This is so refreshing

I was lucky to have an education in history and classical studies, and I participated in the Honours Program at UK, a Great Books programme, not quite a major, not quite a minor, it's just on my diploma as a separate course of study, which included not just great literature but the gamut of philosophy from ancient to modern times. Add library science into that, and you've got critical thinking, critical analysis of sources, and expertise in finding resources in various media, as well as cataloguing them in ways to make sure they can be found. So...this is really refreshing in a world of AI and short videos where teens challenge each other to eat laundry pods. He's really right. What the world of business needs is not automatons who can do cookie-cutter tasks that can be replaced by technology; they need people who can think outside the box and think better than a computer...and that means they need to analyse things better than artificial intelligence as only a human mind can. That you get from things like, you get it, the humanities, philosophy, all those majors that get no love. Or, for that matter, just reading wonderful books. We have all the knowledge of human history practically available at our fingertips on the internet, and we use it for the stupidest things. Any of us can educate ourselves and become well-read, and it's a shame that so many people take absolutely no advantage of it.

As CEOs predict AI will rival humans in 5 years, Shark Tank’s Daniel Lubetzky tells Gen Z to get off TikTok and study Greek philosophers to get ahead

T - 4 days and I'm stressed out

My stress level is not anywhere near where I was in July, where I literally did not sleep more than three or four hours for four days before the surgery, and then the night before got one hour of sleep. I was so worked up that I couldn't text anyone because the myoclonic tics/spasms I get from stress and lack of sleep were so bad I was double-tapping the phone, and I couldn't text for about four days. Since my roommate had called and not gotten through to people (well, once he got voicemail, and he doesn't leave voicemails--I really should put my friend Brenda in charge of updates), no one knew how I was doing for days.

However, according to my roommate, I'm stressed; he can tell. And my watch yesterday said my stress was moderate to high at times. My tics are back, too, not as severe as they were by any means, but they're there, and I have had very few in the month since the last surgery, where I've been off work and much more relaxed.

I know what to expect. I know it'll most likely be fine. They do a lot of these surgeries, and even though it's a fairly big one, it's become commonplace. But my anxiety is still rearing its big, ugly head. My roommate and I talked a little bit about it over dinner last night, and I do feel better. I promised not to go into 'try to control everyone's actions around me' mode again, because I will get booted to a rehab facility at best or the street at worst if that happens again, he has assured me. I promise nothing under the influence of medication, but I promised to be a model patient otherwise. Last time, while I didn't mean to, I wouldn't listen to people and kept trying to do things my own way, or at least that's how he took it. Actually, it's just that I'm incredibly bad at asking fo help, because in the past I've done so and been made to feel stupid, so I don't want to feel stupid, and so the consequence is I go boldly forward with my own idea and...wind up doing something stupid, because I don't have the information I need, like the aide needs to turn the alarm off the bed before I reach for something at the foot of it, for example. Anyway, my goal is to get through this one smoother in terms of interactions with my friend, who was quite wroth with me last time over that (but who still took very excellent care of me, having been a professional CNA back in the day). Hopefully, the surgery will go well, and the recovery will go just as well on the right as on the left.

I will say that Baptist and Dr. Talwalkar's office has been wonderful. Their protocols did so much for my recovery. The nerve block pump, for example, that I went home with and kept for five days, had me up and moving quicker, so I didn't care that I was on that ROMTech bike three times a day or going to PT the day after being released from the hospital and moving that knee around that much. I just wasn't in a super amount of pain. My pain never exceeded a 7 or maybe an 8 at the worst, which was where I was before the surgery, all the time, pretty much, and mostly stayed about a 5. Recently, it's been a 1-2. I did have an increase in pain when the ROMTech bike started increasing resistance by one minute, and it really made it more difficult for my knee. They videoed in yesterday and asked me how it was going, and I told them I was struggling and was just honest that I was only doing it twice a day and it was hurting. They changed the treatment plan, knocking off two minutes of resistance, saying it was better to do the exercise three times a day at a lower amount of resistance because, while they want to build up strength, moving the knee as much as possible is more important. Next week, the plan will change again; they're going to send me a new code and download a new plan for the post-surgery treatment for the right knee, but he's aware of this, and he said that it would still give me the ability to get more sessions in than I would have been otherwise.

Meanwhile, I'm practising (both in PT and at home), taking stairs on the opposite feet as normal. You know how you go up on your good foot and down on your bad? Well, all my life, my good one has been my right, my bad has been my left. That is about to switch. I have discovered that going up on my left is a matter of strength, and we've been doing strengthening exercises that have helped, and they seem to be working. Going down is another matter. I have trouble with control and making sure I don't fall, and it's harder. So I really need to practice with my quad cane more. I've got a few days here, plus one more PT appointment, before I come home from surgery.

So I'm doing all I can do to be prepared. I've got this. No need to worry, right?

So

For those not in the loop, the second surgery is also a total knee replacement. This will be the right leg. The plan was to do them six weeks apart, and be off work around 12 weeks. Turns out they were pressed to get me in; the original date they could get me in for the second surgery was October 15th, which was supposed to be the last day of my leave. Cheryl, the surgery coordinator at Baptist, said she would speak with Dr. Talwalkar to see if maybe he could do it on another day when he had administration duties instead. Then she called back, and I don't know what sort of magic they did, but they put me down for September 3rd, on his normal surgery day, so they must have added me on somewhere. That's at five weeks, but I've been doing so well with the other leg, so I think it'll work pretty well. I'm feeling pretty good about it, just a little nervous, which I guess is silly, but hey, I guess it's to be expected. Anyway, that's where I'll be on Wednesday, and then I'll come home on Thursday. Think good thoughts for me, okay? Thanks!

Finally got it all together

Had my first day of showering with chlorhexidine disinfectant soap. I have to do that every day and then use the chlorhexidine wipes the night before and morning of. I can't shave for the last 3 days till surgery, either. So we're in that prep window now. I also finally have drivers set up for the pre-op PT, surgery day, release from the hospital the next day after a 23-hour observation, and the post-op PT the day after that next week. Thank you to Glen, Brenda, and Stephanie for helping with that. It really has put my mind at rest. My stress levels were starting to go up. I know what to expect with the surgery, etc., of course, but that was the one thing I still hadn't gotten taken care of. I think we're in good shape now.

Feeling good

Week four, and my incision is finally to the point where I can wear pants that aren't super wide. These are a little big on me now, but they used to be so form-fitting that the only way I could get them off was to peel them off wrong side out. 😅 I think they're 22s and I wear an 18/20 now. Mostly. You know how women's sizes go. They may even be a 24. I didn't look. I can still wear them as long as I don't overload the pockets. But I was a 30/32, so that is a big change. But I'm trying to wear pants instead of shorts now just in case a dog forgets him/herself and gets up on me. They don't want any open wounds for surgery in case of infection, especially near the surgical site. The dogs have been really good, the closest was yesterday one got onto the bed with me when my roommate left my barrier down (my door has reached that time of the year when it won't stay closed on its own, so we use a dog gate, and he pushed his way in, because he loves me and my bed). Actually, the cat has been the closest to getting me, as when he's hungry he does these little bites, and he almost got my ankle the other day. Still, I'm just being careful, keeping an eye out, and wearing pants till surgery, even the skinny ones, except on PT days, which I only have one more before surgery.

Go me!

So I was at my new PCP's office (my old one is retiring after 51 years in practice, and about 25 years as my doctor 🙁), and the resident [the doctor, who I've seen as my weight management doctor for three years but is also an internist was running late because another patient came in late (I saw her come in, and that's fine, she was in a wheelchair and looked like she needed a lot of help, and the resident was really thorough)] upon doing my history, went over my recent labs that were done at my pre-op appointment. I asked about my hA1c because, you know, that's always a concern for diabetics and it had been much lower than in the past before the last surgery, 6.4%, which was amazing, and this time it was 5.96%!!!!!!! And if you look below it is in the 'high, but in the 'increased risk for diabetes' range if I didn't already have diabetes. Go me! And go Mounjaro. It's been doing so well with my blood glucose that I've been taking insulin of either type about two or three times a week at most, if that--basically if my blood sugar goes over 200, and my endocrinologist is fine with that. She said I could probably go off the insulin if this keeps up.

