It's 4:54 am

and I just woke up in pain, partly from my arm, but mainly from apparently starting my period five days early. Ever since I got the phone, I've been tracking them, and they're generally 25 days apart for five days. I thought I was going to start yesterday (hey, I've been doing this 32 years now, so I recognise the signs), but checked the calendar and said, no, surely not. Yet here I am, cramping and uncomfortable and bleeding. I have eaten a couple of string cheese servings to settle my stomach and taken some ibuprofen for the pain. I think it will kick in soon.

I'm wondering if maybe I am entering perimenopause, because your periods can become irregular. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome as well, which can also do that, but I've never missed a period and for the most part they've always been pretty reliable, with the few surprises coming from me not watching the calendar.

As PubMed Health says:

In some women, menstrual flow comes to a sudden halt. More commonly, it slowly stops over time. During this time, the menstrual periods generally become either more closely or more widely spaced. This irregularity may last for 1 - 3 years before menstruation finally ends completely. Before this the cycle length may shorten to as little as every 3 weeks.

I am 44, so it would make sense that I would start becoming irregular about now. That would put me at 46-48 or so for cessation of menses. I think my mother was 49 when she hit menopause itself, and that can be an indicator as to when a woman will actually stop.

That means I have to start thinking about things like hot flashes, osteoporosis, mood changes, etc. I've recently been given a bone density scan due to the stress fractures in my foot and it was normal, so I have a baseline as far as osteoporosis goes. Mood changes are an issue since I'm already bipolar II with more of a tendency for depression, but that is being treated. Hot flashes are supposedly awful, and I'm hot-natured anyway, but I can hopefully deal with them, because I still have doubts about some hormone replacement therapy, namely conjugated equine oestrogens (such as Premarin or Prempro), and its effects on the well-being of mares and foals used in the industry.

In general I welcome menopause, as I have no plans to procreate and I frankly would feel better in a relationship if there was no chance of conceiving. I certainly don't want to be one of those people who suddenly finds themselves raising a child in their mid-to-late 40s. I don't have enough energy for myself, let alone a child, plus I don't have the financial stability and frankly don't have the temperament for it, and recognise that fact. I wish more women who were bad mothers did.

One important thing that would change would be the timing of my monthly libations to Hekate. During the years of menstruation, the wine is given to coincide with the period. Once I go through menopause, that will move to the dark of the moon. Fortunately I'm very good at keeping an eye on moon phases (it being full as of tomorrow afternoon, for example). It's a fairly minor change in timing, but different all the same, so it has an impact on my religious practice.

Thank you for putting up with a post on a subject that many people, especially men, shy away from. I'm going to go back to bed now that the pain is gone. Have a good rest of the night and a great tomorrow as well.