Unshelved	by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum

Wanna have some fun?

A combination of finally using my webspace and playing with the Hero Machine means that this page gets a nifty mascot, if you will, a superheroine with the ability to pull information out of the ethereal world of the Internet and tame it into useable form. Hence, the wild sparks and whip --what, you thought it was kinky ;)? (Ah, but where else would you find a PURPLE whip?) Anyway, hope you enjoy.

PS I'm sorry I haven't posted much in the last couple of days. I spent a lot of the last 24 hours curled up with stomach cramps and other violent intestinal ickiness punctuated with a meeting and working on files at work. The culprit? Well, it's happened three of the last four Sundays (game days, and the one thing missing during the 'good' day and present on all the 'bad' days was cashews (and yesterday there were pecans, too). It looks like I've developed an allergy to nuts, which is annoying, given that 1) they were one of the things I didn't have problems with--a rare thing and 2) a lot of Indian, Thai, and other cooking I love tends to have them. But I'd rather not feel that sick, either. I'm beginning to think by the time I'm an old lady they'll be putting me not in a home but in a bubble, I already have allergies to so much. Rats. Anyway, so I wasn't feeling much like blogging.

This morning I was sadly reduced to pedestrian road rage. Yeah. I know. How pathetic. This guy nearly ran me down (I'm exaggerating slightly, Momma!) and then, I don't know if I frowned or what, but he made this face like he was about to stick his tongue out. Mind you, he looked like he was in his 40s and thought he was hot stuff--had a shaved head, nice car, etc.) I'm afraid I flipped him off, which I suppose was unladylike but there are few things that annoy me more than people propelling around in heavy machinery without wanting to share the road with the rest of us. My most sustained swearing bout which consisted of about forty uses of the f-word happened when an older couple in a Cadillac nearly careened into Zabet and me. I jumped between the car and her, putting my hand out against it (like that was really going to stop it, I know) and then swore like a sailor, surprising everyone involved. I do normally keep my language pretty clean, but you scare the bejeesus out of me and there's no telling what you'll get.

Fortunately I can't sustain trivial anger. Whilst seriously considering walking over to where he was now parked and asking him what he thought that was all about, I instead turned towards work and started walking. My reward for this was seeing a beautiful orange butterfly and a cedar waxwing (I've only seen one other in the area). What can I say; it's the simple things in life that make me happy, and I'm easily distracted. :)

My day went pretty well, and I've mostly done some computer things tonight. I did have something come into my head on the way home today (believe it or not, this was sparked from misreading an author's name in the checkout at the druggist):

Dreamcomber

She traipses into dreams, pushing through the ragged strands
Always walking, always watching,
But never truly a part of the sleeper's world.

Here and there she pauses
Picking up a treasured marble shining in the sun
Half-forgotten childhood in an old man's dream.

From another comes fears of failure
In the form of shackles,
or an infant's cry.

All through the dreamlands she searches the sand
Following the ebb and flow of the tide
And collecting the pieces left behind.

Woven together they form humanity
In the shape that seems to swell and change
And breathing into her sculpture

She steps inside
And finds life.

Once the idea came to me, it creeped me out a little. Imagine a creature who can only live, only feel, by gleaning forgotten bits of dreams. What if it chose to steal something central to your memories? Would you lose it forever? There's probably a short story in that, at least.

I talked to my mom tonight. I had sent her an e-mail the other night, and then coincidentally--if there is a such thing--called right after she finished reading it. She read the comments Zabet had made and agreed that I was the better off for it. This led to a discussion of my father (hmmm...could it be the similarities?) and my mom reminded me of my dad's mottos of life:

'Baffle them with bullshit"
-and-
'Do unto others and then split'

I'd forgotten that completely. But, yeah, but that says volumes, I suppose. She said it sounded like Dwana was someone who could handle the give and take of a relationship and who understood what friendship meant. She asked me about Heather's baby and I told her Heather was home but we weren't sure how long the baby would be there. She said they normally kept them until they were 5 lbs and it sounds like he doesn't have that much to go, so hopefully everybody will be home and fine soon.

Well, that's enough for now. Hey, you got a nifty picture and a sort-of poem. What more do you want?

Eilir raved on 23:35 Links to this post

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Wanna have some fun?

Try the Hero Machine, where you can make your own phantasy, sports, or super hero/ine. :)

Eilir raved on 22:43 Links to this post

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Ha! You thought I was finished with the quizzes already, yes?