Unfortunately, I did go off the Mounjaro a little early for the next surgery since I'd last taken it a week before I found out about the next one, so I didn't take it at the two-week mark, and if you go three weeks, they start you back at all over to prevent side effects. I didn't know that. I think I only missed two weeks last time. Anyway, she's put in a lower Rx, but that won't control as well, so I may need to go back to using more insulin for a while. And it's possible I can get the same control on a lower dose of the Mounjaro, too, so I'm not taking the highest dose like I was. I'm down to 217 lbs. I'm not sure how much weight I need to go down to. 200? 180? Certainly not to 145, my supposed 'target' weight. I don't know. That's something I need to start thinking about. With all the adjustments, I may not lose any more for a while anyway. I'm eating very healthfully and not very much right now, and not losing, mainly, I suspect, due to all the swelling I've been having due to my surgery. It's finally coming down to pre-surgery levels. Anyway, I'm thrilled about the hA1c. At my highest, in October 2018, I was at 9.1%, which was awful, out-of-control, and damaging.

I so

Overdid it this weekend, and I'm paying for it tonight. I've only been able to do the ROMTech bike once yesterday and today due to all I did yesterday, the resulting soreness, and the additional resistance that they added to my treatment plan. Both knees and hips are hurting. I've taken Tylenol but I think something stronger is going to be needed at bedtime. I've only taken 8 of those pills in the 25 days since my surgery, so I feel pretty good about that. I am not driving since my car is down for now, so that's not an issue. But I've tried to rest most of the day and have done very little and I'm still so wiped out I'm too tired to do a jigsaw puzzle online. It's the only thing left to do on my to-do list except my night meds. Whew. 

Some good news

Aspen Trees In Yellowstone Are Flourishing For the First Time In 80 Years — Thanks To Gray Wolves

So scary

DOGE Targeted Him on Social Media. Then the Taliban Took His Family

It sickens me that our government is putting people in such danger.

Sigh

So apparently I overdid it yesterday, which I guess isn't surprising. I was bored, so I did all that housework, and that was a mistake. It's not my knee that is really hurting (although it is a bit), but rather my back. I am really tight above my knees, as if my quads are telling me, Really, again? Anyway, I'm going to try to take it easy today. I'm up taking my meds and drinking some fluids, but after that, I may lie back in bed. I got up and made coffee, and got my friend up (and he's moving slow). He's studying via Zoom with friends now and probably will for a couple of hours at least, so I'm just going to rest, and he agrees I should. Afterwards, when he can be attentive, I need to practice going up the step with the left leg. My right leg has been my 'good' leg since high school, and of course, you go up on the 'good' leg, down on the 'bad' one, but once the next surgery happens, the left will be the 'good'. The thing is, it just had surgery, so it needs strengthening, and the right still needs strengthening before surgery as well, so I have new exercises to do as well. But I think going up and down the stairs will help, though I found out in PT it's hard, especially at first.

Listening to:

Pox Romana by Colin Elliott.

In the middle of the second century AD, Rome was at its prosperous and powerful apex. The emperor Marcus Aurelius reigned over a vast territory that stretched from Britain to Egypt. The Roman-made peace, or Pax Romana, seemed to be permanent. Then, apparently out of nowhere, a sudden sickness struck the legions and laid waste to cities, including Rome itself. This fast-spreading disease, known now as the Antonine plague, may have been history’s first pandemic. Soon after its arrival, the Empire began its downward trajectory toward decline and fall. In Pox Romana, historian Colin Elliott offers a comprehensive, wide-ranging account of this pivotal moment in Roman history.

Did a single disease—its origins and diagnosis still a mystery—bring Rome to its knees? Carefully examining all the available evidence, Elliott shows that Rome’s problems were more insidious. Years before the pandemic, the thin veneer of Roman peace and prosperity had begun to crack: the economy was sluggish, the military found itself bogged down in the Balkans and the Middle East, food insecurity led to riots and mass migration, and persecution of Christians intensified. The pandemic exposed the crumbling foundations of a doomed Empire. Arguing that the disease was both cause and effect of Rome’s fall, Elliott describes the plague’s “preexisting conditions”—Rome’s multiple economic, social, and environmental susceptibilities; recounts the history of the outbreak itself through the experiences of physician, victim, and political operator; and explores post-pandemic crises. The pandemic’s most transformative power, Elliott suggests, may have been its lingering presence as a threat both real and perceived.

I've been busy cleaning house today

and decided I really needed to get on the ROMTech bike, and surprise, they added an extra minute to the resistance section, which doesn't seem like much, but I wasn't sure I was going to finish. So it's four minutes passive, four minutes active, six minutes resistance, and one minute active. I had it on pedal radius 3 out of 6. Maybe I need to drop down to 2, because it was a lot. I went from a one pain level to a three in 15 minutes, which doesn't seem like much, but it seemed a lot at the time. I'd like to take a nap, but I'm babysitting the animals while my roommate is over at a friend's house. He left at 9 am on the bus, and so I've been out here with the dogs (and cat) all day, letting them out, etc.  I made him coffee on the stove before he left and woke him up, of course.  After he left, I: 

1. Fed the animals.
2. Let the dogs out throughout the day.
3. Called ROMTech and gave them a heads-up about the upcoming surgery.
4. Laundered my clothes.
5. Laundered the dog blankets.
6. Swept the house.
7. Mopped the tile in the bathroom and kitchen.
8. Put the toaster I used for my breakfast bagel this morning away.
9. Cleaned the bathroom.
10. Laundered the towels, cleaning cloths, and mop head.
11. Washed dishes from today.
12. Filled up the hand soap and dish soap.

Among all the other little things I did today. I am tired. I'm still going to fold my laundry and put it away, as well as some I did midweek that's in a hamper already folded. Tomorrow I'll gather the trash from the bathroom and bedrooms together for him to take out, maybe.  That's his chore; I'm not allowed to do since I fell off the porch, but on the other hand, he can't carry anything outside on the sabbath. So today is not the day. He already did the rest of the trash and the cat little yesterday, I think it was. I've put the dog blankets back down. I might wash his bedding if he'd like.  And I should maybe do some dusting.  But I think that's all the normal chores short of the normal dishes. So I'm back to doing things around the house, at least for now, as long as I don't really lift or stand for long periods of time. If only my car were running so I could drive! But of course, in 11 days I'm having another big surgery. In 6 I'll have to start prepping with the special antibiotic showers. This is really coming up fast. One of the things I have to do while my friend is here is practice going up the stairs on my left leg. It's always been weaker. You know how you go 'up' on the stronger, 'down' on the weaker? Well, when I have my surgery, mine are going to flip, but the 'stronger' leg will have just had surgery, so in PT we're trying to strengthen both legs as quickly as possible, the left so it can carry the weight for the right, and the right to recover quicker. We'll see. And the resistance on the ROMTech is probably helping, too.

Okay, back to folding clothes. I want to finish this to-do list. I want to keep the house in shape up to the time of my surgery so I'm in good shape going into the time I can't do much.

It's happening all over again

From NBC News:

Japanese-American groups blast the use of former internment camp as ICE detention center

The Immigration and Customs Enforcement detention center at Fort Bliss in El Paso, which opened this past weekend, will be able to hold as many as 5,000 detainees upon its completion in the coming months, making it the largest federal detention center in U.S. history.

Japanese American advocates, however, say that the facility, which once imprisoned people considered “enemy aliens,” is a chilling reminder of a dark past.

“The use of national security rhetoric to justify mass incarceration today echoes the same logic that led to their forced removal and incarceration,” said Ann Burroughs, president and CEO of the Japanese American National Museum in Los Angeles.

What the actual....?

