alone in Court

Kim Davis, the Rowan County clerk who refuses to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples here, is the best known of them, at least for now.

But there is also Charlie Smoak, a former magistrate in Moore County, N.C. And Nick Williams, a probate judge in Washington County, Ala. And Molly Criner, a clerk in Irion County, Tex., who has declared that “natural marriage cannot be redefined by government.”

All of them have argued that as government employees, they should not be required to recognize same-sex marriage, citing religious objections. And all have turned, for representation, to Liberty Counsel, a legal nonprofit that has been on the front lines of the same-sex marriage fight for roughly two decades.

I fell asleep (imagine!)

at about 8 pm, and woke up feeling like it must be 2 am or later, when it was only 10:30 pm. My mouth was terribly dry so I got up for something to drink and I'm eating the last of the cereal and milk; I love cereal at night for some reason. I think it's because my grandfather always ate it then. Of course, he also put cornbread in buttermilk, and I despise buttermilk, so hey, go figure. We pick and choose our endearing moments, I guess.

The air conditioner is apparently completely fixed. They changed out the compressor motor, which was bad. So now it's set on 76 and it's 75 degrees in here and I'm comfortable. Amazing what a difference a couple of degrees makes, but more importantly, it's not humid or stuffy like it was. Since September has already been hotter on average than August was, this is a good thing. Still, cool weather must be on its way soon. I wore a dress today because 1) I didn't want to take the time to switch purses and it matches and 2) pretty soon I won't be wearing dresses at all. It is a pretty light dress with lots of purple, blue, and green splashes over a lavender shell, with a irregular hem that comes up in a slit on the front right. I get a lot of compliments on it. I probably spent $10-$12 on it at Gabriel Brothers last year. :) The only problem with wearing a dress, as opposed to a skirt, when you have diabetes is figuring out how best to give yourself a shot so you don't expose yourself. I hate going into the bathroom to do that--it doesn't seem very sterile. With a skirt or pants I can do it quite discreetly; today I just had to pick times when no one was looking, turn around, and use that slit to the dress well. Hey, it worked. The other thing I hate about wearing dresses, or skirts, for that matter, is that every time I get up from a seat, I'm afraid I'll get my dress hung up on my butt, or in the case of the bathroom, in my underwear. I did that once. I went out of Blimpie's restroom at Euclid and Rose, and walked all the way up the street past the fine arts building and up to the president of the University of Kentucky's house, when a nice lady pulled over her car and quietly informed me that my skirt was hiked up in my underwear. I was so embarrassed, yet so glad she stopped and told me. Really, after you've aired yourself down a major thoroughfare (and this was before they blocked off one end of the street, so it was even busier), you lose a certain amount of shame.

I'm glad we're over the hump towards a long weekend. Tomorrow I should have that ergonomic assessment and get a better idea of things I can do to help my hands, neck, and back. I downloaded some articles and put one through interlibrary loan (hey, I'm a patron, too, or more correctly, a patroness) on wrist bracing in carpal tunnel and arthritis. It apparently helps either. They're not sure exactly what's wrong with my hands--the EMG does read mild carpal tunnel, but whether it has returned after release surgery or if that's residual, it's hard to say. I did not get immediate relief from the cortisone injections, which should have helped if it was carpal tunnel. What is helping is the bracing. I didn't use the brace for the two and a half hours I 'napped' just now, and I can tell a difference. The night bracing, especially, is helping. I'm not so sure about the day bracing, when I'm using my hands. I'll ask the occupational therapist tomorrow if she thinks they're useful. It may be just having something like an ergonomic keyboard, such as the one I'm using now, would help at work. But during the day, my wrists really hurt. The compression of the Smart Glove does help a bit, and they hurt more when it's off, but on the other hand, I don't want to weaken my hands by bracing too much. I have a back brace, too, but wear it only when I'm doing something that requires a lot of back use, rather than all the time, because it can weaken the muscles. The same thing can happen to the hands. But I did find a set of exercises that help, too. (7 Hand Exercises to Ease Arthritis Pain)

I think I'll check on the news and see if there's anything good (is there ever? rarely). Then I'll head back to bed. Good night. But I leave you with this, a silly song that brings a smile to my face every time I hear it:

So I finished the following book today

and I must say, it was very enlightening. It's called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. In it Dweck asserts that there are two basic mindsets: fixed and growth. Those with a fixed mindset believe that intelligence and talent are set at birth, that talent means you should be able to do something without effort, and thus putting effort into school or other activities shows you're actually not smart or talented. It's a very judging, black and white mentality. It's all about proving your'e perfect, the best, and so you don't take risk or try something hard, because you might fail. The growth mindset, on the other hand, rises to challenges, rebounds from disappointments, and fundamentally keeps trying (through honest effort) until something is learned or achieved.

