Unshelved	by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum

'One more day, one day more'

until October and all that entails, for good or bad. (Excuse the Les Mis moment, I know it's early).

I had insomnia last night, probably from a combination of sleeping on the first cold autumn night of the season with the window open, and Cerys waking me up at three in the morning to go out, which isn't usual for her (although, bless her heart, she's fourteen, so she can be forgiven for a weak bladder, and at least she did wake me up). Anyway, I kept having trouble going back to sleep, so after lying in bed at midnight, 3 am, 5am, and 7am, I finally just gave up, got up, did yoga (I've been doing it regularly this month), took my medicine, had a cereal bar, and took a nice long bath, then came into work an hour and a half early (not on the clock, though) and returned the borrowed scrub pants, had some eggs, potatoes, and milk, and well, now I'm just waiting to clock in around 10. Oh, and I sent a thank you card to the people who interviewed me at the historical society. I found an elegant card with a black bow, an engraved magnolia that was taken from a library in Virginia, with velvet flocking. A little dark, yes, but it simply said thank you and seemed good to send to a pair of archivists. Normally I would have just written a note but that seemed better somehow. (And yes, I want the job!)

Let's see, this is rambling, I know, but I haven't had time to really write much lately. What else? I started the ADDerall today. So far it's not making me jittery or anything; actually I'm a little dopey, like everything's slowed down a bit. That may just be my expectation, but it is supposed to make me focus, although it's such a low dose at this point it may not have an immediate effect. I can't blame the insomnia on it, either, since I didn't take it until after I got up this morning. I don't really feel sleepy...just...well, calm. My thoughts aren't racing like they often do in the morning. That may be a combination of factors. I also take BuSpar in the morning, and that's a sedative. So who knows what they'll do together. I know it may seem like I'm jumping around in this post but it's more like thoughts are coming, I'm writing, and then new ones come, rather than going back and forth, if that makes any sense.

One thing I neglected to mention about the trip to Frankfort the other day were the butterflies. Every few feet there would be one flying across the road, usually avoiding traffic. That, along with the goldenrod (our state flower and allergen) and ironweed along the road, made for a very pleasant drive. I really prefer the smaller roads like Leestown to the Interstate, for the most part, although I got stuck behind a couple of slow vehicles along the way, but it was never for long. Versailles Road is probably the nicest way to get to Frankfort, because of all the horse farms...but I'd have to go around town to get to it, whereas I was already on Main Street (Leestown-Richmond roads--Lexington roads change name with every major intersection for the most part, so Leestown, Richmond, and Main are all the same), so that's why I went that way. Plus, you always know when you're halfway there because of the town of Midway, named for that very reason.

Because I got paid yesterday, I have a full tank of gas ($36 worth!), medicine for the month, groceries in the house, a big bag of dog AND cat food, fish food, minutes on my phone, etc. I did forget cat litter so I'll have to go back for that. I get paid today at my other job, too. That leaves me with enough for a couple of bills and money towards my rent. I'm going to try to make sure I'm not left without anything at the middle of the month. Now that I'm working a second job again, that'll help keep me from total destitution. I don't have any left for much in the way of luxuries, although I may see about going to see a discount movie this weekend. I'm thinking of seeing Skeleton Key, which like most horror/thrillers seems to have gotten bad reviews, but I know the shop where they got a lot of their props, and apparently they tried to be very authentic about Hoodoo, something I know a little about but would like to learn more.

Well, it's almost time for me to clock in, so I'll sign off for now. Take care.

Eilir raved on 09:21 Links to this post

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I feel hyper

I got paid. I have a full tank of gas. I had nummy breakfast food for lunch, including cinnamon French toast. I'm happy. Life is good. And...two more days. ;)

Okay, enough with taking a break. Let me put all that energy into cataloguing for the rest of the afternoon. Whee!

Eilir raved on 12:48 Links to this post

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I love this quote

from Adam Wiggins' post on Trusted Sources

'Honey, just because something is in the library doesn't mean it's worth reading.'

Your mom was right. But we do try. :)

Eilir raved on 09:46 Links to this post

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Read a Burned Book for Banned Books Week (BBW)

Via The Heretical Librarian: FREADOM (Librarians Writers & Activists for Intellectual Freedom in Cuba & Around the World)

By the way, the Heretical Librarian does a good job of showing that we're not all a bunch of wooly-headed liberals (although admittedly, I am, but I already was, as opposed to being indoctrinated with the liberal agenda in library school). But even I think that the ALA is often too involved in politics. Of course, I'm not a member, since I have more reason to be a member of the Medical Library Association. I agree with some of what they do at ALA, and not others. But they have an excellent site on Banned Books Week. So...

