asked about getting diagnosed with ADHD or autism in later life and how someone went about it. So I wrote this. It seemed the best way to explain what's been going on here:
I had a friend we heavily suspected was autistic, and my roommate was reading an article to educate himself in interacting with him, when he realised it all applied to me, then had me read it without bias, and I realised it applied to me, right down to the clumsiness (lack of proprioception awareness). I was poleaxed. I'd already been diagnosed a decade before with ADHD at 48 and was on medication [both diagnosis and medicine had been covered by my work health plan]. I began to look at online resources and tried to find local places to seek a diagnosis. Someone online mentioned Embrace Autism, which was great--I highly recommend her site, and I took the validated tests and came out pretty much squarely autistic, which increased my drive to seek out an actual psychological diagnosis locally, but it was really hard. The only place I could initially find was a college in another town (I have driving anxiety), but they had a 5-year wait. I'm in central Kentucky in the US. Finally, I found a private psychologist who did assessments. Still, since my insurance does not cover autism assessments (she does not take insurance anyway), I socked more money into my flexible spending account at work this year. I used it for the assessment since it is a behavioural health expenditure that is covered by that; it's just out of pocket. After several sessions of interviews, observations, and a variety of testing (including a questionnaire for a friend who had known me for 40 years--my family had all pretty much passed away), I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 in March, right before my 58th birthday, with the full report received last month. All told, it was about $1300. People ask me why I did it. Partly, it makes everything make more sense. I wasn't just the ugly ducky-nay, ostrich trying to make it in a swan world. And it helps me try to figure out how to make the rest of my work years work. I've had some trouble with changes going on at work, with new responsibilities and changes in jobs over the last few years. I used to be a librarian; now I work in a busy clinic, and it's very different, and I'm struggling. I'm trying to find ways to navigate that. I'm trying to strengthen relationships and basically figure out how to act like my brain is more together than it has been without being inauthentic. I've masked so long I don't even know who I am anymore, or who I ever even was. This gives me a chance to figure out before it's too late. I couldn't figure out the masking thing at first and then it hit me that when you do it, you're not just say, modeling off of one person, you're modeling off of more than one, plus people you see on TV, plus anyone you meet, and you lose all sense of self, to the point where you bury the real you. Not only is that exhausting, but that person is so far down, there's almost no way to unpeel the layers to get to them. When I was young and depressed from my homelife, I'd surpressed emotions and personality to the point I'd had to find the real me and almost had to be dragged out of a whole fantasy world I'd been hiding in (hyperfixation to a high degree I guess), and I'd thought that was bad, and now I have to consider that even then with masking I wasn't completely finding the real me. Now I'm going to focus on getting to the person I would have been. Not the person who I would have been 'if only I'd been diagnosed earlier' or 'if only they'd seen the signs'. But the person I always was. Just me. But still able to function at work, still able to not freak people out by being too weird. I have friends who love me even though they know I'm weird, and I cherish them, even though I sometimes frustrate them to no end. I couldn't try to do that if I didn't know about my autism. It's the first step. One of the first recommendations of the psychologist was to find a therapist (who did take my insurance) who is versed in autism challenges, which I have done, and we're working on that. Another was to find a community, either online or locally in person, or both, and this group is part of that, where I can be myself. I hope that helps.
The psychologist I went to was very thorough, had a clear understanding of neurodivergence, and I would highly recommend her. Here is her contact information, if you are in the Lexington area:
Neurodiversity Consultants LLC713 Millpond Rd, Suite 12
Lexington, KY 40514-1570
859.780.3805
https://neurodiversityconsultantsllc.com/
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