 Protests as newborn removed from Greenlandic mother after 'parenting competence' test

No, she hasn't failed some sort of test of how good a parent she'll be. It has to do with the fact that she herself was sexually abused by her adoptive father, and so had suffered trauma, and they didn't think she was 'Greenlandic enough', even though she is Inuit, born in Greenland, of Greenlandic parents, though living in Denmark, to qualify under a law that expressly forbids this standardised test from being used. She is being punished for being traumatised in the past, yet again, and they whisked her child away after an hour. She's allowed to see her baby once a fortnight.  This is incredulous. I don't want to hear anything at all about how the Danish system is so much better than ours again. That may be true in many ways, but at least in this case, this is out and out racist.

In case anyone's curious

my swelling's down and my dressing's off, and it looks really good for three weeks post-op. I basically have an exclamation point on my leg now. There is a tiny dot at the top that looks like a tiny blemish or bite, that's where the nerve block pump went in, then there's the incision, which is self-explanatory. I haven't taken the adhesive off yet. The tape stuff just peeled off, and the stitches were absorbable.  The calf was where the robot was inserted. It had a square bandage on with a big adhesive plastic cover, which frankly, I never saw or felt him take off because we were talking. He's good at distraction. I'll stick a picture of the leg with the bandages in for comparison. But it's so nice to have them off, and now I can take a shower without plastic wrap around my leg. I do not do well with cling wrap. I can't even put it on a bowl properly, much less wrap it around my leg. Remember when people used to try to do that to lose weight back in the 70s? Yes, really, they did. I think they thought they'd sweat it out. It was on an episode of the show 'Emergency!', once back when I was a kid, I remember.

Without bandages, and swelling is down

With bandages and swelling

I love this unique take on the pain scale

After my surgery, it's never been more than a Picasso, even on the bike. mostly hung around a Rembrandt-Dürer. That's not bad, considering that without the surgery, I was at a Courbet and feeling like I would pass out from the pain.

Awww...

 Got this off a post from Beautiful Disaster Animal Rescue on Facebook:

Jimmy Stewart loved dogs, and he and his wife Gloria had several throughout their long-time marriage. Stewart was especially fond of his golden retriever Beau, who would sleep in a corner of the bedroom at night, but would sometimes sneak onto the bed and lie between Stewart and Gloria. According to Stewart, "I know that I should have pushed him off the bed, but I didn't. He was up there because he wanted me to pat his head, so that's what I would do. Somehow, my touching his hair made him happier, and just the feeling of him laying against me helped me sleep better."

When Beau became terminally ill and had to be euthanized, Stewart sat in his car, following the procedure, for ten minutes to clear his eyes of tears. He later recalled, "After he died there were a lot of nights when I was certain that I could feel him get into bed beside me and I would reach out and pat his head. The feeling was so real that I wrote a poem about it and about how much it hurt to realize that he wasn't going to be there anymore."

The poem, titled Beau, was first recited on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in 1981. As you will hear in his poem, Beau (like all his dogs) was not good at things like 'sit', 'stay' and 'come'. Stewart said, "The difference between 'trained OK' and 'trained perfectly' doesn't really matter all that much to me.... I suppose the truth is that I'd rather have a happy dog than a trained one."

The poem starts out with humor and ends with sadness - with both Stewart and Carson trying their best to hold back tears.

===

He never came to me when I would call
Unless I had a tennis ball,
Or he felt like it,
But mostly he didn't come at all.

When he was young
He never learned to heel
Or sit or stay,
He did things his way.
Discipline was not his bag
But when you were with him things sure didn't drag.

He'd dig up a rosebush just to spite me,
And when I'd grab him, he'd turn and bite me.
He bit lots of folks from day to day,
The delivery boy was his favorite prey.
The gas man wouldn't read our meter,
He said we owned a real man-eater.

He set the house on fire
But the story's long to tell.
Suffice to say that he survived
And the house survived as well.

And on evening walks, and Gloria took him,
He was always first out the door.
The Old One and I brought up the rear
Because our bones were sore.

He'd charge up the street with Mom hanging on,
What a beautiful pair they were!
And if it was still light and the tourists were out,
They created a bit of a stir.

But every once in a while, he'd stop in his tracks
And with a frown on his face look around.
It was just to make sure that the Old One was there
To follow him where he was bound.

We're early-to-bedders in our house - I guess I'm the first to retire.
And as I'd leave the room he'd look at me
And get up from his place by the fire.
He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs,
And I'd give him one for a while.
And he'd push it under the bed with his nose
And I'd dig it out with a smile.
But before very long he'd tire of the ball
And he'd be asleep in his corner in no time at all.

And there were nights when I'd feel him climb up on our bed
And lie between us,
And I'd pat his head.
And there were nights when I'd feel his stare
And I'd wake up and he'd be sitting there
And I'd reach out to stroke his hair.
And sometimes I'd feel him sigh and I think I know the reason why.

He'd wake up at night
And he would have this fear
Of the dark, of life, of lots of things,
And he'd be glad to have me near.

And now he's dead.
And there are nights when I think I feel him
Climb up on our bed and lie between us,
And I'd pat his head.
And there are nights when I think I feel that stare
And I reach out my hand to stroke his hair,
And he's not there.

Oh, how I wish that wasn't so,
I'll always love a dog named Beau.

Oh, my heart. I already liked Jimmy Stewart. I like him even better now.

This is one of the most heartwarming stories I've heard coming out of libraries in awhile

You can scan the list right here (109 pages) at what-dan-read.com.

I love this

 

Oh

I'm officially away from having to use a cane (for now) inside. Still using one when out and about due to uneven ground [and definitely on the stairs].

Today I have

1. Made coffee for my roommate so he could get up early and walk me out to the car for my early appointment.  
2. Woken up said surly roommate right before my ride came.
3. Gone to my pre-admit appt and had labs drawn/gotten my chlorhexidine wipes, and information for surgery.
4. Gone through my actual physical therapist to get my post-op visit because UK was so tight on their schedule and out till October.
5. Moved two telehealths that were while I was going to be in the hospital and cancelled one that was redundant because one was with my weight loss MD, who is now going to be my new PCP, whom I see in person on Monday.
6. Paid a bill and checked to make sure it went through the bank, discovering a charge that shouldn't be on my account, leading to...
7. Called about a debit that was made both from my paycheque and my bank account, so there will be a refund.
8. Relaxed after all that by filling up my aromatherapy infuser with distilled water and lavender oil, running it for an hour, playing Loreena McKennitt's station on Pandora, and playing a jigsaw puzzle online.
9. Finally got around to taking my meds.

I still have to:

1. Get money out of the bank for the grocery fund.
2. Go with my roommate and a friend when they get groceries.
3. Go to PT.
4. Do the ROMTech bike at least twice today.
5. Call ROMTech and see how the new surgery will change the treatment plan/authorisation/return time, etc. 
6. At some point, I'm going to lie down and take a nap.
7. I've been up since 4:45 AM, and I hit the ground running and have been going ever since.

I didn't even make a to-do list, and I got all this done. Wow and oy vey.

Here we go...

Had my pre-op this morning, was on the phone multiple times, e-mailed with my PT, now have my post-op PT appointment scheduled, I think we're set. Oh, and something told me not to take my Mounjaro yesterday morning, so I'm set with that, too. Still doing the observation stay, the InfuBLOCK nerve catheter, everything's the same, so...also, apparently G2 was discontinued, which is why it was hard to find, so I'll just go with the Gatorade we have here, like I wound up doing before. At least I know what to expect this time and will hopefully be more relaxed and less anxious, and maybe even get some sleep in the days prior to the surgery, unlike before. The friends involved before were ready to give me the boot, almost, I think.