The book is full of people who are examples of of each mindset, whether CEOs of companies, athletes, or students in school. Much of the book goes into the description of the mindsets, but there's also a part on how to change your mindset from fixed to growth, to become a learner rather than a non-learner, to expand the possibilities in your career, education, and relationships with others. It was recommended by my psychologist, who instantly picked up that I have a very fixed mindset. According to Dweck, these mindsets are often apparent in kindergartners. We shower children with praise for being smart or being talented, without praising them for hard work and effort, and as a result, they become fixed in their mindset, afraid that by failing they will lose that adulation and that they will, in essence be failures (rather than simply failing, two totally different things). This was the most important passage for me personally, the one that had the most meaning for me, from page 225:

They [Karen Horney and Carl Rogers] believed that when young children feel insecure about being accepted by their parents, they experience great anxiety. They feel lost and alone in a complicated world. Since they're only a few years old, they can't simply reject their parents and say, "I think I'll go it alone." They have to find a way to feel safe and to win their parents over. Both Horney and Rogers proposed that children do this by creating or imagining other "selves," ones that their parents might like better. These new selves are what they think the parents are looking for and what may win them the parents' acceptance.

Furthermore, the child then, having created this perfect self, both confuses their creation with their real self and also feels like if they can't live up to that perfect self, they are worthless. This so explains something about me. I was desperate for my parents' approval, and never felt I was good enough to win it, but tried to be the perfect 'good girl'. Over time, when I did not feel loved, I simply decided that I there was apparently something terribly wrong with me, and I didn't deserve it. Like those with fixed mindsets in Dweck's book, I coasted for a long time, being the smart kid who didn't really need to expend effort, and then I hit college, and things got a lot harder. With a growth mindset, I could have done so much more in school. Yes, I got a bachelor's, and even a master's degree. I failed to get the PhD I wanted because of several factors, including anxiety and other mental issues, but primarily because of mindset. I wish I'd read this book 30 years ago, that it had been around then. But it's not too late to cultivate a growth mindset--and burn the 'good girl' perfect creation in effigy and reclaim myself, the smart, great kid that many people would have loved to have had, but unfortunately was practically raised by wolves. Reading this book, and especially that section, was a 'wah-wah' moment, like Helen Keller and the water at the pump. It neatly put together the very things YKWIA has been trying to teach me about myself for years. That's why I'm glad I took that Amazon credit and got this on my Kindle--I should re-read the part of the book on builidng a growth mindset frequently. This way, it's almost always with me. :)

This is so incredibly sad

Khaled al-Asaad, The Martyr Of Palmyra

A second ancient temple at Palmyra has been razed, with a satellite image appearing to confirm the destruction of the Temple of Bel, previously one of the best-preserved parts of the ancient city.

The revelation follows the release of images by Islamic State last week showing the Baalshamin temple had been blown up.

IS militants seized control of Palmyra in May, sparking fears for the 2,000-year-old World Heritage site. Ancient ruins are not all that has been lost.

Khaled al-Asaad, the 81-year old former director of the world-renowned archaeological site at Palmyra in Syria, was beheaded in August. His body was hung on a street corner by Islamic State for everyone to see.

Prior to his death, al-Asaad and his son Walid, the current director of antiquities, had been detained for a month. They had been tortured as their captors tried to extract information about where treasures were to be found.

Walid’s fate remains unknown.

A pretty decent day--maybe things are starting to turn around for me

I worked very steadily today, both for the library and the revenue cycle, and in fact forgot to call about the air conditioning because I was busy. Oddly enough, it's sitting more than a degree cooler than it was this morning, after I've had it off all day. It's 78 degrees and just a bit stuffy, so I went into the bedroom and turned the fan on, and am typing this on the laptop. So that's not so bad.

My main goal tonight was to call my student loan servicer; I was scheduled to default as of tomorrow and right now I have slightly under $2 between both my bank accounts, so I couldn't make a payment. But I called anyway. A few months ago they'd told me there was nothing they could do. This time I was able to get a temporary forbearance so I could renew my income-driven status. So, yay. I'm going to try to get back on track. Also, the physical therapy office I went to audited my account and found an overpayment of $40, so they sent me a cheque. So yay again, I can get gas and something to eat. I am sooooooo tired of peanut butter sandwiches.

It looks like YKWIA and A don't really need me tonight, so I actually am at home early in the evening--and I'm not sleepy, my back isn't hurting, etc., etc. I am hungry. Part of me wants to go put the cheque in the ATM and get something cheap but satisfying like Taco Bell, but the other part of me says to eat the macaroni and cheese I have here and save the rest for tomorrow. I think I'll stick with the latter. Or I could make mini-farfalle and put some sauce on it. I'm good on pasta; there isn't much else in the house, except cheese and tortillas, a small bag of potatoes, and a little cereal and milk. Okay, I'll be back. Must go make something to eat.

Hmmm... baked potatoes with butter, salt, pepper, and cheese (but sadly, no sour cream). Still...I think that's the winner.

This makes me so happy!

Supreme Court denies Rowan clerk's emergency petition over issuing marriage licenses

http://www.kentucky.com/2015/08/31/4014039/decision-day-rowan-clerk-must.html

First World problems

I'm beginning to think there is something wrong with my air conditioning.  Usually my thermometer reads two or so degrees less than whatever I have it set on. I got home an hour ago, and it's been running constantly on auto/cool. It's set on 75 degrees. It is almost 79 in here. I'll keep an eye on it; the next three days are supposed to be hotter than today. In the meantime I got some ice water,  changed into shorts and a tank top,  and put my beside fan on the middle setting rather than the lowest.

UPDATE: I think it ran all night and was actually warmer this morning!

:)

The Rolling Stones, 'Paint It, Black'

And this...

Ewan MacColl & Peggy Seeger, 'The Ballad of Accounting'

Listening to:

'Castle of Glass' by Linkin Park