...okay, I promise, this'll be the last one tonight.


You are Peace.

You are at peace with your self and the world
around you. You have balance in your life and
exude tranquility from every pore of your body.
People are constantly asking you "what is
your secret?"


What Emotion Are You?
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What's a classicist to do?

Looking over the TV listings for tonight I find...

1. Warrior Challenge (where modern athletes, police, and military live and train like Vikings)
   
2. TNT's miniseries Caesar, which includes one of the last performances of the late, great Richard Harris
   
3. Jason and the Argonauts (1963 version)
   
4. Clash of the Titans (which I have fond memories of, especially in mythology class when we took apart the script)
   

Unfortunately I got in after 1 was over, 2 had started (although it repeats later tonight, hmmm), and I've seen 3 and 4 several times a piece. Still, it was nice to see so many classics-inspired offerings.

Since I did come in late, I went online instead of watching TV, which is how I came across the headline regarding the death of Katharine Hepburn. :( People say these things go in threes. First Gregory Peck, then Hume Cronyn, now Katharine Hepburn. I dare say her voice especially will be remembered by generations. She was the epitome of a strong woman who could be sexy and brainy all at once, and she's probably my all-time favourite actress. On a librarian-related note, she played with her long-time love, Spencer Tracy, in Desk Set which many librarians will tell you is THE librarian movie of the century (I still haven't managed to watch it). For more great pictures and a filmography, try Simon Sez and for just about anything else, try this page of links.

Eilir raved on 20:53 Links to this post

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I feel happy

I slept in the bedroom last night, which shouldn't be that odd except I've been on the couch for a couple of months now. The couch is actually more comfortable, hence the tendency to stay there, but the bedroom has the added benefit of full early morning sun (much easier to get up) and last night, anyway, no cats or dog. With my allergies being worse, I thought it would be good to take a break (and they were soooo happy to see me this morning).

I talked to Dwana yesterday and she's feeling much better. Her friend Heather's out of ICU. Yay! I went over and checked Dwana's blog and came across the mythical woman quiz below (she was Eve), and well, for me quizzes are like Pringles--once you do one, you can't stop.

I sent my mom a pretty long e-mail last night--caught her up on what sort of things had been going on lately here. You'd think with the advent of technology I would write more often; I'm the world's worst letter writer in terms of real letters. Sigh.

Well, I'd better get a shower. I'm supposed to be over at the game by a little after 11 so I can do some typing before Brenda gets there (the whip cracks!) Of course, with all the transcription I've been doing, I think my characters are safe from demise for awhile. :) Ah, bribery!

Eilir raved on 09:31 Links to this post

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:)

LIGHT MAGE

You are very, very, very powerful. You can destroy
Dark Mages with Sunlight, Evaporate Water
Mages, Turn Blood Mages to powder, even kick
Battle Mages' ass. Good work.


What type of Mage are you?
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Sigh. Of course.

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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Eilir raved on 09:18 Links to this post

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I'm in a quiz mood!

You are CASSANDRA!
You are blessed with the gift--and the curse--of psychic intuition. The problem is nobody listens to you. Your intuition was a gift from Apollo, you see, and you turned up your nose at HIM, but took the gift anyway. Angered at your spurning of his advances, he gave you the gift but made it useless. That'll teach you to look a gift-Trojan-Horse in the mouth, won't it?
What Beautiful and Tragick Mythic Woman Are You?
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Eilir raved on 09:11 Links to this post

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Ugh.

This has been a week of hell all around. Maybe it's some sort of pre-holiday thing. Dwana had some complications from her procedure Wednesday; they had to go back in today and repair some bleeding and she may have a slight infection. :( I think she feels like she's been beaten up inside and outside. I now know about some of the scary things they put you through with it, though--it starts with a needle in the cervix and seems to go downhill from there. But of course it's better than letting things build up and lead to something more serious. Still, I wish just once she could have everything go alright and not have any weird reactions. I'm sure she feels the same way. Argh. Even worse, her friend Heather, who went into premature labour Tuesday night did deliver her little boy, but both mom and son are in the ICU. The baby's doing pretty well--he's 4 1/2 pounds and not quite developed in terms of his lungs, but he'll probably catch up soon. She was far enough along that I think everything on that front will be okay. But Heather also had her vitals bottom out during delivery so they did an emergency Caesarian section and apparently she bled pretty badly during that--they're having family donate blood, etc. (I kind of wish I hadn't just given; unless she's Rh negative I could give to her). I'm sure everything will be okay in the end, but it's a lot of strain during what should be a happy event, and of course Dwana's frustrated because she can't be there. I've only met Heather once but I feel like there must be something I should be doing--but of course if I showed up at the hospital her family wouldn't know me from Adam. But I think the church brigade has been alerted, so I think they'll be okay. Maybe it's just as well little Caleb will be the hospital a bit--it'll give his mum a chance to recover.