For more information about Banned Books Week, check out the page dedicated to it at the American Library Association.

Hey, regardless of what political views librarians have, I think we can all agree that censorship is wrong, and banning and burning books is particularly wrong.

Eilir raved on 09:29 Links to this post

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A little odd, I know, but...

There's something about the hushed, dim environment of an archives that sends shivers down my spine. The musty smell of old papers and books are as inviting as ever, enlivening the scholar inside me that has been dormant of late. The opportunity to make new discoveries and furthermore, to make them available to the public, is very exciting to me.

That's probably a tad abnormal, but hey, it's what gets my juices flowing. I'd forgotten how much it stirred in me. I so want this job, not just because it would finally bring some stability (no matter how temporarily, since it's grant funded and not guaranteed beyond a year), but because of all those cubic feet of boxes waiting to come to light.

My interview, despite my nervousness, went very well. I relaxed to the point of chatting with the staff for awhile afterwards. Plus, I managed to get back to Lexington without running out of gas. It's now on fumes, but I get paid tomorrow, so let's just hope it holds out a bit.

They were very up front about the possibilities and yet the drawbacks of the position, and I was very appreciative of that. It will be a leap of faith to leave a steady yet part-time position for one that may not be around in a year, but I'm ready to take it. I'm actually up for two positions, cataloguer/archivist and the manuscript technician, since I was qualified for both, and there isn't a huge difference in the pay, I decided to try. But I would love, all these years after specialising in cataloguing and archives in school, to be doing the intellectual work of the archivist position. I'll have to learn a lot, but I thrive on learning new things. There's standards to learn that adapt cataloguing rules to archival collections, and descriptive coding that's kind of like HTML on steroids, but they didn't seem to think my lack of practical experience with those would hold me back for long, for which I'm grateful.

So now, it's a waiting game. I have to admit, I'm almost as nervous now as when I went into the interview. Wish me luck.

Eilir raved on 09:02 Links to this post

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I was nervous because I have an interview later today

but got a little more grounded after eating, and then took a break with a 10-minute mindfulness guided meditation from Beliefnet.com. What an excellent way to spend a break at work. I feel relaxed and refreshed. It requires Flash and an audio card, by the way. You should try it, too. Okay, now I feel like tackling my afternoon projects.

Eilir raved on 12:42 Links to this post

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Musings on an autumn evening

I'm writing this at home on my PDA. IT's about 9:30 and I've just finished with a productive session at home working for distance learning (the PBS station). Before that I spent a ouple of hours with D and baby J. It was nice to actually talk for any length of time with anyone. I'm afraid that if I were a Sim my social attribute would be nil after this weekend. Goodness, I'm making video game references. See, I haven't had enough social stuff going on lately. Pretty much game night has been it, and that was last week. I thought about going to chorus or to the Unitarian church, but really, I don't want to commit to anything and then not be able to continue when my social life does go back up. I did really did mean to go to a writing group at the local library branch, but the date snuck up on me and so I wasn't prepared to take anything to discuss. Sigh. It sounds pathetic, doesn't it? I mean to do a lot, but really haven't done much. Instead I spent the weekend in bed and reading and generally doing nothing. Of course, it was my last weekend (hopefully) to laze about like that, so perhaps I can be forgiven.

I'm looking back at this month, and I have to admit, it's been a useful experiment. On the one hand I've been very emotionally stable, under little stress, and I've had a lot of chance to think, and spend some time alone with myself--something I usually, truth be told, avoid. On the ohter hand, I really value my frinedships more, and realise that I have good, decent friendships--not toxic ones that I used to hold onto in desperation rather than jettisoning them to where they belong; in the past. The most notable of those was with Liz, who ended our friendship not face to face, but via her blog. When I look at the person I am now compared to the one I was then, I'm so much more assertive. The only trouble is, somewhere in growing a backbone I went overboard and saw problems where there really were none. I suppose I've just been hurt too much before, and it's sometimes difficult for me to take things at face value and not read in things that were problems in other relationsihips. The problems were with my perceptions, and what I filled in.

