Ah, the dreaded 'worm in the brain'

I'm not particularly a Dave Barry fan, but another librarian indicated he'd mentioned MedlinePlus in his column, and it was hilarious. As to the pickle jar, let a nice single girl give you a hint: rather than wait for a he-man to arrive, take a case knife, knock it lightly around the lid to break the seal, then twist. Even I, with my puny wrists, can open a pickle jar that way. :)