It's just something like that which scares the bejeesus out of me if I think about it too much. Maybe I'm a little psycho because my mom had so much trouble carrying me (although at least the delivery was a piece of cake). I can remember as a teenager being afraid things would go horribly wrong during pregnancy. Then I was told I might not be able to have kids (although I think that's poppycock--my hormones are a little screwy but everything else seems fine, especially when I have my blood sugar under control). That was a shock but a little bit of a relief. Then I was in a marriage but so needed to not be breeding, and the subject's been pretty moot since then. I'm sorry to say that in my case I think it's a control thing. Once you become pregnant, control flies out of the window. You can do all the right things and still run into snags, whilst moms strung out on cocaine can have perfectly fine babies. I guess the only way to deal with that fear, though, is to focus on the end result and the good aspects of it all, then deal with the crises if necessary.

I've actually been doing okay--I read furiously Monday and Tuesday, I've taken advantage of the lull at work to go through and purge, organise some old files, typed furiously a couple of nights in a row, and I've had some problems with my asthma and allergies. But none of that should make me so tired, right? Fortunately tomorrow I have the whole day to myself, so I plan on getting some rest, doing some laundry, and working on the house. This morning I learnt not to gasp for air whilst walking between a road and a forest/creek area. I inhaled a bug straight into the windpipe, with an albuterol chaser. Ugh. I always thought the Jains had the right idea of wearing a veil or some other barrier between them and the insects outside. They don't want to unnecessarily kill another creature, no matter how small.

Oh, gee, it's getting late and I am soooooooo sleepy. I'm sure I'll write tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm sure I'll blog tomorrow. 'Night.

Eilir raved on 01:32 Links to this post

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It's been a long and busy day...

...but I couldn't go to sleep without posting a Friday Five--and they made it adaptable no matter where you are in the world. :)

1. How are you planning to spend the summer [winter]?
It's sort of sad--my summers really aren't any different than the rest of the year these days. I'll swim more and go walking of course, garden, etc., but the days of just doing fun things over the summer are long behind me. I am looking forward to the Fourth of July festival next week. It's my favourite 'public' holiday--I usually spend it downtown watching the parade, sifting through the booths, and listening to the music. Later I catch fireworks; I used to watch the ones downtown when I lived there; now I can go over to work and watch the ones that the golf course down the street has.

2. What was your first summer job?
Volunteer-wise I gave tours at the Ephraim McDowell House and Apothecary Shop in Danville, Kentucky. (Dr McDowell performed the first successful surgery to remove an ovarian cyst at the turn of the nineteenth century. He is considered the 'Father of Abdominal Surgery'. Ironically, his patient outlived him and he died of--appendicitis.) In terms of money, I processed incoming freshmen meal cards at UK, but that only lasted a couple of weeks during the conferences. The first all-summer job was dressing in an orange-striped blazer and stocking toys at Toys 'R Us.

3. If you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?
Ireland and Britain.

4. What was your worst vacation ever?
A trip to visit family, then the Smoky Mountains, followed by a giant pagan gathering. We were invaded by Ku Klux Klan and hit with one of the worst thunderstorms in recent memory--and having standing in water during lightning strikes trying to save lunch (Beanie Weenies) during a campout--and you happen to have brontophobia. Imagine having your Chevette full of five people die whilst crossing a four lane highway returning from getting menstrual pads for one of the kids who'd just started her first period. Imagine taking a Chevette over fields whilst patrolling against the KKK, or guarding the gate and having guys with rifles in their trucks drive up. Imagine trying to find a place in the bushes to urinate when a Georgia State Trooper is just 20 yards away whilst your friends chant 'Lisa has to pee!' Imagine having dogs running through the camp (again, the KKK) only to be chased off by the local pagans who are just as gun-happy. Imagine having a guy with a sword tucked in his video equipment catching fireflies to read his watch (this was way before those Indiglo commercials). Imagine people running seminars on Welsh paganism who can't even pronounce their Craft names and string together stupid shit that when translated means So-and-so son of (but a female) the husband's name, indicating a bizarre incestuous homosexual relationship just because they didn't get their facts right. Imagine Lakota crashing the party and idiots who don't know the difference between sage and sagebrush getting all huffy because he was explaining (rightly so) that they were stealing Lakota culture and debasing it--like running 'sweat lodges' for so much a pop. Did I mention this was my honeymoon?