Oh, I don't know, I suppose I do need to stick up for my own ieas and express myself better, and more than anything, I have to stop comparing myself to others and rather just work on being ME and accepting myself as I am as I struggle to make changes where I see the need. There really isn't anything fundamentally wrong with me. As a person, I'm probably pretty average with a little more insight thanks to a great mentor--who frnakly I never really appreciated until it was too late. I suppose I took for granted that I'd always have that, and that as a result, there was a safety net in place so I really couldn't make many lasting mistakes...and yet I kept testing that net again and again. now I'm performing without that safety net and it's scary but I feel more responsible for my own life, and that's good, because among other things it was never fair to anyone else to expect them to save me or at least give me attention for the wrong reasons. That's what I've been doing, what I've done all my life with several people. If they save me, I see them as good. If they fail me, they're bad. That's the black and white thinking of being a borderline, and something that it's high time I stopped doing.

Meanwhile, I have to stop thinking of myself as a failure. A counselor told me recently that you can't expect to remember everything perfectly like a snapshot, that memory doesn't work that way. I've seen myself as unable to remember anything, being defective, when really, I'm just normal. The same goes for things I do in daily life. I have some challenges. I do seem to have attention issues, something I'm about to start medicine to help with. But mostly I think I just get overwhelmed by all the multitudes of things going on in my personal life, because when things got so much quieter, I was fine, and there was also no building blocks to derive much drama from, either. At the same time, I'm bored. Bored with my work. Bored without anyone else coming up with things for me to do. And that's pretty sad. When I'm alone and have free time, I feel nearly paralysed with all the different things I could do. I can't really relax and do what I'd like because...well, I'm not really sure about why that is. Maybe it's a fear of being alone, being responsible for my own choices. Maybe it's the ADD. I don't know. But I need to recapture that drive to do things and follow through with them. It's funny, when I'm so busy I can't think straight I can come up with all sorts of things I want to do--but again, are they things I would if I had the chance? After this month, I can say pretty much that that's a no. And that's something that has to change.

I'm looking forward to the end of the month, the end of the experiment, although there's some trepidation, because how it ends isn't up to just me. I know what I want to happen, but I'm not sure what will.

I know this is rambling, but it's the first time in awhile I've really written about my feelings. I don't know if anything will make sense to the rest of you, but that's okay...this post is for me.

Eilir raved on 21:20 Links to this post

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I'm still here

I just haven't had much to say. I got the book chapter finsihed and sent off at the end of last week. Friday we lost water at the apartment again, but it came back on quicker. This weekend I mostly stayed in bed and read. I'm re-reading the Harry Potter books, among others. Today it's gloomy and rainy (the remnants of Rita, funny how the only real rain we've had over the last few months has been from the tropical storms that mess with everyone else). I want to curl up and sleep, having just eaten lentil-rice-potato gruel (hey, I can't cook but it wasn't too bad). This morning has been very productive (I kept my happy sunshine light on to help...meaning a floor lamp with those Reveal full-spectrum bulbs). I now have a new project of moving the catalogue to Caspr's Library World site, where for a dollar a day your library can have access to its catalogue and others via the web. All in all, it's a pretty good deal. I supposedly can convert our current Access catalogue to their MARC format one without re-doing everything, but I'm still working on that. That's pretty much it...time to go back to that, break time is over. Cheers.

Eilir raved on 12:46 Links to this post

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Create your own blog, remain anonymous, get round censorship...

Blog censorship handbook released

Reporters without Borders, recognising that bloggers are the closest thing to reporters in some countries, have released a manual to get around censorship and recriminations. The Handbook for Bloggers and Cyber-Dissidents is available from their website.

Eilir raved on 14:06 Links to this post

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So full, so happy

Twice a year they have a birthday breakfast at work, where the managers fix omelets and serve you. Today was mine (my birthday's in April, but like I said, it's only twice a year) and I am now full of eggs, biscuits, potatoes, and all sorts of breakfast goodness. On the bad side, I had to get up early to go and then stuffed myself, so I'm a bit sleepy. But I don't start work for another half hour, so hopefully that will pass. And if you wonder why I stuffed myself, today's lunch will be peanut butter and bread, so I took full advantage of a free meal to get my day going.