Anyway, I'm kind of looking forward to this. I'm hoping it goes as well, and soon I'll feel better than I have in years as far as my knees go. I saw my X-rays yesterday, and I have space between the ends of my long bones in my legs for the first time in years. It's amazing what a difference that makes. They had to put a button on the back of my patella where it was grooved from wear. I was in such bad shape. Hopefully, the right side won't be so bad, but it's pretty close,

Had a great post-op

with Dr Talwalkar today, got my dressing off, and then asked if we could schedule my next surgery, at which point we all realised we should have done that when we did the first (I thought we would, but then they didn't, so I assumed they're was done medical reason not to, and we would at the post-op). I was concerned about running out of FMLA. The next date was October 15th, the day before I was supposed to go back to work. Cheryl, the surgery scheduler, gave me that date to have it and said she's get with Dr. Talwalkar to see if he'd be willing to do a block on an administrative day or some other workaround. I got three calls on the way home as she did her magic, but in the end, the right knee surgery is September 3rd, which is his normal surgery day, so they worked me in somehow after she talked to him. Then she had to go get an appointment for my pre-op, which is... tomorrow morning! I managed to get a ride for that appointment, so all is good for now. It should just be the lab work and EKG and picking up my chlorhexidine wipes--UK is already sending me a new bottle of the cleanser; I have all the information packets, just the dates change. Thank you, Bobbie for taking me today and making sure that all bases were covered since I'm not particularly assertive and am better at advocating for others than myself. Thanks to Denise for taking me bright and early in the morning to my appointment on no notice, and my goodness Cheryl from Baptist is a miracle worker. And I think Venus from Baptist is already working on new PT appointments for me at UK. I am really impressed by everyone who has helped me both professionally and as friends. Thank you all so much.

Someone on a Facebook group

 asked about getting diagnosed with ADHD or autism in later life and how someone went about it. So I wrote this.  It seemed the best way to explain what's been going on here:

I had a friend we heavily suspected was autistic, and my roommate was reading an article to educate himself in interacting with him, when he realised it all applied to me, then had me read it without bias, and I realised it applied to me, right down to the clumsiness (lack of proprioception awareness). I was poleaxed. I'd already been diagnosed a decade before with ADHD at 48 and was on medication [both diagnosis and medicine had been covered by my work health plan]. I began to look at online resources and tried to find local places to seek a diagnosis. Someone online mentioned Embrace Autism, which was great--I highly recommend her site, and I took the validated tests and came out pretty much squarely autistic, which increased my drive to seek out an actual psychological diagnosis locally, but it was really hard. The only place I could initially find was a college in another town (I have driving anxiety), but they had a 5-year wait. I'm in central Kentucky in the US. Finally, I found a private psychologist who did assessments. Still, since my insurance does not cover autism assessments (she does not take insurance anyway), I socked more money into my flexible spending account at work this year. I used it for the assessment since it is a behavioural health expenditure that is covered by that; it's just out of pocket. After several sessions of interviews, observations, and a variety of testing (including a questionnaire for a friend who had known me for 40 years--my family had all pretty much passed away), I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 in March, right before my 58th birthday, with the full report received last month. All told, it was about $1300. People ask me why I did it. Partly, it makes everything make more sense. I wasn't just the ugly ducky-nay, ostrich trying to make it in a swan world. And it helps me try to figure out how to make the rest of my work years work. I've had some trouble with changes going on at work, with new responsibilities and changes in jobs over the last few years. I used to be a librarian; now I work in a busy clinic, and it's very different, and I'm struggling. I'm trying to find ways to navigate that. I'm trying to strengthen relationships and basically figure out how to act like my brain is more together than it has been without being inauthentic. I've masked so long I don't even know who I am anymore, or who I ever even was. This gives me a chance to figure out before it's too late. I couldn't figure out the masking thing at first and then it hit me that when you do it, you're not just say, modeling off of one person, you're modeling off of more than one, plus people you see on TV, plus anyone you meet, and you lose all sense of self, to the point where you bury the real you. Not only is that exhausting, but that person is so far down, there's almost no way to unpeel the layers to get to them. When I was young and depressed from my homelife, I'd surpressed emotions and personality to the point I'd had to find the real me and almost had to be dragged out of a whole fantasy world I'd been hiding in (hyperfixation to a high degree I guess), and I'd thought that was bad, and now I have to consider that even then with masking I wasn't completely finding the real me. Now I'm going to focus on getting to the person I would have been. Not the person who I would have been 'if only I'd been diagnosed earlier' or 'if only they'd seen the signs'. But the person I always was. Just me. But still able to function at work, still able to not freak people out by being too weird. I have friends who love me even though they know I'm weird, and I cherish them, even though I sometimes frustrate them to no end. I couldn't try to do that if I didn't know about my autism. It's the first step. One of the first recommendations of the psychologist was to find a therapist (who did take my insurance) who is versed in autism challenges, which I have done, and we're working on that. Another was to find a community, either online or locally in person, or both, and this group is part of that, where I can be myself. I hope that helps.

The psychologist I went to was very thorough, had a clear understanding of neurodivergence, and I would highly recommend her. Here is her contact information, if you are in the Lexington area:

Neurodiversity Consultants LLC

Dr. Jessica Newland, PsyD
713 Millpond Rd, Suite 12
Lexington, KY 40514-1570
859.780.3805
https://neurodiversityconsultantsllc.com/

All set

and waiting to go to PT. It's late today, 4:15 PM, and oddly on A Tuesday. Thankfully, one of my friends said she'd take me since the whole car thing didn't work out.

I am such a geek

I just changed my phone's text-to-speech settings to English (UK) because I use British English for writing anyway (I know, I'm weird, just prefer it--I do use American orthography at work because people just assume you can't spell otherwise), and now my briefs in the morning, midday, evening, etc. for weather and the news are a peppy British male voice rather than a hoarse, tired American one. I am so happy. What can I say, it's the small things.

On a side note, I have used British spellings for about 35 years of my 58 years of life. I read a lot of British books, watch a lot of British TV, it just seemed natural, and I'm very much an Anglophile, but one day recently, after being diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder level 1, it suddenly occurred to me that ultimately, that was the reason. It was a quirk of autism, not a pretentious thing (I never meant it that way, or to be different, and I had people ask that, which surprised me, because I hadn't even considered that). Yep. I't just that I'm a little weird and wired differently, what can I say.

It's just too big

My primary care provider is retiring after 51 years in practice. He has been my doctor for about 20 years of that. We had what we thought was our last appointment in May, complete with petties with his standard poodle Murphy, but then with all this and with the swelling in my legs before my surgery I was referred back to him the other day post-surgery, since I haven't met with my new doctor yet (that appointment is next week with the lady at UK whose is an internist who's been handling my weight loss journey, who has graciously agreed to take me on). I signed my paperwork while I was there to have my records transferred over. The other day. I received a message that they went to upload the records to UK's portal, but the file was too large, so they were providing them to me as a password-protected PDF so that I could take them to UK myself either before my first appointment or I could take them with me.

Folks, that PDF is 91 MB and 1,949 pages long.

I can't e-mail it (even if that were possible securely with their system, which it is not), and I can't print it. I can (after inquiring) burn it on a CD and they can read it [I wasn't sure, as a lot of places don't have computers with disk drives anymore]--if I provide the password. I did just check, and we do actually still have some blank CD-RW discs (and I have a portable drive that hooks up to my laptop for just such occasions, yay!) It's good to be a techie/gadget girl who hangs on to everything. And I didn't even have to go to my storage unit. :) So that is the way to go.

Whew!

How I spend my time these days

I really thought I'd be bored while I was off, but that hasn't been the case. Okay, all of this may seem boring. Each day I write out a to-do list of what I need to get done, need to remember to do, or actually do that day that I want 'credit' for. This is a look at my activities over the last few days, from Wednesday through Sunday. I had them on to-do lists on my Kindle Scribe. Each day, I write out the agenda to keep my day in some semblance of order and then tick off the tasks as I do them. Remarkably, Amazon's algorithm can (mostly) read my handwriting and transcribe it into text; I just had to clean it up a little. So I'm keeping busy with a lot of little stuff, plus some posting to Facebook and blogging here. That bike is taking a lot of it, and appointments, plus resting afterwards. I haven't spent all that much time doomscrolling. You'd be surprised at some of the things I'm doing at two weeks out from surgery, probably. I think I did dishes at week one. It is one of my main chores for ages (my roommate cooks, I clean up, for example) and my roommate was so overwhelmed by taking care of me, the animals, and everything else that once he and a friend got the dishwasher working again and he got the backlog taken care of, I was able to do the regular dishes again. If there are more than I can do in just a quick washup and I want to use the dishwasher, I just sit in a chair and do unload/load it. He'd be happy to do it, but it's taken a load off of him, as he's suddenly been having to do everything else of late. I cleaned the bathroom the other day and surprised him. As long as I don't have to stand too long (and I didn't scrub the tub or shower or anything, just hit the important things), I'm fine. Anyway, here we go, plus a page of my handwriting. I think Amazon did a pretty decent job of transcription. I'm mostly staying in my room in the air conditioning (I'm the only one in the house with it, and have been all summer--long story, although there are some pretty high-velocity fans).