5. What was your best vacation ever?
Same one, actually. It was so awful, we all bonded.

Okay, heading to bead now. I have three cats lined up asleep--one between my hands, one lying on my wrist, hanging off the shelf nearby, and one curled up with his head on the middle one's rear. I wish I could snap a picture, but I can barely type--they've taken all the circulation out of my hands, I think. :)

Eilir raved on 01:28 Links to this post

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Salvete...

Academia Thules is a website devoted to the study of ancient Roman culture and its modern devotees. It was established in association with one of the provinces of Nova Roma. They have even recently added a Temple to Minerva. If you have any interest in the ancient world or Roman paganism, you may want to check them out.

Eilir raved on 03:28 Links to this post

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Update

By the way, Dwana called me earlier today to let me know she's on her way home and doing well. I think she's really tired, but otherwise okay, which is good. Hopefully she'll get some rest. She deserves a little. Somehow I suspect she'll sneak back to the hospital to be with Heather, though. :)

With school and health and everything else, I don't see how she does it. She blogged the other day about what she's like as a friend--and every word is her to a T. I've never known someone like her. On the one hand, what you see really is what you get, she's pretty even-keeled emotionally, and supportive in all sorts of ways. She's sweet but with a backbone. She doesn't mindlessly pat you on the back when you're being a git, but on the other hand she doesn't go flying off the handle or get caught up so much in her own world that she either ignores or takes out her frustrations on others. She's had to learn the hard way how to take care of her own needs and not put all of herself into everyone else. She's deeper than most ever probably give her credit for--I think some dismiss her as a 'goody-goody' church girl, and she's so much more than that, if they'd bother to pay attention. There's also a very quiet, very stubborn strength underneath all the other layers--which is good, because it'll leave her in good stead for dealing with the challenges of life. Well, that and her sense of humour. :)

If you've been reading this blog for very long, I guess you could understand why we get along so well. Frankly it's a relief to have all the poisonous personalities I've known out of my life. My ex was the worst but by no means only. It's great to have people you can depend on to be honest with you, to support you without denigrating you, but without turning a blind eye to your faults. For years I've been blessed with that kind of friendship, but it is a harsher, different sort of thing that I really can't describe. It's like having a mirror that not only reflects back but remembers all the good and bad you've ever done, so sometimes it's hard to feel like I've made progress in the eyes of those who have known me for so long.

Of everyone in my life, Dwana is probably the gentlest, but sometimes I need that. She accepts me as I am--not how I was (although in truth she also didn't know me when I was a selfish, angst-ridden basket case, and in fact has a hard time imagining me as such). But even if she had, I think she would accept the changes. For so long I've been out on a wire emotionally, getting counseling and taking control of my life, but not having someone who really understands where I've been. She does, and for the first time I have a friendship where the other person and I are on equal footing, supporting one another to be independent yet understanding. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but I just want to let her (well, and I guess all the rest of you out there) know how much I appreciate her coming into my life. Friends should make your life more complete, have more substance, richer. Dwana's done all those things, and I can only hope I can do the same for her.

Eilir raved on 16:26 Links to this post

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'You can't kill people to the Lion King!'

That is the most memorable line from a discussion my neighbours and I had last night. I wound up not taking a nap after I blogged but took Cerys out and joined several other people who were doing 'torch night'--sitting on the patio with tiki torches lit, drinking and talking about who knows what. The kids were running in and out talking about a computer game that's a sort of paintball-shoot-and-go-after-the-flag thing, and one of the guys was talking about how he was playing a networked game and making a run for the flag when suddenly 'Hakuna Matata' came over the speakers. Turns out one of the female neighbours had plugged that in, much to his consternation. :)

I met one of my neighbours, a guy named Gail (and I feel for him--he must have had a very difficult childhood), who is pagan, a little odd (but then...), seems to have a fetish for swords, etc. We were trying to explain to the others what paganism is. He knows my exes, but hasn't seen them in over a year, so at least he seems to realise they're crazy, which is a point in his favour. I also explained libations, which one of the guys asserted was 'alcohol abuse'--because you pour the drink out onto the ground as a gift to the Gods rather than drinking it yourself.