Yesterday I finally did the laundry, and during that the maintenance guys came and fixed my air conditioner. Apparently rust had gotten into the system and plugged in to running over. It was easy to fix, just needing to be flushed out, but some went down onto the already wet clothes so now I had rust stains to tackle. Meanwhile, some workers building a retaining wall to take care of some drainage problems in the front of the apartment building hit a water line, so our building and the one next to it lost pressure. They hoped to get it back on in a couple of hours, but it actually came back on at 5:30 this morning (I woke up when the toilet filled). So it was an eventfull evening. But I managed to get some work done on the computer and did some yoga and meditation, so that was fine.

Oh, I've been doing yoga every morning and feel really good as a result. I love my Yoga A.M. tape with Rodney Yee. Actually, I love Rodney Yee. His voice is so soothing, and I must say he's a pleasure to look at as well. But he's also very clear in how to do the yoga postures.

Well, that's a quick update on my life. I'm going to check the news and then clock in when it's time. Today if I'm not super busy, I'm going to work on that chapter for the career book. I'm more than half-way finished, so I think I made good progress yesterday. I'll try to finish today and then send it off to be edited. I'm excited to be part of such a project, and of course, it's one more thing to add to my vita, which is filling up quite nicely with professional activities. It's amazing how much eight years' experience can change one. :)

Have a good day. Oh, and by the way, happy Autumn/Mabon or for those of you down under, Spring/Ostara. :)

Eilir raved on 09:26 Links to this post

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Okay, I put off laundry

one more day because I found clean khakis and sewed a tear in one of my clean shirts. Good to go, yes? Well, except wearing khakis during your period apparently tempts the universe's sense of humour, as I just found out that instead on going on the pad, my body miraculously bypassed all feminine protection and went straight to the khakis. What can I say, it's a talent. (Sorry if this grosses anyone out, but you women out there will understand). Sigh.

On the plus note, I work in a hospital, so I was able to borrow some scrub pants rather than go all the way home to change into anything else, which is also good since it's all dirty. So, the khakis get washed tonight like everything else. Fortunately I was able to attack the stain quickly and I don't think it will set.

On a brighter note, I scored a table yesterday that someone had put out. It's unfinished wood with a shelf and two wheels on one end (it's not missing any wheels, it's just supposed to have the two). It would make a really nice altar at some point, but for now it's holding my printer and some books on the lower shelf and I have some workspace next to my desk now with the top. It was in fine shape, just needed a quick cleaning. I moved one of the end tables to the dining room and now have a recycling cube on top with papers to keep or file on the lower shelf of that table, so it's helping with organisation. Now I have a place near the door for recycling junk mail.

Well that's it, just thought I'd check in and vent during lunch. Ta.

Eilir raved on 12:10 Links to this post

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Go check the flag and put an end to the naysayers

who don't believe we ever went to the moon. :)

The Globe and Mail: NASA goes for the retro look in rocket design

Eilir raved on 09:09 Links to this post

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FDA Approves First Pediatric Generic AIDS Drug for U.S. Marketing

FDA Approves First Pediatric Generic AIDS Drug for U.S. Marketing

Eilir raved on 09:06 Links to this post

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It was inevitable

Authors sue Google over Google Print

Eilir raved on 09:04 Links to this post

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Yay, Steve!

My cousin, who is near Biloxi, is back at work and living with friends. His apartment was trashed by Katrina, but most of his stuff survived thanks to some heavy plastic sheeting he had the presence of mind to use.

I'm wondering where Hurricane Rita will wind up. Hopefully not any of the areas already hit by Katrina, although it looks like it's heading towards Galveston/Houston, so towards where a lot of evacuees are living right now. That's the last thing these people need.

So glad at the moment that I don't live near the beach, although I must say that 9/10 of the time it's probably pure heaven. Here in Kentucky our main potential disasters are: flooding (lots of streams and ridges), tornadoes, ice storms (probably our most widespread possibility), earthquake (we have the New Madrid fault to worry about, but it's rare and I don't think Lexington is in the main zone for major damage) and chemical release (we have a weapons depot in the area, so people are urged to 'Know Your Zone'). In other words, no destruction of biblical proportion is likely. I think in most of the end-of-the-world scenarios (which of course, aren't end of the world, just end of people) we're still on enough high ground that the sea won't take us over. Just in case you were wondering. (Hey, I read those roleplaying game scenarios of doom, doesn't everybody?)

Eilir raved on 17:30 Links to this post

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Need something to pick your day up?

How about birds moonwalking? Go to Moonwalk Imitator to see, and be sure to have sound and speakers ready, because it's hilarious in conjunction with 'Billie Jean'. :)

Ah, the