Wednesday

• wake up at 7 am
• get dressed, get ready
• telehealth with Kelley
• water plants
• make bed
• update Google Calendar
• update wall calendar
• go to PT
• ROMTech #1
• ROMTech #2
• put on duvet cover
• pack return
• drop return @ post office
• text with K
• post PT update on Facebook
• puzzle |
• watch 'Desperate housewives'@ dinner
• take morning meds
• take eve meds
• take thyroid medicine
• rest as needed |||
• ice as needed |||
• take Tylenol as needed |||
• keep eye on blood sugar
• take insulin if needed
• do finances/balance ledger
• drink water |||| ||||
• wake D
• read email
• do PT exercises

Thursday

• wake up 7:30 am
• get water ||||/ ||||/ |
• take thyroid medicine
• take Tylenol |||
• email Dr Newland
• make bed
• clean bathroom
• wash dishes
• get dressed
• eat breakfast( banana)
• take morning meds
• keep eye on blood sugar
• take insulin if needed (not needed)
• take evening meds
• watch 'Desperate Housewives' @ dinner
• work on blog backlog
• ROMTech # 1
• ROMTech # 2
• ROMTech # 3
• rest as needed |
• ice as needed |
• update tomorrow PT time on calendars
• clean up 'landing area' in room
• take Maunjaro (ER had asked me to delay it till now)
• puzzle ||||
• turn on/off plant light
• listen to music (Shinedown, Ella Fitzgerald, Rag'n'Bone Man station)
• word game |||
• fix aromatherapy diffuser/run it
• do PT exercises
• read email

Friday

• wake up 7 am 
• get water ||||
• put up bags (plastic)
• put up salt + pepper
• put up cup
• put up bags (reusable)
• put up dish items
• put up toilet paper
• put up paper towels
• cut up damaged apples (bad cat!)
• make coffee
• wake roommate
• get dressed
• turn plant light on/off
• run aromatherapy diffuser
• make bed
• listen to music
• take thyroid medicine
• take Tylenol |||
• take morning meds
• keep an eye on blood glucose
• more items from walker to purse
• blog
• put Tylenol from store run away
• go to PT which = ROMTech #1
• turn off battery pack for white rose garland on bed
• read email
• ROMTech #2
• text with J
• care about driving YES!!!
• Call Br
• care Bo
• start car-oil light on
• order pizza
• can Br again
• call Bo again
• have Shabbos dinner
• unload dishwasher
• put away dishes
• load dishwasher
• run dishwasher
• do other dishes (very few)
• take evening meds
• put on new phone case
• put new charger together/try out

Saturday

• wake up 7 am
• take thyroid med
• take Tylenol |||
• put trash bag in container
• launder clothes
• make coffee
• wake roommate
• get dressed
• caffeinate
• listen to Shinedown
• ROMTech# 1
• check email
• check Facebook
• breakfast (apple slices)
• keep an eye on blood sugar
• take morning insulin (both types 20 units)
• turn plant light on/off
• let dogs out/in (carefully)
• rest/elevate leg after exercise
• clean houseeshoes
• run aromatherapy infuser
• take morning meds
• have lunch (baked potato)
• take nap
• read 'Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes'
• ROMTech# 2
• clean out left bedside table drawers
• check Havdalah time.
• ROMTech# 3
• blog Rabbi Kleinbaum's drash
• puzzle
• fold laundry
• put laundry way
• call Chandler pharmacy and cancel insulin autofill
• switch over to Ella Fitzgerald for music
• elevate leg ||
• put on cover screen protector
• do PT exercises
• watch 'Desperate Housewives' @ dinner (sandwich)

Sunday

• wake up 630 am
• take thyroid medicine
• scan news/email/Facebook
• caffeinate
• make coffee
• wake roommate
• listen to Shinedown
• finances
• rest 930-10 an
• turn on/off plant light
• ROMTech #1
• rest/stretch 1030-1230
• take Tylenol
• clean air conditioner filters
• keep an eye on blood sugar
• eat breakfast (banana)
• make bed
• get dressed
• do PT exercises
• ROMTech #2
• take morning meds
• puzzle ||
• ROMtech #3
• listen to audiobook ('Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?')
• ROMTech #4
• eat lunch (sandwich/apple)
• dinner (fish, rice, salad, watermelon)
• watch 'Desperate Housewives' @ dinner
• ROMTech #5
• unload dishwasher
• load dishwasher
• run dishwasher
• wash dishes in sink
• leave pot to soak
• clean stove
• listen to Ella Fitzgerald on speaker via computer
• charge phone, watch, earbuds, speaker
• take eve meds
• take pain med 'cause pain = couldn't sleep

There you go. That's my life in minutiae right now. Is it boring? Oddly, no. Should it be? I'm not sure. I'm starting to have blocks of time I can fill with other things. Audiobooks are looking like a plan. I'm open to other suggestions, as well. :) Today, for example, I have no appointments, and I am only going to do the bike three times, and wait to start until a little later in the day, maybe noon.

Argggh!!!! Oww!

I may have overdone it. I went from a pain of 1 or 2 directly after doing the bike to about a 6 or 7 about an hour or so later. After three and a half hours of lying in bed in pain, unable to sleep, debating, given that I can drive but do not have a working car and do not have prospects for fixing it soon, I finally took something stronger than Tylenol and fell asleep. Now, six hours later, I'm still a little sore, especially in my knees, hips, legs, and buttocks. Five sessions are just too much for me, although I know my roommate was very proud of me for hitting the magic number. I'll stick with my normal three; it seems to work well, four if I'm really feeling it. Peter, my physical therapist, said to count PT as a session, so definitely no more than three those days.

PS, I have also made peace with the fact that I cannot adjust the pedals all the way. There are six settings outward. I can do four and still pedal. I have made it to five briefly on passive, but cannot pedal actively and certainly not on resistance with it. I have not even tried six. I am 5'3". My knees only go so far. It occurred to me that this machine is built for people of all sizes, and I am on the lower end. I must make peace with that.

Yipee!!!!!

I finished right before midnight but I got all five, count them, five sessions of the ROMTech bike in today! Finally! Go me!

Two more books

I finished book #6 for the year the other day, which I re-read in honour of the 80th anniversary of the dropping of the atomic bombs, Sadako and the Thousand Cranes by Eleanor Coerr, in one session, Today I decided to look through my Audible collection (I am not currently a member, having disentangled myself from Amazon for the most part for now at least, but I have 80 titles in my library, most of which haven't been listened to yet, so I decided that might be a good use of downtime, and today is the first day I actually had a couple of hours where I wasn't otherwise occupied.

I finished one I'd started called Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?: Big Questions From Tiny Mortals About Death, where mortician Caitlin Doughty answers questions submitted to her by children about death and what happens afterwards. She has a popular YouTube channel, which is very entertaining and informative. I'm happy she has narrated her own book. It's quite delightful, and I learned a lot. So it's #7 for the year. I did revise my goal from 36 to 15. I just don't think I have 36 in me. We'll see. Maybe I'll exceed 15, though, especially since I'll be counting audiobooks. Despite having trouble with audio processing, I sometimes have an easier time getting into an audiobook than a written book these days. I'm sorry to say, it's sad for a librarian to be challenged in reading books. I don't know why. I blame my ADHD.