I also discovered that the creepy guy at Meijer's who greets people (and whom I've never seen in the daytime, which led to discussion of him possibly being a vampire) is apparently an ex-bank president who suffered a stroke several years ago leaving him somewhat sweet but odd and living with his mum (one of the people in the group works there). He's still a bit creepy (he smiles and in a very queenish voice goes...'heellloooo'), but at least I know why now. I've always tried to smile and say hi to him anyway. I have to admit, it's good that places like Meijer's and Wal-Mart have greeters, because it's probably the perfect job for someone who has low skills or is retired.

Speaking of vampires, there is apparently a neighbour who has all sorts of printouts and books in his house on vampirism, was quite convinced he was a vampire, who would hiss if anyone came to the door whilst the sun was shining and acted like he would be burnt. Apparently he was out at the pool the other day. I guess he got counseling. I have to admit, it fascinates me that we live in little boxes within a stone's throw of our neighbours and usually haven't a clue what goes on in other people's lives. We'd probably like some of them (and run screaming from others), but most people don't open up easily these days, and usually keep things under wraps even if they do present some sort of 'public' front.

I also found out more about the circumstances of Bert leaving. Apparently, according to him--and I'm not saying the source is impeccable--our apartment manager is embezzling a great deal, doing things like ordering things with the rental property's money that then goes to her house or having the maintenance guys work for her on company time. Apparently the owner is in Ohio and comes down on a monthly basis to get the money but otherwise isn't that involved and would like to sell the place. At one point as an incentive he set up accounts where for each person who stayed he put in $500 per 6 months with the idea that when the place sold they'd get the money. Bert's was up to about $4000. Some people had been here much longer. Apparently, though, it was set up rather like a tontine--whomever was still there at the sale would get the money. So...the rental agent has apparently decided that Bert 'hasn't been happy with his job and should leave' and that everyone else who has been there for awhile should go, too. We have a new secretary, and three new maintenance guys coming in, all at lower pay. The new maintenance supervisor, who has 40 years' experience, is only making 50 cents more than the techs. Meanwhile, Bert had a job fall into his lap out at Rabbit Run, a very new, ritzy place which shouldn't have all the issues that our older apartments have. So that's good for him and his family. They found an apartment first, so for now they're not going to be living at the same complex, but that also means that he won't get paged as easily, I guess. One of the good things for us as residents, but not so good for the workers, is that we could get maintenance in about 2 minutes flat if there were a problem.

I hope this doesn't mean the complex is going to hell in a handbasket. So far I've been very happy with the service, the location, etc. Anything that's gone out has been fixed quickly. One problem that is ongoing is drain flies--these little black hairy flies that look almost like moths but don't bite--but Bert says they cleared out water from underneath my building a couple of weeks ago so that should get better. Otherwise I have no complaints. It's right next to work, it has a pool, there's decent neighbours, and they allow pets. :) I like having the courtyard where the kids can play or Cerys can roll around and I like the multiculturalness of my neighbours--lots of different languages, music, etc., but not loud music late or anything like that. And I can plant my garden around the patio--they even give out plants as an incentive, so that's good.

Eilir raved on 12:51 Links to this post

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Now I know why Harry isn't in Ravenclaw

Okay, after having a night to let the latest book sink in, there is one thing that is bothering me. A lot. The entire conclusion of the book relies on Harry doing something incredibly stupid. He is specifically given something that he should use, but he doesn't even bother to open it until it is far too late--and unfortunately, Hermione doesn't know about it, and she can only work with what she knows. I know that Harry's heart and his bravery are his greatest gifts--not his brain--but still....I'm trying to decide if Rowling used this as a device to show that sometimes people get caught up in things and just don't see the obvious, or something to burden Harry with in terms of guilt, or what. It could easily have been left out completely otherwise. I can understand the mistakes Dumbledore makes--and I've seen those coming for a long time--but I don't understand this one. Perhaps tha