I saw this the other day and it was just excellent

Two-and-a-half weeks

So if you don't have a weak stomach....

Here is my incision right after surgery, as well as some bruising:

Here it is now, after 2 1/2 weeks:

Which isn't bad. The bruising's healed. The incision looks good. It's itching a bit, which means it's healing. Yes, I'm being good and not scratching. There's still swelling compared to the other leg around the ankle (you can't really see from this angle) but it's much better than it was. All around, I'm doing pretty well.  Which makes me pretty grateful.

Feeling a little down

about the car. I got the okay to drive, and now I can't go anywhere because my car's oil pressure light is on. I'm heading quickly into the 60% of income time when I go onto short-term disability (I'm on extended illness right now). I have a little windfall coming that the car obviously sensed [isn't that always the case?], but it's already spoken for. But I need the car fixed before I go back to work if at all possible, although if I did have to take the bus to work after my leave is over, at least PT is right down the street and that's a shuttle ride (I specifically asked for PT to be at UK Kentucky Clinic to help with that). It could be something minor, say, a clogged oil filter, or it could be something much worse. The last time my oil light even flickered (in another car, and it didn't come on steady at all), my engine blew. I'm certainly not driving it anywhere, since that could happen. I may see about having it towed to my mechanic and having him look it over to see what's wrong and see if it's a simple fix, at least, and then go from there. If it's big, we can just have it towed back. I think that's doable.

I had let my AAA lapse because I wouldn't be driving and because their recovery unit pissed me off so royally (at one point calling me three times within the space of five minutes while I was at work after I told them I planned to renew in the autumn) to the point where I don't plan on renewing now, but I have roadside assistance through my insurance that has actually been more useful this year. At one point, I got stuck on the ice and got an occurrence at work when AAA abandoned me and wouldn't come down my street. I finally got out on my own, but it was after the four-hour mark, so I'd missed too much, and it was an occurrence. I told the guy from my insurance who came out to jump my car that, and he said a lot of the big trucks don't actually have 4-wheel drive, and he'd never actually had trouble with the ice this year or gotten stuck because his was a smaller truck with it. I pay $12 a year for my insurance assistance vs. $185 or so for AAA. I need to see what the limits are for it. AAA is 4 or 5 calls a year, I know.

I know it's a short-lived window because the next surgery would be four weeks away anyway. Still, I'd hoped to have some time to drive where we'd get groceries and food, and I'd be able to go to appointments without having to rely on others. To those who have been helping, thank you so much. I'd already called and let those who had appointments lined up know I could drive yesterday, and then I'd had to call them back and ask them to take me to them again, and even had to add one for Tuesday, where I didn't have one lined up yet.

It'll all work out, I know. But it's still a bummer. Still, I'm going to focus on what I can do, which is call Kenny at Mitch's Auto on Monday and see what my options might be and go from there. I trust him. He's got a guy who'll tow for a lot lower than most, too, if it's going there.  And in the meantime, I'll just do the bike, keep working on my recovery, go to my appointments, and rely on my wonderful friends. Thank you all. I'll figure out everything else as it comes.

Dang it

...and my low oil pressure light is on in my car, so I am not driving after all. Harumpf. Also, randomly, my gas cap light is on, even though it is screwed in. The car is not idling correctly and smells like it is burning oil. There is oil in the car. It does need an oil change, but it's not over by much. This is a job for Kenny at Mitch's Auto Repair, but I can't send it over just yet, till I get paid.

I am not sure what the universe is trying to say here.

Today's update:

Flexion at PT is 100°, I haven't taken pain pills in 5 days and so Dr Talwalkar's office says I can drive!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROMTech is my master...

Doing my bike. I'm supposed to do five sessions a day. I haven't managed to do more than four and average three, but the therapist with ROMTech said that was okay. The only thing required by insurance is to start within 48 hours of being released from the hospital, so that happened. The computer is basically a Samsung Galaxy tablet. It is programmed to take you through about five different types of scenery, alpine village, country woods, primitive woods, desert and paddleboat on the sea. The one below is the country lane through the woods. This is my view while I'm doing my therapy. If you look carefully, you can see there is a paper wasp nest in the window I've been watching. It's small and in between the window and the screen, which was broken years ago by a cat, so we don't open it. I'll include a larger picture of the nest, and also what Google has to say about them. I put it on a group on Facebook and got over 1,4000 reactions and 600 comments, which is the most I've ever gotten for anything. I think you can imagine most of them had to do with getting rid of the wasps. We're going to wait and see. It won't be that long till autumn, and it's pretty small. In the meantime, I'm enjoying watching them. I've had a thing for insects ever since I was a kid. Yes, even the more annoying ones. But they don't get aggressive unless you come after their nest.

Inquiring minds

I had to ask what this was. It's not a bandage on my knee after all. It's where the robot latches on to your leg. I had visions of drones in Sci-Fi movies that attach to the hulls of ships in space. Anyway, the dressing comes off at the Post-op. 😊

Back to normal

Okay, from now on all posts are live and real-time.

Ugh!

Folks, I just spent an hour and twenty minutes making part of my bed, and I will not lie. Just the flat sheet, duvet cover, duvet, Euro pillows (which already had their cases on), and one set of pillows that had to have cases put on. It was the duvet. I swear if there is a hell, it'll be duvet covers and cantilever doors that'll be my punishments. I thought I'd gotten pretty good at it, especially as mine have pockets with ties. Not this time. Plus, my cover and cases have shrunk slightly.

I am now winded. I am now going to mess up said made bed and rest. And maybe some ice. PT and the bike aren't as hard as a duvet. And yes, I could have asked for help, but 1) I really thought I was up to it, 2) it hasn't been this hard of late, and 3) he is absolutely hopeless in this department. He has better spatial relations than I, but not when it comes to fabric in three dimensions. His is worse--no ties, no pockets to tie to, and it buttons, plus it's king-sized as opposed to my little full-sized one. Fortunately, since it's so heavy, it is put away for the season.

Today's PT Report

My flexion (angle you can bend your knee), which was hoped to be 90°at 3 weeks, was 91° today at two. Go me!!!! Also, I can dispense with the walker, even outside, and switch back to my normal collapsible aluminium cane for general use, and then I can use the steel quad cane only for stairs, where I need to put a little weight on it. Yay!!!— feeling happy.

I sat in a regular chair last night

There was a time that I would come over to play the weekly Call of Cthulhu tabletop tabletop role-playing game (you know, like Dungeons & Dragons, but this is Lovecraft, so with tentacles and sanity loss) that we've been playing almost weekly since 1991, and I'd get out my 'special chair', a gold-coloured metal folding one. The reason is the gamemaster had this table that folded up and it has some chairs that folded up and were stored inside - but they were pretty flimsy, so much so that another player who was smaller than I in a fit of pique plopped down on one and busted it, and so he was pretty concerned with my weight (about 250 at the time) I would break them. Then he got a table with some sturdy farm chairs and I moved to those and have ever since, the special chair being retired. At some point he got a table and six chairs from his mother-in-law (while they were married) and they are normal but not particularly sturdy. I have never been in one, as I had been, at over 300 lbs. in danger of breaking one of them, and I would be embarrassed and it's not like you can replace something like that, something that's a set. So it was an unwritten agreement between us that I not sit in those.

Last night I was helping him with something but of course with my leg it was best if I did it sitting down. I thought he'd pull over the farmhouse chair I was currently sitting in at the kitchen table, but no, he got one of the kitchen chairs and motioned me to it. I asked him if he was sure and he said that there was no reason I couldn't. I set gingerly in the chair and finally eventually got comfortable.

I actually weigh less than he does at the moment and I know he's very proud of what I've done with the weight loss. But that moment really brought that home. You have to understand that he is never cruel about these things, just merely practical. He never meant to hurt my feelings by not letting me sit on certain chairs... He just didn't want anything broken or for me to be hurt. But he did mean to make me feel better this time. And I really appreciate it.

People who are normal really don't understand how much fat people walk on eggshells when it comes to chairs. You go out to a restaurant with friend and you're on the rickety chair, and you sit there balancing and wondering if it's just going to go out from under you. Or you sit there going oh please please please don't give me the booth because I won't be able to to enjoy my meal because I'm going to sit here squeezed in unable to even breathe. It's a real problem and don't even get me started on planes am I going to be able to fit even with the extended seat belt are they going to make me pay for another seat? I agonized on that when I went to Chicago those 5 years (well 4 years; when I got hit by the car I had to cancel one). It just is maddening and all because you're fat.

Of course 'fat' is a very subjective term. I thought I was terribly fat when was 12, and looking back, I wasn't. People 140 lbs. who were 120 lbs. in high school think they're fat. Certainly the weight tables and diet industry don't help. I'm supposed to weigh 145 tops for my height. The last time I weighed that I was 4'11" and in junior high. I would be fine at maybe 160-180 at smallest. I always said I'd be happy with the 180-200 range. This morning, even with the swelling, I'm at 217, which 1) is 5 lbs. less than Friday morning, so hopefully the swelling is going down and 2) means that overall I've lost more weight because the last non-swelling number was also 217, so if it weren't for the fact my left leg looks like an elephant's, particularly in the evening, it would be less. So I probably weigh something like 212 within the inflammation. That amazes me. And since I'll be away from the vending machines, junk food in general, and I don't have much appetite anyway, I may lose more. We'll see.

Yay!

I am pleased to report that I just got a call from the radiologist and I do not have a blood clot in my leg.

Back Home

I won't know the result for a little while. Because it was a stat add on it could be in MyChart in a couple of hours, or it could take up to the standard 24. I think they found something, as she took a comparison shot on the right of the area near the groin where I have been in so much pain. We'll see. If that is the case I have a prescription for Apixiban at Chandler pharmacy to pick up, so mischief managed. And they did give me the Lovenox last night. So hopefully that'll help, if there is a clot, which we don't know yet, so I'm going to act as if they're isn't. Except I'm not getting in that bike until I get the okay from Talwalkar's office.

UPDATE

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: I have a driver! Yay!!! 👏👏👏👏👏
UPDATE: They just called and I took a 2 PM appointment to give me some time to get a driver. Don't know if that could have made it worse since it's in the middle of the afternoon. But if you aren't particularly busy and you can help, please let me know!!! Thank you!!!

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Okay, early bird Saturday friends, a general plea. Most of you know I am the only driver in our household, but I am currently unable to drive due to the total knee replacement surgery being just a little over a week ago. Yesterday I had a PT session scheduled. I had my main driver come in from a neighbouring county for a grocery and bank run, as well as the PT session, and when the PT agreed with me that I should call my orthopaedist about the swelling in my leg, she went to the ER with me, essentially spending 10 or more hours away from home, most of which were unplanned. She had plans with her sons this morning that she was willing to change, but.... The main thing I needed yesterday, the duplex venous ultrasound study, closed right after I got to the ER but before I was seen. The ER doctor, Dr. Creech (very nice, treated me very well, despite the shell game that was last night) tried to get a study ordered stat and get someone to stay to no avail, then ran bloodwork to at least rule out other causes of swelling and something that would still remain high in the case of post-op but might point to a blood clot. The labs did indicate that I should have the study, so I should receive a call first thing this morning from their imaging center there (it's right next to the ER, I believe, in a trailer). If I don't receive a call by 10 AM I'm to call them. So that I don't have to drag my friend back to Lexington again after so many unexpected hours, would anyone be able to take me to the ultrasound? Most ultrasounds don't take more than an hour. The plan should they find it is not to repeat the ER visit (protocol is usually to refer to the ER, but he said there was no need since I'd already been through. He already has a script waiting for me at Chandler Pharmacy of oral blood thinners to pick up if there is a clot; if the test is negative I just come back home and cancel the prescription. So it's really either a there-and-pharmacy or there-and-home. If you can do it, please let me know and I will message you my phone # and address if you don't already know it. It does mean being on standby until shortly after 10 AM possibly until I know more, unfortunately, as I have to wait till they call. PS I am still on a walker but ambulating pretty well. A very high vehicle might be too hard for me to manage, as I often have trouble with them anyway, although with enough leg room it may not matter; I'm not sure--in some ways this knee bends better than my other, I'm just not used to it yet. On the good news front, my flexion was 84° yesterday. Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Up

at 5:30 am just as my roommate went to bed. Neither of us has the best sleeping ability on a good day, both of us deal with insomnia. My problem, I think, is while I went to bed fairly early, i had quite a bit of pain and had trouble sleeping, so I finally broke down and took some medicine, which messes with my sleep cycle, melatonin or not. Besides, I'm used to getting up between 5:30-6:30 for work still.

So here I am, my light alarm clock just coming on. I should probably get on the bike. But no, that is not happening this early.

Before I went to bed, I made my first actual to-do list since my surgery. It goes something like this:

• do morning PT exercises
• brush teeth/clean up
• get dressed
• take morning meds
• do internet jigsaw puzzle #1 in morning [https://www.jigsawexplorer.com/]
• listen to music
• return a text from a friend in Cicero, Illinois
• ride ROMTech bike #1 (8:00 am)
• read from book about public libraries
• get my friend to take my hamper of dirty clothes out to the washer
• do my laundry
• blog, including back entries where I never mentioned doing this surgery [I am so behind; I haven''t posted since June. I have kept this blog since October of 2001.]
• ice!
• stay ahead of the pain
• remember to use the knee brace on the non-operant (right) knee since I keep forgetting
• ride ROMTech bike #2 (10:30 am)
• set up bill pay to pay rent/grocery fund
• ride ROMTech #3 (1:00 pm)
• do puzzle #2 for the afternoon
• eat lunch
• do midday PT exercises
• return a missed phone call from yesterday
• have friend bring me the clean clothes in a hamper
• fold the clean clothes [these include the linens for Sabbath dinner tomorrow]
• ride ROMTech # 4 (3:30pm)
• do puzzle #3 for the evening
• ride ROMTech # 5 (6:00 pm)
• eat dinner
• watch episodes 1 and 2 of season 2 of 'Desperate Housewives'
• take evening meds
• do nightly PT exercises

It's not what I would call thrilling, but it'll keep me occupied. 🙂 I'm going to try something new tomorrow and cut the time in between the ROMTech sessions from three hours to 1.5 in an effort to get them knocked out in a reasonable time. We'll see. That may be too much at once. But I don't have any appointments tomorrow. If you're wondering why I am doing laundry rather than my roommate, there is a perfectly non-logical story involving oaths to long-dead relatives about that going back over two decades that I won't get into but suffice to say that I am perfectly capable of putting clothes in and out of a washer and dryer, especially if I open the other utility room door (I don't normally bother, I just open the dryer and pull things out by kind of leaning over, but there is a bolt that goes into the floor where the door in front does actually swing fully open so you have full access). I just can't carry at the moment. Actually, my clothes are in a rolling cart, but still....I'll ask him to do it, just to be safe.

Okay, it's 6:30 am. I'm not sure if I'm sleepy or no.t. Maybe I should start my day with a little music. Have a lovely morning.

Finally

Got the first session of the day down. Called the ROMTech rep. Apparently they are open from 8 AM-9 PM. Making a mental note about that. 🙂 They don't do the straps anymore because people were stepping out of the pedals without getting out of them and getting hurt. I can't say anything--it's something I might do. He suggested wearing something with a heavier tread, so I did and it was better. Not perfect, I had to stop a couple of times, but much better. The main thing is I finished, and I increased twice. I did have to resist the urge to pedal with my knees out rather than up. I've done that for years. It hurts and it's bad for them, and the whole point is to get height in angle anyway. So I'm trying to watch my form while making sure the machine doesn't slide forward. I need to brace it with something about a foot long.

Also, I am itching where my nerve catheter was and trying so hard to resist scratching. I'm hoping it'll settle down once I get a shower. Roommate's not up yet so that's for later. One productive thing I did manage to do earlier today was water all the plants. IT was going on three weeks and they hadn't been watered by surgery day, and I was worried some might die. One was very peaked--it's a peperomia that acts a canary in a coal mine. Anyway, I got everyone taken care of.

I think I will rest a little now and listen to some music, maybe make a list for the day. I do better with lists, but I'm a bit tired. That machine takes '12' minutes' but it's really something like 45, and then about another half-hour or 45 minutes of plotzing. Then it's time for the next one, it seems.

A-hah!

Well, that took care of part of the problem...since there are the two stop signs, I suspect she pointed to the other one and I thought she meant the physical one for both. Also, mine did not come with straps. Maybe I could get them sent to me? Thank you, VALOR Medical Solutions. 🙂

Frustration

It's been really dreary outside, and I've been listening to Ella Fitzgerald on Pandora, so I haven't done much more than my regular PT exercises, taken my meds (well, I'm working on that right now), dealt with the pump (only because it was necessary) and ate a banana. I'm ready to crawl back into bed. I have not done the ROMTech after the frustration of last night. I did not finish my fourth session or attempt my fifth one...instead I need to see if they're open on Sundays and they can help as my feet keep falling out of the pedals whenever we increase the pedal radius. I kept hitting the stop button but it would reset the session and I would lose my progress instead of starting back up so I know I'm doing something wrong. Unfortunately there is nothing on the machine or the website that is the same as the setup instructions given by the rep, just a specifications document on the machine and a brochure for why you have your doctor prescribe it. I may just Google it for YouTube or such rather than rely on the company, but really, not all of us process auditorily well. Why not just give a stupid information sheet, either on paper or online? Have they never heard of a FAQ? But I do want the acetaminophen to kick in before I start that, so maybe 10?

I am competent!

Celebrating the fact that my nerve block pump went off today and the last dribble of medicine meant I was able to take out the catheter, and even I, the weenie non-medical person with an issue for such things managed to do so (I was going to have Mr. CNA do it, but he's exhausted and asleep from a combination of taking care of me, doing chores he's not used to, cooking Sabbath dinner, and doing services for a holiday that is currently going on which commemorates a 25-hour period of mourning in the Jewish calendar, and involves fasting, so he wasn't going to get up to study over Zoom with a friend, so I'm leaving him alone and letting him sleep, and I handled it all on my own.) I boxed everything to send the pump back This means, of course, that I can take a shower, as long as I put a little cling wrap or a bag around the incision bandage (it's actually waterproof, but still). I will not do that until he's up because I'd rather he put the shower chair in and be up in case I have trouble getting in and out of the shower. I'm bending pretty well, though, which is good, because we have a glass-enclosed tub/shower.

I'm actually able to walk around the house without a cane for the most part, although I'm taking it around mostly for safety. I can kind a 'cruise' like a one-year old as needed and use walls. I've been off the walker inside since the second night here. But I'd probably still use the walker out in the world because there's just too much going on and especially the cane with the stairs. If I feel the walker gets in the way, I'll switch to the cane. Actually, I have my friend Glen to thank for the fact I have a cane--I left mine behind at PT because I walked with the walker straight over to checkout and went right out; he went back and got it, remembering after getting me into the car. At least we hadn't left. The one thing I seem to be missing from being at the hospital is a pair of sleep/headband earphones. I called Baptist's lost and found (security) and they didn't see them. So I may just have misplaced them. And I thought I had them here the first day here. Go figure. They're replaceable. It's all worth it. In the exercise programme, it's not the left I'm having trouble with, it's the untreated right. Ouch. 🙂

Anywhere, here's a before and after. Avert your eyes if necessary. Should have probably said that up front...sorry.

Oy vey

3rd session - forest. Last time I stayed awake afterwards but supine. This time I'm going to try to sit up. Next time is 8 PM.

Desert!

Just did my second session on the the range of motion machine this time the background was a desert scene rather than the Alpine village from this morning. I used to really bike through the desert when I lived in the Mojave. So it was nice. It's a 12-minute workout, 10 passive, 2 active. The first one put me out for most of the next three hours with some ice and a little pain increase. But I'm hoping to do better the second time. But I do have to lie down and elevate and ice my leg. I plan to hey back up and do things. Really. I did eat some cottage cheese and challah afterwards. That's in top of my banana breakfast. I don't reach much when I'm at home, don't get very hungry,

Also, Itook my next dose of Mounjaro to get back on track after surgery. I had to stop mine a week ahead. I stopped it 2 weeks out. IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP FOR USERS OF GLP-1 DRUGS such as Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro, and Zepbound, please realise that these medications work by slowing the emptying of the stomach, and therefore if your are sedated for any reason, you can aspirate and choke to death or get a form of pneumonia, either of which can kill you. As a result hospitals and other centres that sedate will not do so if you've taken one within one week. I knew this, but forgot before my colonoscopy and was given the option to reschedule and redo the prep or do it unsedated. I chose the latter. A surgery would have had to be rescheduled completely, though, so yes, I went two weeks out.😊

Update

Hey, guys, I just wanted to provide an update since I've managed to give almost no one any information about my surgery or its outcome, and I'm very sorry about that. First of all let me explain why you haven't heard anything.

Back in May, I had an event at work where I had sudden myoclonic tics/spasms come up that caused involuntary movement in my arms and legs. They are always there a bit, just like my familial essential tremor (I think I get that from my grandfather; his hands shook, too, so much later in life he couldn't hold a coffee cup without spilling it). Anyway, it was a little alarming at this went far more than a bit of a shaky thumb. My neurologist put me through a series of tests, including an EEG and a brain MRI to rule out things like epilepsy, multiple sclerosis, brain tumour, etc., and those all came out fine, so it went down as a myoclonus brought on by lack of sleep and stress. He upped my essential tremor medicine (a seizure med called topiramate) yet again, and it went to its current norm. But in the days of preparing for the surgery I got about 3-4 hours at the most sleep (not much than my norm, but still worse). On the night before, I got maybe one hour. So from the time I woke up to about noon yesterday, I had this thing I get where if I try to text or use a phone I 'double-tap' everything. Even after that, texting is hard and frustrating. And I tried the microphone. It was frustrating, because I'd still have to go back and correct on the phone. I meant to get on the computer once I got home, but it's taken a bit to get settled...so. I had a person to call a couple of friends, and he did, but didn't get through, so that didn't work, either. 🙁

Surgery went fine. There was no lengthy pre-op, even like you have with a colonoscopy or so. I just got dressed and had a quick word with providers, my friend, and then went on to the OR for my spinal. That's the last thing I remember before being in my room. I really must praise the staff at Baptist...not only were they very nice and professional, they apparently dealt with a difficult patient. I have been told that from the time I came to-I don't remember most of this, I wasn't really completely with it- I expressed my anxiety by trying to control the situation by ordering everyone including the staff and my friends (one of which is a trained CNA who worked Ortho/Neuro albeit 40 years ago, but knows a lot about patient care). I do not remember this, but I can certainly believe it. Whenever we feel anxiety, there is a need to control our environment. I am so going to have to answer this Press Ganey survey. I will say I sleep so much and better than I have in two years while I was there.

I walked all around the nurse's station with the walker the first day, and halfway to the PT gym the first day, did the same stair practice I'd done at the prehab, and felt fairly confident.

We got in the house with a few bumps, It was so good to be home!!!! Thank you Brenda Evans for all the shifting of schedules back and forth since the times were so uncertain. I really appreciate your help.

Yesterday I went to my first outside PT. I did make a mistake going down the stairs and jarred things a bit but didn't fall, it just hurt a bit. I had a great PT session and was able to reach 2% (they want 0% extension) and 73° angle bent knee heading toward a goal of 90°, which he said was really good for 2 days post op. Dr. Talwalkar also called me last night and he was very pleased. He's got an excellent manner about him, like you're talking with an old friend. He was also happy with those progress numbers.

Which reminds me, I'm go to go work on the new-fangled range-of-motion machine they have for me to do five times a day to help with that.